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  1. #31
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    So I'm not sure if I'm using this as a diary or for support or both.

    Since last entry dd1 did not have a room search as her hiding food is only going to show up in her obs anyway. They decided at about 6 weeks admission that she was ready physically to go home because she was mg of her minimum safe goal weight. I disagreed but they insisted she should be ready so scheduled discharge for 4 days later. That day turns up and loe and behold she lost 1.5kg. Discharge denied. I was like the cat that got the cream. I was right they were wrong.

    Ok fast forward to today. I had been asking for an appointment with the psychiatrist and finally got one after kicking up a stink saying no one is listening to me. So we are now at 7 weeks and 5 has since admission. I finally had a psychiatrist appt. He spent 45min with her. 5 minutes with me afterwards. She doesn't have a problem that requires medicating. Her problem is more a family relationship issue. F u. I have videos of her bawling her eyes out not wanting to go to school. I have video of her saying things that she outright denied. I have voice recordings of her saying things, that she scoffed at and said I was lying about her saying those things. I never got a chance to mention any of this because I froze and forgot half the stuff. I feel like because I can't articulate myself properly at the time I'm not being heard.

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  3. #32
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    Oh wow! I feel that inpatient teams are all for early discharge (mostly too early) in the current day due to fears of institutionalisation. Many, many times we said not she's not ready, we are not ready...to be told no she's fine to go home . However, my SDD was a bit older.

    Her psychiatrist...how awful, especially when you have been requesting an appointment. He sounds very dismissive! Don't they realise that the best chance of recovery includes the entire family being supported! We had appointments with SDD and her psychiatrist...we were in the entire appointment with her...Obviously she gave consent for this to happen.

    If he is not going to listen I wonder if you write a letter explaining things you didn't get to say(we did that a couple of times) and got a letter back acknowledging that the letter had been read by him. I must say that was good (I didn't like a lot of what he said though, but this was good).

    Thinking of you!

  4. #33
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    Thanks. That is good advice to write it down and give to them. Shortly after writing this I stopped at the nurses station to tell them I can't make ward rounds because of other related appointments. I pretty much broke down and said I came in for nothing. That I'm done with trying. That I'm just done and can't do it anymore. I'm sick of dd1 gas lighting me and making me feel line I'm making all this up. I've told them that months ago I started having to record interactions with her because she was starting to make me believe none of it was happening.

    The duty nurse said she's going to talk to the "team" to address the fact I didn't really get Chance to say any of this with the psychiatrist and the distress I've been feeling because of not being heard.

  5. #34
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    Agree with pp about writing it all down. Maybe get a notebook and just add as you think of anything.

    I'm sorry you aren't being heard. Unfortunately it seems all too common these days, especially in relation to mental health and child/parent experiences. It's great the nurse is advocating for you though.

    How are things with your MIL now?

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheWarrior View Post
    Agree with pp about writing it all down. Maybe get a notebook and just add as you think of anything.

    I'm sorry you aren't being heard. Unfortunately it seems all too common these days, especially in relation to mental health and child/parent experiences. It's great the nurse is advocating for you though.

    How are things with your MIL now?
    Mil finally seems onboard with everything now. She must lost her mum recently so for now it seems like that brought a whole new perspective.

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  8. #36
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    What about a clinical psychologist if the psychiatrist can't help?

  9. #37
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    Dd1 got sent home 2 days ago. They said she had been hovering around her goal weight for long enough and maintained that weight for long enough... Pffffttttt what a few hours? Anyway dh picked her up because I couldn't. Not just because I was working but because I just could not do it. I shut down to it. I have taken her to the day program they want her to go to and following meal plans etc but aside from that I've had to shut myself off to her. my "distress" at "not being heard" has definitely been noted down at the hospital. I honestly think they have labelled me as overbearing. Dd1 was being mean and said they even agreed with her that I'm overbearing so when ward rounds came around I even said that she can be really nasty and make stuff up and used that as an example. The Dr didn't deny it and said she used that as a way of trying to knock the wall down and befriend dd1 to gain trust.

    So anyway dd1 is home. She is doing her best to not follow the meal plan. I'm encouraging her to eat but I'm almost putting money on the fact that she will have dropped enough weight to land back in hospital.

    As for clinical psychologist? I doubt it. We have seen psychologists, counsellors etc and she convinces them all in making everything up or she won't engage and they tell me I'm wasting my time and money because she doesn't see a problem.

    Dh has said if she goes back to hospital then he doesn't think he can go up there again. I have already said I'm struggling enough to be anything other than the supplier of food and encourager to eat.

    It's like they are playing mind games to see how far they can push us. To see how much it takes to break us so they can do us up into a pile and tell us it's all fixed. Like a china case, you can break it and glue it back together but the scars are always going to be there and it's never gonna be the way it should ever again.

  10. #38
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    Big hugs ❤️

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  12. #39
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    Just wondering how your DD is going @DesperatelySeekingSleep ?

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  14. #40
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    She is in and out of hospital still. She's still in denial about having an eating disorder.

    Today I received an asd assessment update in the mail. It's the first part of assessment for asd. All criteria but 1 was met. Overall it looks like she meets criteria to get diagnosed. Not sure how I feel about it now though. On one hand she gets more help but on the other I wonder if the diagnosis will make things harder long term.

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