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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2018

    Default Feel so alone no emotional support

    Hi, I’m not sure if I am depressed or if it’s just my situation making me feel down. Since 2015 we have had a premature baby, lost a baby at 17 weeks, our first son had 3 lots of neurosurgery and regular MRIs and my MIL had cancer. She was in remission but now needs more chemo. We’ve had lots of financial stresses also. Now we have 3 kids 4, 2 and 10months. I’ve posted before after my MIL (who I normally get along with) hounded me about not having enough sex with my partner and I should put $300,000 into his house and that she wouldn’t want to ‘come home to this’ (it was a bad stage of sleeping for all of our kids at that point). When my partner gets home the kids are ALWAYS fed and bathed so he doesn’t have to do a lot! Over the time I’ve been with my partner he has been quite critical of me and disregards my feelings sometimes. I told him I’ve lost feelings for him and all he said was ‘I don’t hate you’! I’ve had enough and had been talking to my Mum about it and today she just sighed and said ‘ughh this is getting old’!! I’m the past she listened a bit but now she just ignores me so now I feel I have no one to speak to. We had a fight and she said I’ve been a ***** since I was 2 and I’m a spoilt brat (if you knew me you would know that I’ve worked hard for everything that I have). She also said I need to sacrifice for the kids (I don’t do anything for myself and have gone back to work 3 days a week so we can do things). I just feel so alone or am I being sensitive? TIA

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    I’m sorry you’re feeling down and depressed. Maybe you should go chat to your GP and get a referral to a psychologist before it gets worse. The fact that you’re noticing your feelings is great and you’ve certainly been through a lot so talking to someone will be good.
    A few things though, your sex life is really none of your MIL business. Are you and your partner living together? You have children together isn’t “his” house also yours? Like the $300000 is also his.
    If you’ve lost feeling for him why are you still with him? Can things be worked on so you get that spark back?
    What your mum said I’m sure she regrets it and maybe it was just said in the heat of the moment.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I agree my mum has also said hurtful things. It is difficult and definitely affects relationships but also I think we do have to be forgiving. It's easy to say the wrong thing and perhaps she has her own challenges going on, too.
    It does sound like you've had a lot going on! Maybe seeing a counsellor would be helpful, a non judgemental ear to vent to. Your MIL is crossing serious boundaries there. Would your hubby speak to her on your behalf? It also sounds like you & hubby might need alone time to reconnect, it can be very hard on a relationship, having young children around all the time.
    All the best x


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