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  1. #1
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    Default Newborn and 2 year old toddler

    Hi Guys

    I hope there are some of you out there in my situation - I’m worried, stuck, stressed everything you could imagine you can go through.

    So I had a c-section just 5 days ago with my second boy. My first boy is 2 and 3 months.

    We had to stay at my parents house because my husband unfortunately can not take time off work just yet.

    My situation is that now that we have been at my parents house for a week my 2 year old has fallen out of he’s routine and started mis behaving. He is very helpful and shows genuine love and affection to he’s brother. We were battling with he’s behaviour before and got it under control.

    My question now is, advice from people on what to do or what they did if they have ever been in this situation?

    I just hope that when we go back home next weekend he will go back into he’s routine

  2. #2
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    no direct advice re the newborn situation but we stayed at my parents place over xmas for 2.5 weeks and ds was totally out of routine. it was absolute torture, for all of us. he went back to his normal routine once we got home thankfully. i can’t even imagine what you’re going through with a newborn and a cs. can you get your parents to take the toddler out a bit? even just a walk around the block or down the park to run off some energy? you’re obviously limited in where you can do and what you can do 5 days post-op so i’d be looking to see if they can help out? fwiw mine were hopeless with my ds. didn’t bother at all, i found it really hurtful and disappointing. as such they’re not coming when we have our second next month. i’m also having a cs but dh is taking 2-3 weeks off work to help me and ds will remain at daycare 4 days a week. it’s just so hard with 2, never mind throwing in major abdominal surgery on top of it all. hang in there and hopefully you get to go home asap x

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    no direct advice re the newborn situation but we stayed at my parents place over xmas for 2.5 weeks and ds was totally out of routine. it was absolute torture, for all of us. he went back to his normal routine once we got home thankfully. i can’t even imagine what you’re going through with a newborn and a cs. can you get your parents to take the toddler out a bit? even just a walk around the block or down the park to run off some energy? you’re obviously limited in where you can do and what you can do 5 days post-op so i’d be looking to see if they can help out? fwiw mine were hopeless with my ds. didn’t bother at all, i found it really hurtful and disappointing. as such they’re not coming when we have our second next month. i’m also having a cs but dh is taking 2-3 weeks off work to help me and ds will remain at daycare 4 days a week. it’s just so hard with 2, never mind throwing in major abdominal surgery on top of it all. hang in there and hopefully you get to go home asap x
    This is great!
    Thank you

    They do take my 2 y/o out to parks and shops but last couple of days it’s been either raining or extremely hot My parents have been really good but like you said it’s getting exhausting for everyone.

    Can’t wait for hubby to go on leave but it pretty much won’t be until end of April which means I will be 6 week PP. But anytime that hubby can take off no matter how long or how many days is better than nothing.
    At least we will have time for both of them
    But until then I know it will be hard. Just have to persevere

    🥰

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    what’s he do for work that he can’t get leave now? that’s really crappy, esp since you’ve had a cs. once you’re able to drive it’ll get a bit easier. did you have a cs with your first? how soon were you driving? i was driving after about 2-3 weeks i think, just locally, but it’s such freedom compared to being housebound. does your older one go to childcare or kinder?

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    what’s he do for work that he can’t get leave now? that’s really crappy, esp since you’ve had a cs. once you’re able to drive it’ll get a bit easier. did you have a cs with your first? how soon were you driving? i was driving after about 2-3 weeks i think, just locally, but it’s such freedom compared to being housebound. does your older one go to childcare or kinder?
    He’s a police officer. But he has a course he needs to finish and public holidays are mandatory for him no matter what the situation.

    Yep c-section with first. Both babies were breech.

    With first I didn’t drive until 2 months as I didnt need to cause hubby was home from day dot.

    This time it’s harder cause of he’s work situation

    Older one goes to childcare 3 days a week but I am wanting to put him into care 5 days for now until I get better

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    what’s he do for work that he can’t get leave now? that’s really crappy, esp since you’ve had a cs. once you’re able to drive it’ll get a bit easier. did you have a cs with your first? how soon were you driving? i was driving after about 2-3 weeks i think, just locally, but it’s such freedom compared to being housebound. does your older one go to childcare or kinder?
    And definitely your sanity comes back when you can drive

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    Quote Originally Posted by cbeg View Post
    He’s a police officer. But he has a course he needs to finish and public holidays are mandatory for him no matter what the situation.

    Yep c-section with first. Both babies were breech.

    With first I didn’t drive until 2 months as I didnt need to cause hubby was home from day dot.

    This time it’s harder cause of he’s work situation

    Older one goes to childcare 3 days a week but I am wanting to put him into care 5 days for now until I get better
    that might be a good idea. you’ll heal faster if you can rest more and it’s a huge load off your shoulders. he’ll come home tired from daycare so hopefully it’s just dinner and bath which your parents can hopefully do/help with, then off to bed.

    i’d be taking all the help i can get

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    When I had dd last aug I kept Ds2 routine the same as it was.

    When I came home on day 6 post c/sec (my 2nd in a row) my folks took Ds2 to his daycare 2 days a week and they had him the other 3 days so that I could heal and not have to chase a 2 year old around.

    I would get him ready in the morning and my dad would come up and get him around 930 and bring him home at 430. Daycare days he dropped him off and dh picked him up.

    Both c-sec dh only had 2 days off work in total so I get where you coming from. We can’t pick them up and cuddle them not because we don’t want to but because we can’t lift them at all.

    It was around 4 weeks that he started staying home with me more but if my folks went out they would take him in a adventure for some fun. Now he is home all the time with me except for the daycare. He goes on adventures still and next year when I go back to work I’ll start the old routine back again with them taking him more

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    It is such a huge juggle isn't it!!!

    He's also going through a huge transition getting a sibling. I would actually suggest the opposite - ask your parents to watch the baby for a bit so you can have some 1:1 time with your older son? Maybe he's feeling disconnected from you and a bit jealous of bub?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fi Poledancer View Post
    It is such a huge juggle isn't it!!!

    He's also going through a huge transition getting a sibling. I would actually suggest the opposite - ask your parents to watch the baby for a bit so you can have some 1:1 time with your older son? Maybe he's feeling disconnected from you and a bit jealous of bub?
    I agree with this, you’ve just had a newborn and you’re staying somewhere else, it’s a big change for him. When you get home you’ll probably have a slightly different routine with him anyway but I’m sure you’ll all find your balance but right now I would find some time to spend with him if you can.

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