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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Yep I get it. Iโ€™m a solo mum who works full time. Free time is spent driving around little aths, basketball and swimming. My house is trashed, even though Iโ€™m constantly cleaning.

    My kids are 7 and 4, I guess itโ€™s just Stockholm syndrome now. I find doing fun things with them helps me cope better. It would be hard for you with a 1yo though, fun stuff and babies donโ€™t go together. Today the kids and I went to a festival. You get so much more back when theyโ€™re older. Babies are cute but the interaction with older kids makes the daily grind more enjoyable.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Wise Enough For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (18-11-2018),turquoisecoast (17-11-2018)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    completely agree with that @Mod-Wise Enough !! i really struggled with ds when he was a baby. itโ€™s all hard repetitive work with nothing back. itโ€™s definitely getting better now he can talk, weโ€™re starting to do more fun stuff, he can last longer without sleeps etc.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to turquoisecoast For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (18-11-2018)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Quote Originally Posted by YeahYeahYeah View Post
    Hi @OctopusMummy, sorry to hear you are struggling.

    Iโ€™ve had some ups & downs over the years with parenting and am definitely stuck in a down. Good news for you is, it may be short lived, particularly if youโ€™re seeing a therapist.

    It does sound like your DH is contributing to your issues though, any chance he can change?

    I too work full time & find myself constantly overloaded. Thankfully my DH is great & we are basically 50/50 with house & parenting but I also manage our โ€˜lifeโ€™ so to speak.

    My little ones are 5 & 2. Soon weโ€™ll also be having to fit in homework and after school activities & weekend sport. More coordinating, more rushing, more demands on our time.

    I feel there is just far too much expected of me & its crushing as I donโ€™t see it changing. Work/parenting/house responsibilities, dealing with broader family issues, managing my own health, witnessing loved ones with seriously ill health, managing or even building friendships. Contributing to events (school/day care/family/friends). Constantly trying to adapt to this changing world (keeping up with technology, staying relevant in the workplace). I could go on!

    I feel this is an unhealthy lifestyle. And find myself almost constantly in a state of stress (and exhaustion). Worst of all, I canโ€™t be the parent or wife I want to be, or that I think my family deserve.

    I canโ€™t reduce my hours, we canโ€™t outsource our cleaning etc unfortunately.

    Iโ€™m embarking on help for myself as I am sinking. Itโ€™s early days. But you know, now I need to fit in all the self help stuff (because itโ€™s so important!) and find the money for it too.

    Happy to chat. I think I need to talk it out too. My friends arenโ€™t parents & parents I know arenโ€™t close enough friends, unfortunately.

    I see so many people around me struggling though, this life is literally a rat race!

    I think a big part of the problem for working Mums is that workplaces are almost completely incompatible with parental obligations. Sick kids, school hours and school holidays for example. It just doesnโ€™t compute. We are so far from this bring remedied. Sure, my workplace offers some flexibility (certainly more than others) but it comes at a cost.
    I totally agree and understand! I also feel like societal expectations of what it us to be a mum hasnt changed with the times. I constantly feel pressure to be a stay at home mum even though its just not financially viable. And if it seems like ive dropped the ball or not with it, i feel like I'm judged. I also understand about the extended family pressures, i too have some similar stresses.


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