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  1. #11
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    That’s really interesting @Birdface as I’ve noticed several times those who are created from donor eggs are very similar to the person who gives birth to them.

    In my family my sisters and I are all very similar so you can’t tell either way. But I know families with no genetic link to the egg and the child looks just like the mum.

  2. #12
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    Oh that’s so nice to hear! 🤞🏼

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Birdface View Post
    @cagav, genetically speaking it is half the donor sister’s DNA. @gorgeousgeorge comments are very true and real regarding the psychological and family considerations for both the sisters. Genes is only part of the story that makes a child.

    As a donor egg recipient myself, I struggled from my recipient angle when making the decision. “When an egg is donated, this means that the social mother, who has nurtured the fertilised egg until the birth and has breastfed and raised the child, has imparted to the child a biological similarity to herself. In part, she has in fact become a biological mother.”

    I read about EPIGENETICS where the birth (donor recipient) mother can alter the DNA 🧬 expression during pregnancy from environmental factors eg diet etc. A starting read: http://www.yourivfjourney.com/epigen...r-babys-genes/

    Search: “epigenetics ivf donor egg”. There’s a book that you can share with them as well.

    A friend likened the donor egg as a human-human organic donation - eg transplant, blood transfusion etc. To give another a kickstart / continuation of life, but that does not change what the person is - think heart transplant.

    Ultimately, the gift in the opportunity in life and it is the FAMILY upbringing and influences that makes the child. The modern family unit is what bonds the child to the parents, not DNA / Genetics alone - think adoptive/foster unions, gay parents etc. Having genetics from another parent does not make one another’s child nor half siblings.

    Some may draw contracts or rely on mutual understanding on where the relationship of the child with the egg donor and family. It comes down to the relationships between the donor and recipient to start with, how they want to continue to interact, co-parent or co-decide (if they wish) etc. I personally feel the latter is inappropriate if not, intrusive but respect the communal parenting environment in families and communities.

    Therefore, the counselling often necessary between donor and recipient individuals / family units. It is also a question to tell or not tell the child of their donor, and how to do so. Again, there are story books that can assist in the narrative already. See: https://creatingafamily.org/infertil...rm-and-embryo/

    These gave me great comfort in proceeding in my decision. It’s a big mind field for anyone to navigate. I hope you can help your sisters in theirs too.
    very well written & explained x

  4. #14
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    I kind of get it. I wouldn’t take issue in donating. Once it’s out of my body and in theirs, it’s their baby. My husband wouldn’t see it that way though. He’d always see us connected to the child and it’d be really hard for him. He’d never donate sperm for the same reason. Which is funny because our eldest isn’t biologically his but we’ve been together since I was pregnant and there is nothing at all to make anyone think they weren’t related. He treats the kid like his own. So I guess for him, his (or my) genes going to someone else’s kids is too much, but the genetics of the kids we raise doesn’t matter as much.

    And just touching on another subject brought up... The similarities between our eldest and my husband are astounding, considering there is no bio connection. I think a lot of who you are and what you look like comes down to environmental factors like learned mannerisms as well. Obviously differing race and stuff would make a larger difference though. But yes, the amount of people that comment that he looks just like his dad is quite funny really.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Ahalfdozen For This Useful Post:

    gorgeousgeorge (22-04-2019)

  6. #15
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    Also just another note on epigenetics, if you put that same egg/ embryo into a different person, the resulting baby/child would be totally different, so same embryo, different recipients, different baby.


 

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