Needing to talk 😔

[Mod-Wise Enough]

Yep I get it. I’m a solo mum who works full time. Free time is spent driving around little aths, basketball and swimming. My house is trashed, even though I’m constantly cleaning.

My kids are 7 and 4, I guess it’s just Stockholm syndrome now. I find doing fun things with them helps me cope better. It would be hard for you with a 1yo though, fun stuff and babies don’t go together. Today the kids and I went to a festival. You get so much more back when they’re older. Babies are cute but the interaction with older kids makes the daily grind more enjoyable.

[turquoisecoast]

completely agree with that @Mod-Wise Enough !! i really struggled with ds when he was a baby. it’s all hard repetitive work with nothing back. it’s definitely getting better now he can talk, we’re starting to do more fun stuff, he can last longer without sleeps etc.

[OctopusMummy]

Hi @OctopusMummy, sorry to hear you are struggling.

I’ve had some ups & downs over the years with parenting and am definitely stuck in a down. Good news for you is, it may be short lived, particularly if you’re seeing a therapist.

It does sound like your DH is contributing to your issues though, any chance he can change?

I too work full time & find myself constantly overloaded. Thankfully my DH is great & we are basically 50/50 with house & parenting but I also manage our ‘life’ so to speak.

My little ones are 5 & 2. Soon we’ll also be having to fit in homework and after school activities & weekend sport. More coordinating, more rushing, more demands on our time.

I feel there is just far too much expected of me & its crushing as I don’t see it changing. Work/parenting/house responsibilities, dealing with broader family issues, managing my own health, witnessing loved ones with seriously ill health, managing or even building friendships. Contributing to events (school/day care/family/friends). Constantly trying to adapt to this changing world (keeping up with technology, staying relevant in the workplace). I could go on!

I feel this is an unhealthy lifestyle. And find myself almost constantly in a state of stress (and exhaustion). Worst of all, I can’t be the parent or wife I want to be, or that I think my family deserve.

I can’t reduce my hours, we can’t outsource our cleaning etc unfortunately.

I’m embarking on help for myself as I am sinking. It’s early days. But you know, now I need to fit in all the self help stuff (because it’s so important!) and find the money for it too.

Happy to chat. I think I need to talk it out too. My friends aren’t parents & parents I know aren’t close enough friends, unfortunately.

I see so many people around me struggling though, this life is literally a rat race!

I think a big part of the problem for working Mums is that workplaces are almost completely incompatible with parental obligations. Sick kids, school hours and school holidays for example. It just doesn’t compute. We are so far from this bring remedied. Sure, my workplace offers some flexibility (certainly more than others) but it comes at a cost.

I totally agree and understand! I also feel like societal expectations of what it us to be a mum hasnt changed with the times. I constantly feel pressure to be a stay at home mum even though its just not financially viable. And if it seems like ive dropped the ball or not with it, i feel like I'm judged. I also understand about the extended family pressures, i too have some similar stresses.