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  1. #21
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    we had 3 surprises then we found out with #4. we have a boy, girl, boy, boy. we all really wanted another girl and after having major gender disappointment with #3 i didnt want that again once bub was here. so we found out and honestly been the best thing we could have done. we dealt with any negative feelings and have been so happy with our now 5wk old little boy

  2. #22
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    I found out first time because hubby really wanted to know and i felt like it woukd make it more real for him as dads dont get to experience much at all diring the actual pregnancy. We also did years if IVF and ended up using donor eggs and sperm and throughout the whole time DH was totally supportive and agreed to everything I wanted and after so many years, this was the only thing he ever asked for, so I was more than happy to let him have the 1 thing he wanted and cared about.
    I always thought id wanted a surprise at birth but felt that we got the surprise, just at the scan. So still a surprise just at a different time.
    I also was glad i found out early because it made bubba seem more real as we named her in itero and i could visualise lifw with a little girl. I liked it too because i felt that if, god forbid something terrible happened and we never got to take her home, that we had acknowledged her little life by naming her and treating her as an individual real person even though she hadnt arrived yet iykwim.
    Second time around i was happy to find out early again because i had no regrets about it the first time. I also wanted another girl and figured if it was a boy (which we are getting :-) ) I thought if i was going to be disappointed, i woukd rather deal with it early on, than during the birth. To be honest i was "disappointed" for about 2 hours and realised it was only because i didnt feel as confident about raising a boy, because im not one.
    I figure for me, after the birth, just getting a real live baby to hold is enough of a surprise regardless of gender.
    The practical stuff like clothes etc didnt really matter to me as I like yellows and grays and jungle themed stuff so the stuff i liked and bought would have suited either gender.
    I appreciate all the responses as its been interesting for me to hear everyone's different experiences and perspectives so thanks OP and all the other ladies xx

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  4. #23
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    With my first I was not wanting to know, but DF desperately did. I admit, I experienced gender disappointment when we found out we were having a daughter as I’d seen myself as a “mum of boys”... I’m glad I got over it early (NIPT @ around 13weeks-ish) and got excited about it.
    We kept it our secret from everyone until about 36weeks when we did a gender reveal - we wanted them all to be happy for a baby, not a gender.

    Next round DF desperately wants to know again... and this time I really don’t want to as my DD is my everything and whichever comes next will just be another wonderful blessing.
    Second time round, IF I cave, we won’t tell anyone at all. And DF can’t keep a secret so it’s both or nothing!

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  6. #24
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    i can’t imagine not finding out. it’s still a surprise when you find out, doesn’t have to be at the same time as when baby is being born. i find it helps me bond more knowing what’s in there and of course you can plan better, start choosing names etc. there’s just no way i could hold off knowing for 9 months.

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  8. #25
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    Oh and if you wanted, you could always find out but not tell eveyone else until after bubba is here. That way you get to surprise everyone else. I love surprising people more than I like surprises for myself. :-)

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  10. #26
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    Sincere thanks to all who have shared! It’s so interesting to hear of different people’s experiences. I can definitely see the positives for finding out or having a surprise. I’ll see how I’m feeling closer to the anatomy scan

  11. #27
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    I didn’t find out with my first (a boy), but DID find out with my second (a girl). I didn’t honestly care what gender DD was going to be but I just really wanted to know. I don’t regret finding out, I don’t feel like it made her arrival any less special. It’s still a huge surprise seeing what they look like!

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    Oh and if you wanted, you could always find out but not tell eveyone else until after bubba is here. That way you get to surprise everyone else. I love surprising people more than I like surprises for myself. :-)
    This is a good idea too. My sister had baby #4 on Friday night just gone and I’ll admit that it was so exciting to find out after the birth. She texted first thing Saturday morning with a pic and her name and it was very special finding out then.

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  15. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    Oh and if you wanted, you could always find out but not tell eveyone else until after bubba is here. That way you get to surprise everyone else. I love surprising people more than I like surprises for myself. :-)
    This is what I did with DD. Not even their father knew until she was born. I had a locked cupboard that I put all her pink clothes in until delivery lol

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