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  1. #1
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    Default I just can't take this breastfeeding anymore!

    DS is 16 months old and breastfeeding for a solid hour every morning starting between 5 and 6 am. This has been going on for a few months I suppose. Maybe not. Maybe it just feels like months. Anyhow, I am done!

    I was never comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding before birth and while I'm super grateful that I've been able to breastfeed my baby for all it's baby-health and bonding benefits (I probably have gained more from BF than I give it credit for), I have just reached my limit. I feel like it's so demanding on my body. I'm underweight. I'm exhausted and sleep deprived. I have no capacity for physical intimacy with my husband. I'm so done I want to cry.

    I don't know if I even have any questions. I just feel like I don't know how to kick these last couple of feeds (this marathon in the morning and usually one or two in the afternoon/evening). Or how to find the energy. Breastfeeding might be exhausting, but so is getting up at 5 am with a crying toddler. I don't want to express because that's just as physically taxing and anyway I don't know if I could. I don't see any point in trying to offer cow's milk, and anyway, I don't think it would help. My baby eats 5 times a day so I don't think he's hungry. He's got water by his bed and he drinks when he's thirsty. My husband wants to be helpful but he doesn't know what to do, and then, honestly, I can't stand him when he's tired. This is probably some kind of stage, it's definitely temporary but it feels endless and I just want a breeeeeaaaak. Arg.

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    Default I just can't take this breastfeeding anymore!

    Yeah I remember vividly I completely hit breaking point with breastfeeding with both my dds around the 15 month mark.
    I found they got more demanding with feeds are opposed to a nice tapering off lol.

    No advice here, I weaned them cold turkey at 2 years.

    But the 15-16 month mark sucked for both. I hated it but I didn’t stop, I can’t say it got better with the demanding or how often, but for some reason I stuck it out and it seemed a little easier after that point lol

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    Well done you!! That’s a phenomenal effort to date.

    I think it might be a bit of a developmental stage as your ds is certainly not sounding like he’s hungry or thirsty. I had extended breastfed toddlers, but my goodness by the 18mth mark I felt the same way as you, underweight, sleep deprived etc.
    I also didn’t offer cow’s milk (didn’t see the point) and the feeds were really just comfort feeds from then on.

    I didn’t wean, but by 2-2.5 yrs mine weaned themselves as by then they were more active/on the move, eating and playing more.

    ((Hugs)) I hope things settle for you soon and you’re able to get quality sleep sooner rather than later.

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    Hi i just wanted to tell you I know how you feel xx I loved being able to breastfeed my daughter and felt lucky it worked easily for me. She is 13 months old now and its getting harder. 13 months is a long time to have sore boobies and as she's aged she's gotten rougher iykwim. She also likes to squeeze the other nipple while she feeds and gets cranky and fussy if i try to stop her and that just makes the feed last longer. She sounds like your bubba in that she's not hungry or thirsty, eats more than me! And guzzles water all day. When she's with dad and im not in sight she happily goes without boob all day! She also doesnt like cows milk and wont drink it bit she likes water..expressing is more effort for me than actually breatfeeding and she wont drink it from a bottle anyway coz its not boob!
    I also found out I am pregnant again 3 months ago and when I had morning sickness and still feeding her i felt like i was wasting away and dying!!! I was trying to feed her, myself and a foetus and it was exhausting! I cried a bit a few times when feeding her and id never felt that way about it before.
    Anyway that prompted me to google a few things and ask mummy friends for help. I javent stopped breastfeeding necause I like her to get breastmilk for as long as she chooses but I just had to stop the constant suckling for comforts sake as it was making me upset and she wasnt even drinking much, just using my boobs like a smorgasboard grazing table! And basically just playing with my chest. So ive mostly manahed to get it down to 2 feeds a day, before morning nap and before bedtime which im happy with. Some of the things i read and was told that helped were:
    -Cover up, e.g. waear a bra, high necked top, dont undress in front of her. Basically hide the sight of your boobs and nipples as much as possible as seeing them is a trigger. If she sees if feels them, she's like "oh boob! Yeah i remember boob! Gimme gimme!"

    -Have a set feeding place. Dont feed anywhere other than that place. I only feed her in her bedroom on her matress, because i find a feed helps her sleep and im more than willing to feed her for the sake of getting her to sleep quicker and easier.
    -Distract her. If she's clawing at me for a feed, we go somewhere else and play with a toy or read a book or go from inside to outside or vice versa. Snacks and food distract her too. And offer her water instead in case she is actually thirsty.
    -I try not to hold her in my lap facing me or in yhe same sitting position i feed her in as this also triggers her to think its boobs time. I stand her in my lap or hold her above my chest
    -First thing when she sees me in morning i pit her in high chair and feed her breakfast. No more booby straight upon waking. So i try to stall her and change up the routine we used to have.


    It took a few days and sometimes im not consistent and give in e.g. if we are out and it's normal morning nap time, when she had a cold and was miserable i fed her in demand for comfort and health benefits for a few days until she got better. Amd sometimes because im too exhausted and pregnant so i give in. But in general it has made it much better. She seemsto have gotten the idea that there are now certain times she has booby and when i say "no booby" and distract her it generally works.

    I felt I had to do this because in 4 months I'll be breastfeeding a newborn and i wanted to feed him like i did for her.

    Lol i cant believe my poor boobies are gonna be breastfeeding for what will amount to about 4 years in a row though! So i do totally understand the not being able to take it anymore...

    You've done really well so far and done it a lot longer than many other ladies so be proud for persiting even though it gets harder and less fun imo the longer you do it.

    I hope maybe some of these ideas work for you too.

    You could also call the Australian Breast Feeding Assosciation helpline. They're great, staffed by real mum volunteers and they might have some suggestions too.

    Good luck xx
    Last edited by gorgeousgeorge; 02-03-2019 at 20:31.

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    Oh and she will feed forever if i let her so i let her have a decent drink from both boobs, not sure how long, maybe 10 mins each side? But once she starts wanting to constantly chop and change boobs or stops to look around or start babbling to me etc... i figure she's had enough to drink and is now just comfort suckling, so i take her off the boob. She fusses for about 30 seconds then i lie her down and say good night/its nap time. I have to pat her or sing or do other things to help get her to sleep but I dont let her back on the boob once i figure she's actually had a proper drink. I think this has taught her to drink up while she can at the start of a feed and not muck around so much. And sometimes after about 20 mins im like, thats gotta be enough so I stop even if it upsets her. She gets over it very quickly now so im sure half the time she wasnt even still drinking!
    Last edited by gorgeousgeorge; 02-03-2019 at 20:40.

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    Thank you so much! It's so good to realise I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way. Great tips too @gorgeousgeorge

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    Little Miss Sunshine (03-03-2019)

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    Default I just can't take this breastfeeding anymore!

    I was where you were, probably around the same age too. I was so ready to stop. But my DD is such a boobie monster I found it so hard to say no. As it was, every time I sat on the couch appeared to be an invitation to feed. It felt like some days she was feeding more than a newborn. Add in a run of milk blebs, teeth cutting etc and it was just a really **** time.

    Fast forward to now, we are 21m and still BF. On my days at home with DD we still feed 4-6 times a day (first wake up, before nap, post nap, pre dinner, before bed and whenever else). On days she’s at daycare or I’m at work though she will easily go with only 1-2 feeds a day. I regularly feed to sleep for nap time but bedtime I feed her then DH does teeth and stories and puts her to bed. I was finding when I was feeding to sleep it was taking for-****ing-ever. I will still occasionally feed her to sleep if she’s sick or we need that reconnection (or if DH is away). I am back to enjoying it again, although I do feel that now I’m back to work 3 days a week (and shift work too) she’s starting to show signs of weaning. I’m not rushing her though. I love that I can provide her comfort and nourishment in times when she needs it. Just the other week she had a vomiting bug. Nothing was staying down, not even water... enter the breastfeed and it was the only thing she kept down for 24 hrs.

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    Little Miss Sunshine (03-03-2019)

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    Default I just can't take this breastfeeding anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by MLadyEm View Post
    I was where you were, probably around the same age too. I was so ready to stop. But my DD is such a boobie monster I found it so hard to say no. As it was, every time I sat on the couch appeared to be an invitation to feed. It felt like some days she was feeding more than a newborn. Add in a run of milk blebs, teeth cutting etc and it was just a really **** time.

    Fast forward to now, we are 21m and still BF. On my days at home with DD we still feed 4-6 times a day (first wake up, before nap, post nap, pre dinner, before bed and whenever else). On days she’s at daycare or I’m at work though she will easily go with only 1-2 feeds a day. I regularly feed to sleep for nap time but bedtime I feed her then DH does teeth and stories and puts her to bed. I was finding when I was feeding to sleep it was taking for-****ing-ever. I will still occasionally feed her to sleep if she’s sick or we need that reconnection (or if DH is away). I am back to enjoying it again, although I do feel that now I’m back to work 3 days a week (and shift work too) she’s starting to show signs of weaning. I’m not rushing her though. I love that I can provide her comfort and nourishment in times when she needs it. Just the other week she had a vomiting bug. Nothing was staying down, not even water... enter the breastfeed and it was the only thing she kept down for 24 hrs.
    As much as I hated breastfeeding at times I was ever so grateful when they were sick or miserable! It was such an easy fix. I had very much a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding, I had never planned on feeding past 6 months, let alone for 2 years, but it was just so easy and good for them but at the same time I felt so trapped and judged by others especially once I hit the 1 year mark- mind you the judgement didn’t seem as bad with dd2, either I no longer cared or the fact I had already been through it with dd1 meant people mostly let it be. Biting phases, the inability to sit down without a request for boobs and then stuck there on the couch feeding for ages was really draining. With dd2 I felt I should give her as long as dd1, as long as she still wanted it (and she sure did!).

    Like you @MLadyEm working part time shift work meant there was never a schedule as such and they never missed it when I wasn’t around, but they were such booby monsters that wanted it all time when I was home. As an aside I can’t believe your dd is 21 months already lol!

    I look back on those days fondly now. But I also remember the joy and the freedom I felt when I wore my first proper bra and a jumper for the first time in 5 years! It was a blessing- especially when sick- but a curse at the same time as I completely over it at times, underweight and felt it would never end. But it always does....
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 03-03-2019 at 21:26.


 

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