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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD? Sensitive subject, suspecting sibling has different father

    I have a hypothetical question about a real life situation that I’d love some perspective on. This is not me, but someone close to me.

    Picture this is you:

    You have one sibling. You have suspected for a long time that you and your sibling have a different biological father, though you were both raised by the same father. You are confident you are your dad’s biological child as there is a strong resemblance. Your sibling bears no resemblance to their ‘father’. Your mother has a known history of infidelity, so it would not be an outrageous stretch to consider the possibility.

    Do you think you would ever bring up the subject with your mother? Or talk to your sibling about it? Or would you find it better for everyone if you just kept the suspicion to yourself?

    Note that your biological father has been deceased for over 20 years, so bringing up the subject would not be problematic for him as he’s no longer around.

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    Unless the sibling mentioned it, I think I would just stay quiet. If they don’t suspect, or possibly don’t want to know, I wouldn’t upend their world over a suspicion. Having said that, if my mum was ill or dying, I may ask her so that if there were future health issues for sibling, they could know the truth if a genetic link could help them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Californication View Post
    Unless the sibling mentioned it, I think I would just stay quiet. If they don’t suspect, or possibly don’t want to know, I wouldn’t upend their world over a suspicion. Having said that, if my mum was ill or dying, I may ask her so that if there were future health issues for sibling, they could know the truth if a genetic link could help them.
    This. Possible medical reasons aside, what would be gained from saying anything, especially something based on suspicion (rather than if there was actual proof). Particularly if it's not an issue that has been raised by the other concerned parties. Base on the information in the original post, it seems like nothing would be gained but a hell of a lot to lose. Personally I think in this situation, the person with the suspicion needs to just leave it be.

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    Sometimes these situations come up, and the immediate family seem to have a 'black sheep'. someone who just looks different to the siblings, but when a bunch of cousins or aunts and uncles are included, there are more similarities to be found. My sister looks totally different to me, but I look more like our fathers side and she looks more like our mothers side. I would tend to keep my mouth shut. marie.

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    I'd be dying to know but I definitely wouldnt say anything. I think it would be important to consider the motives of wanting to say anything. What is the goal?
    If the person needed a kidney, then yes, I'd bring it up.
    These days 'secrets' never stay secrets anymore. All it takes is one DNA swab to Ancestry.com and all family skeletons leap out of the closet!!

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    I wouldn’t say a thing. Genetics are over rated. I’ve got two children with the same genetic dad and they both couldn’t look anymore different, one has olive skin, dark straight hair brown eyes, the other has fair skin, curly blonde hair and blue eyes.

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    Ignorance is bliss. I know someone who had a similar dilemma and they wish they had stayed blissfully unaware

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    Quote Originally Posted by stacey10 View Post
    I wouldn’t say a thing. Genetics are over rated. I’ve got two children with the same genetic dad and they both couldn’t look anymore different, one has olive skin, dark straight hair brown eyes, the other has fair skin, curly blonde hair and blue eyes.
    Yep this is my brother and I. Definately same dad but just different!

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    I would if I was the sibling who thought I had a different father because it would be my story and my history. But not if I was the one who suspected their sibling had a different father - not my story.

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    One of my children has a different biological father. My husband knows (I’m not a cheater, we met when I was pregnant) and my son knows but none of his siblings know and we won’t tell them. We figure it’s up to our son to decide who he tells and when.
    There is a possibility this might be the case? If there is a different dad, perhaps the sibling knows but doesn’t want to share?

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