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  1. #21
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    yeah I have to admit I read the "you should be able to fix this" statement and my immediate thought was ... no way. It takes 2 people to fix a relationship, and if he is essentially saying that you are the only one who has done anything wrong, that you have broken up your family etc - he is not taking any responsibility for his part in your breakdown, nor willing to do any work to make it better.

    Sorry hun, there is no way I would be going back into that.


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    SuperGranny (29-11-2018)

  3. #22
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    I thought this article might be helpful


    https://edition.cnn.com/2018/11/23/h...ner/index.html

  4. #23
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    Run

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    I'm not one to comment on these sorts of situations.

    I would run.

    If he has shown no signs of changing on his part to mae this marriage work, why should you go back?

    It's clear the marriage won't change. Both parties need to show they want to change or make an effort to change their behaviour for it to work.

    If you want to stay, think careful about it. I would stay seperate until you are absolutely sure you want to go back or not.

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    He sounds like a manipulative controlling narcissist, run !

  7. #26
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    I've been in a manipulative and controlling relationship. After four years I ran. Seven years later I am now married to an amazing supportive man and couldn't be happier. The years of being a single parent were tough and I still cop abuse from the Ex, but it has been worth it for my happiness

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    Yogis Mumma (27-11-2018)

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by nudge88 View Post
    I've been in a manipulative and controlling relationship. After four years I ran. Seven years later I am now married to an amazing supportive man and couldn't be happier. The years of being a single parent were tough and I still cop abuse from the Ex, but it has been worth it for my happiness
    ditto - 10 years together, married for 8 of those, and I left, and have been remarried over 3 years now - you too also deserve happiness good luck, and take a day at a time, as you won't be able to plan much longer than that as this stage.

  10. #28
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    Default Would you try again?

    Thanks so much to all who took the time to reply. As strange as it sounds I feel like I need external reassurance that I’m doing the right thing.. I mean, I feel like I’m doing the right thing for me but he does have a way of making me doubt my decision. When we first got together we were happy, but I’m afraid that this is who he has always been and I was blind to it, I’ve tried to explain that always in the back of my mind I will know what he is capable of. He was quite nasty to me for a number of weeks after separation and blames it on the hurt he was feeling but some of the things he said would never, ever come out my mouth even if I thought them.

    Anyway, you ladies have given me some confidence in my decision, so thank you!

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    babyno1onboard (28-11-2018),Mod-Wise Enough (28-11-2018),SJ565 (28-11-2018),Stephie91 (29-11-2018),turquoisecoast (28-11-2018)

  12. #29
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    @theworkingmum
    “Would you try again?” NO

    All the best hun!!!


 

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