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  1. #41
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    Default Short shorts.

    We were at Southbank and a young woman was wearing those shorts with her bum cheeks fully showing, and all four of my girls shrieked “you can see that lady’s bum, Mum”!

    They were all a bit .

    So, I can’t see short shorts making an appearance in my house anytime soon.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I would argue that anyone chooses clothes because they like how they look in them and they are comfortable wearing them. Where that line is drawn is up to the individual. I wear bum shorts to the gym (my bum is covered, but the shorts are very short), because I feel claustrophobic in clothing when I start to sweat. It has nothing to do with being modest or not. It's about my comfort levels and nothing else.

    I would hate to teach my teenagers that unless a female is covering their skin they aren't being modest.
    I see so many young girls constantly adjusting their clothing in public, holding skirts down or placing items in front of their breasts because they obviously feel too exposed in what they are wearing - to me that's not comfortable, and certainly not practical like your example of comfort for exercise.

    In this context I have used the word modest being related to having enough material to adequately cover your body for the setting you are in. I expect to see far more flesh at the beach than I do in a shopping centre or even a school environment. There is nothing wrong with showing off your body at an appropriate time and place, but I want my daughters (and sons if I have any) to know there's far more to being attractive than the amount of skin someone shows.

    My eldest daughter is learning about protective behaviours as part of a school program and it confuses her when she can see parts of people's bums out in public when she's learning this is a part of her body which should only be shown to her safe circle as needed.

    I hope this helps to clarify some points in my earlier post which was written in a bit of a rush. I think this is one of those topics where people sit very strongly on one side or the other, and it would be very difficult to convince someone to change their opinion when both sides have valid points.

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  5. #43
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    I also wonder about people wearing any item of clothing (men & woman, any age) not because it actually makes them feel good themselves, but because others look at them & like what they see, and the attention makes them feel good....
    And is that a right reason for it...

    Obviously everyone is different, I just can’t imagine, at my age now, personally wearing shorts so short my cheeks were showing, because that made ME feel good.

    I know as a teenager I would wear certain clothes at times, because I often liked the attention from wearing it, not just because it made me feel good.

    I guess a good question to ask my future teenagers would be, “would you feel just as good wearing XYZ item, indoors at home alone, as you would outside with others/in public”

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  7. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calstar View Post
    I also wonder about people wearing any item of clothing (men & woman, any age) not because it actually makes them feel good themselves, but because others look at them & like what they see, and the attention makes them feel good....
    And is that a right reason for it...

    Obviously everyone is different, I just can’t imagine, at my age now, personally wearing shorts so short my cheeks were showing, because that made ME feel good.

    I know as a teenager I would wear certain clothes at times, because I often liked the attention from wearing it, not just because it made me feel good.

    I guess a good question to ask my future teenagers would be, “would you feel just as good wearing XYZ item, indoors at home alone, as you would outside with others/in public”
    all of this!

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  9. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by bubbletrouble View Post
    I see so many young girls constantly adjusting their clothing in public, holding skirts down or placing items in front of their breasts because they obviously feel too exposed in what they are wearing - to me that's not comfortable, and certainly not practical like your example of comfort for exercise.

    In this context I have used the word modest being related to having enough material to adequately cover your body for the setting you are in. I expect to see far more flesh at the beach than I do in a shopping centre or even a school environment. There is nothing wrong with showing off your body at an appropriate time and place, but I want my daughters (and sons if I have any) to know there's far more to being attractive than the amount of skin someone shows.

    My eldest daughter is learning about protective behaviours as part of a school program and it confuses her when she can see parts of people's bums out in public when she's learning this is a part of her body which should only be shown to her safe circle as needed.

    I hope this helps to clarify some points in my earlier post which was written in a bit of a rush. I think this is one of those topics where people sit very strongly on one side or the other, and it would be very difficult to convince someone to change their opinion when both sides have valid points.
    I taught my children about wearing clothes that are comfortable rather than teaching them to be modest. It's something that sits better with me. No one wears bum hanging out shorts in my house to date, but I'm not going to ban them either. There are bigger fish to fry in a teenager's life. I find it's so much easier to ask them if the clothes they are wearing are comfortable, get them to move, bend, squat etc. to ascertain if they'll have to fiddle with their clothes all day, or if they tend to stay put eliminates the excessive skin exposure clothes when they realise they'll be annoyed by it all the time, over telling them they aren't going out looking like that. This means that sometimes they wear clothes I'm not a fan of, but it's honestly not worth the argument.

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  11. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calstar View Post
    I’m interested to know, mums who said they don’t see an issue/people should be able to wear what they’re happy & comfortable in.

    If your teenage daughter wanted to go out with in short shorts/cheeks showing, would you be ok with it?
    Bigger things to fight about than clothes.

    It doesn't matter what teenage girls wear they get looks from dirty middle aged men and younger men (definitely older than teens).

    I was at the shops with DD14 this week and couple of males looked her up and down in the most obvious of ways. It was gross to be honest. She was wearing knee length denim shorts and boys t-shirts (you could just see her shape).

    ETA it really annoys me that it is mostly teenage girls that are brought up in these conversations. Sure there is the odd comment about women but it's mostly teenage girls and covering themselves and being 'modest'.....as a Mum of teenage girls I find it sad.
    Last edited by PomPoms; 08-12-2018 at 11:51.

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  13. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by PomPoms View Post
    Bigger things to fight about than clothes.

    It doesn't matter what teenage girls wear they get looks from dirty middle aged men and younger men (definitely older than teens).

    I was at the shops with DD14 this week and couple of males looked her up and down in the most obvious of ways. It was gross to be honest. She was wearing knee length denim shorts and boys t-shirts (you could just see her shape).

    ETA it really annoys me that it is mostly teenage girls that are brought up in these conversations. Sure there is the odd comment about women but it's mostly teenage girls and covering themselves and being 'modest'.....as a Mum of teenage girls I find it sad.
    Agreed. When it was popular for boys to wear pants below their bum no one went in about them being modest. It was just laughed at how horrible a fashion it was and how people would be glad when it was over. I don't recall a single person claiming that they wouldn't allow their son to wear clothes like that because they don't want them drawing attention from women, or thinking they need to dress like that to get attention. I think this is a big reason why I'm so relaxed about clothes. I hate the double standard. A teen in our circle has been taught by her parents that she can't wear crop tops (all the rage) because her stomach is a private part and no one should see her belly button...but her brother runs around shirtless all the time.

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  15. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    My 14 year old DD has a few pairs like that this season from Supre. She is a size 6 though so it's not too offensive. I would be arrested for public indecency wearing anything that short - the world doesn't need to get an unobstructed view of my cellulite ridden thighs and butt.
    So because your 14 year old is skinny it's OK for her to be walking around with her *** hanging out?

  16. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by CanadianKangaroo View Post
    So because your 14 year old is skinny it's OK for her to be walking around with her *** hanging out?
    Skinny- one inch of butt cheek hanging out.

    Larger sized- 10 inches of butt cheek hanging out.

    And yes skinny people can pull off clothes larger people can’t. Likewise kids can pull off clothes adults can’t. And this is a child you’re talking about.

    I’m larger sized and body confident. I have no issue with exposing my body. But I want to look good and short shorts would not look good.

    If my girls want to wear them I would probably have issues with sun exposure rather than modesty.

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  18. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by CanadianKangaroo View Post
    So because your 14 year old is skinny it's OK for her to be walking around with her *** hanging out?
    No. Just that it would look a hell of a lot worse if she wasn't.


 

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