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  1. #1
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    Default Do kids just give up too easily these days? Finding a balance...

    My kids never seem to want to stick at things. Over the years we've done basketball, swimming, netball, music lessons, dancing, table tennis, bowling, hockey and the latest taekwondo ( not all at the same time)

    Im most disappointed about them wanting to give up on taekwondo because I kind of think it would be a great skill to have in this day and age with the world seemingly becoming more violent.

    How do you find the balance between teaching kids to stick things out and make effort, and not give up, and knowing when to draw a line in the sand and go, you know what, you arent enjoying it, give up.....

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    For us....if they did the free trial lesson and wanted to continue they had to keep at it until the end of the term or the amount of lessons I had prepaid for.

    After school activities should be fun, I don't see any point in pushing them to do things they don't enjoy. However, if they make a commitment they should stick to it....hence finishing the term.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to PomPoms For This Useful Post:

    RmumR (12-11-2018),SSecret Squirrel (12-11-2018)

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    Hi,
    I will make my kids do swimming until they are competent swimmers, and martial art as i feel those are necessary skills.
    As for various sports and dancing, i will let them try as much as possible until they find what they like. If they dont like any thats ok as long as they stick with first two.
    Language - we are bilingual so no choice there, although I am getting lazy and using mostly english. So I need to put more effort.
    My dd does violin, and ds wants do do guitar. Dd is kazy to practice, and maybe we started too young, but she wanted to do it. I m unsure how to proceed with music instruments. There is obviously a cost of instrument plus weekly lessions which is quite a bit... so i m interested what other people views on that is

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    How old are your kids OP?

    Mine are 7 and 4. They tried dancing a couple of times but it never stuck.

    7yo did keyboard lessons for a year but hated it immensely at the end. We ended up giving away the remainder of the term to another kid. I didn’t see the point in making her go to the lessons when she wasn’t enjoying it and wouldn’t try. My mum is nearly 70 and still begrudges her mum forcing her.

    We started basketball a year ago and she’s still enjoying that, which I thought would have waned by now.

    Both girls do little aths. The first year I make them do every event, but my 7yo has adamantly refused to do the longer races. She always comes last and isn’t a natural runner. I don’t make her hurdle either as I can’t clear those things so I can’t expect her to.

    That’s kind of what it comes down to for me. Would I put my money where my mouth is and do it? If the answer is no, then I don’t push it.

    Is it giving up too easily or do kids these days just know what they like and feel confident in speaking up? Kids these days definitely have more power and I don’t see that as a bad thing. I want my kids to be vocal about things they aren’t enjoying or aren’t comfortable with. It might help them in the teenage years.

    I agree with a previous poster that they should finish a term/season. After that it’s their decision.

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    I have kids of varying ages. Teenagers, preteen and little kids. I feel like the older ones give up the minute it gets hard. I used to say one musical instrument, one summer sport, one winter sport and swimming lessons ( for the younger ones) as swimming is a life skill. It is just getting harder and harder to drag them to do things but I feel like once they are there they are okay, it is just they are too lazy to actually go, and if given a choice would sit at home on technology. It is upsetting about the taekwondo because they are nearly on red belt, which is only one down from black and have been doing it a few years. I just feel like Im wasting my money really.

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    For my kids.
    Swimming till i can see you can do it competently and not struggling - none of my 3 are the swim club type but they can all swim.

    DD1 has danced since she was 2.5, all drive by her. Her commitment wavers occasionally so we pull back to basics on classes till she drives the want to be back in the thick of it.

    She has also tried soccer, tennis, gymnastics, art class and touch football - all of these ive made her stick out the season/term for.

    DD2 is fickle in her sporting pursuits but i insist she see’s er commitment through to the end of the season

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    Quote Originally Posted by PomPoms View Post
    For us....if they did the free trial lesson and wanted to continue they had to keep at it until the end of the term or the amount of lessons I had prepaid for.

    After school activities should be fun, I don't see any point in pushing them to do things they don't enjoy. However, if they make a commitment they should stick to it....hence finishing the term.
    I agree with this. My DD is 5 and does dancing and has occasional bouts of not wanting to do it. I remind her that she has made a commitment, she has a position and role to play in the mid-year / end of year concert dances, so once they’re over she can reevaluate. I don’t care about what activity she does, but I do think it’s important that they understand teamwork and if you have agreed to be there in that spot in the dance, then you’ll be there!

    She’s always gone back to dancing after her enthusiasm wanes for a week, but she’s been pretty adamant that after this years Christmas concert, no more dancing and it’s going to be soccer next year apparently! I think I prefer dancing in the air conditioned building rather than freezing cold outdoor soccer but 🤷‍♀️ it’s her choice.

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    DD is 12

    We tried a lot of things over the years - all kinds of sports and interests. I always made her stick it out until the end of term/year etc - whatever the commitment was, but after that if she didn’t want to, I would not make her do anymore.

    With flute I did make her make a longer term commitment before I would buy her a flute though 😀

    She now just does calisthenics and netball. Netball the commitment waivers a bit - but it’s a team sport do once she commits she stays in - and by the time it’s time to commit again next year she will be back into it again.

    Cali she is VERY committed. She started at 8 and every year has got more and more into it.

    Essentially - it’s child led. They will find their passion.

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    This year we’ve tried heaps for my 6 year old, in previous years she had been doing swimming and dancing but she was getting a little over dancing and was only in it for the concert by the end of the year. We agreed she would try netball/netsetgo and she goes up and down with it. She doesn’t have the greatest focus so when they play mini games she is often standing to the side picking her fingernails and not paying attention. I think she would struggle immensely in an actual game. I took her out of swimming over winter as I had a baby at the start of the year and I was not doing cold night lessons and she asked about doing Auskick instead, she enjoyed the drills but was much the same as netball when it came time to play. This term she has started doing little athletics and so far is enjoying the variety and the activities.

    We will have a maximum of two activities I think, I’ve got three kids but at 10 months old she has nothing yet and my 4 year old does her swimming and dancing during the school day so at least I don’t have to run around too much. Hopefully I can get them interested in the same things!


 

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