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  1. #1
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    Default Have you been here, done this?

    My LO is 3 months and sleeps well at night ( she sleeps on me from 7, then at about 830 I move her too my mattress and we co-sleep to 11, when hubby comes to bed we move her to her bassinet after a nappy change/feed). She then sleeps til about 4, wakes for a quick feed and straight back down in the bassinet, before sleeping til 7/7:30.

    However during the day she will only nap on me. I put her in the bassinet and her eyes snap open and the crying starts. I do not want to CIO, it’s too painful for me, but was wondering if she’ll grow out of this eventually? I always give her opportunities to go to sleep on her bassinet (put her down drowsy but awake) but if she cries I pick her up. For those with older children- what were your experiences?
    I should say, when she first came home she wouldn’t sleep in the bassinet at all, so she has become
    More independent in her sleeping.

  2. #2
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    Imo only 3 months old is waaay to early to CIO and i personally m against this method. Yes she will change i promise but it will take a while. My daughter started just sleeping in her own bed through the night from 7pm to 6am when she was 11 months old. Not because of anything I did or didnt do but just because she was ready of her own accord. I guess if you are able, just hold her as much as you can (might be unrealistic or impossible for. you but i just held her and relaxed watched tv in bed or read a book) She's only 90 days old. She just wants mummy cuddles and to feel warm human arms and smell mummy while she sleeps. My midwives told me not to even try "sleep training" until at least 6 months. Id just enjoy the snuggly times as much as I could, they dont last long. You wont do her any harm by cuddling her and holding her as much as you can at 3 months old. She's still a newborn baby and the best advice midwives gave me is "you cant spoil a newborn baby". (Sorry I'm a big softie and i know others might have different views to mine.) But yes, she will change so cuddle her while you can. I have no regrets about cuddling my bubba when she was that little and it didnt "ruin" her ability to eventually learn to settle and sleep independently when she was old enough to be ready to do this. Please pick her up when she cries as she is only little and needs to learn that mummy is there when she wants her at this stage, much more than she needs to learn how to sleep on her own. But that's just my opinion given with the best of intentions.

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    Thanks @gorgeousgeorge. That is what I am doing at the moment. I can not leave her lying there when she cries and I’m hoping she’ll move to her own bed when she’s ready and developmentally able to, without me needing to impose strict routines. But the mummy doubt (and six million mummy blogs advocating an EASY routine... what even is drowsy but awake. If I put my drowsy little one down she goes from drowsy to sad and angry so quickly!) creeps in and I worry I’m stunting her.

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  5. #4
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    Your baby sounds like a good sleeper to me. I had my kids both in my room till 1.

    But set up cot from 6 months to get them use to sleeping in cot for day sleeps.

    Try putting bbassinet really close to your bed so baby sees you. This worked for me. Also try lullaby music or a toy with a tune.

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    It sounds like you are doing a beautiful job with her and really responding to her needs, which will set you up with a lovely trusting relationship. She sounds like she's doing wonderfully overnight, so she will definitely get there with her naps.

    Some lovely advice above. One more thing I thought of is that you really feel there's s you need to be doing when she's napping, I found an ergobaby carrier to be an absolute saviour in those situations. Bub could still sleep on me, but I could potter around and do some things at the same time. Of course, it depends if your baby likes the carrier, so it's not a complete guarantee. But mine loved it and we found it really worked keep me sane at times when I started to get frustrated about not having a moment to do anything while bub napped.

    Good luck x

  7. #6
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    Yep i agree her nightime sleeping sounds completely normal and really good. At 3 months old, they cant go for more than 5 or so hours without getting hungry coz their tummys are only tiny.
    Uuurgh mummy blogs and people that sell "sleep solutions" are full of BS imo. If there was a "solution" someone would have figured it out by now and we'd all know about it. And it makes me angry that they claim to want to "help" but only if you pay them money. They can F right off then.
    When my bubba was that little i always fed her right to sleep. Usually lying down beside her. She slept for so much longer nd settled so much better and sometimes i could sneak away if i wanted to and do stuff but it was also a lovely excuse to force myself to have a rest and a nap.
    I would also try to have a preprepared lunch or snacks that I could eat one handed so I could eat lunch or morning and arvo tea whilst holding her while she napped during the day. I also tried the baby carrier a few times but it was a bit hard in my back to do things like washing and too noisy to do things like the dishes.
    I also just try to think of my bubba as being a baby but also just being kinda similar to an adult human iykwim, so im 38 and i find it hard to sleep in an empty bed when my dh is away. Lol its so much nicer to sleep with a warm body next to you. Id always prefer to sleep next to someone rather than alone. When i was single i had 4 cats and even just having them sleep snuggled up to me made it easier to fall asleep rather than being alone. I also just sleep when im tired. If i try to force myself to go to sleep because its a certain time, it doesnt work. I just end up laying there wide awake. So my "schedule" is i sleep when im tired and like a normal human being this varies daily. Sometimes i need an arvo nap, sometimes i dont. Sometimes im tired at 9pm, sometimes im not tired until 1am. Depends on what time i wake up, how much stuff ive done during the day, blah blah etc etc. Babies are a bit like that too. If you expect them to sleep regimented to a by the hour schedule you are just pushing sh-it uphill.
    At 6 months old my daughter would have a nap at about 10am-12pm then an arvo nap about 2-3pm. Some days she skipped morning or arvo. I dunno why, she just didnt want one.
    Then at about 8 months old she didnt want the arvo nap anymore. I tried to put her down for like 5 days in a row and she wouldnt sleep and then I realises she was just done with arvo naps. Stupid me took a week to figure that out.
    From 11-12 months she had a mid morning nap from 12-2.
    Now at 13 months she has a morning nap from 10-11am amd some days she doesnt have a nap at all but gets tired about 2 hours earlier than normal bedtime on those days.
    Some days she just zonks out on her own, some days i have to sing or pat her back and sit with her until she's asleep, some days i have to lie down and feed her and sneak away.
    They change every few months and it seems like "whats wrong?" "Why isnt this working?" But its coz theyve changed and you havent realised it yet.
    I try not to worry about it and go with the flow. If she's yawning, cranky and nothing is making her happy, falling over, getting ckumsy, rubbing her eyes. She's tired-doesnt matter what time it is, i help her to sleep. If shes wide awake and happy an energetic, doesnt matter if that's when she "normally" naps- just that today she isnt tired. Dunno why- doesnt matter why.
    If she was waking up every hour all night or she wasn't sleeping at all no matter what you did during the day, if it was driving you crazy and making you depressed, if you were feeling dispair and like i cant live like this anymore, thwn i would be concerned and worried. But if you're happy and ok with how you care for your baby, then dont worry about what others think or say or do. If it works for you, then it's what's right for you and your baby.
    I only moved my bubba out of our bed at night at 11 months because she was too big, she was waking up everytime one of us moved and after 11 months i felt both myself and her needed and would get better sleep on our own, so thats when I decided to change. Before that i was happy with co sleeping. Once i wasnt happy with it and thought it would be better for her thats when I changed. Not because a book or a blog or a salesperson told me a specific age or time to do it. And the ages they give for things are just averages. Nobody becomes a completely different person on a specific date ir at a specific age to the day or week or even month. We all mature differently and change on our own timetables that often we cant even explain to ourselves. I see a lot of my friend saying oh they are 6 months old today so now they have to be doing x, y ,z like to the exact day, which i think is crazy. Whatever ways your baby changes, will usually start to happen of their own accord and take a few weeks at least to settle in and become regular...and then they change again Anyways sorry for the novel, just wanted to share my perspective and opinion. I agree, sounds to me like your mummying really well xx Your daughter is a lucky little lady.


 

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