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  1. #11
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    I’m tearing up as I read this thread. This was something I agonised over with my beloved Lab. It’s almost 2 years and I still doubt that I made the right decision.

    The last few days he had lost his appetite, and he always loved his food. And with his arthritis he could barely walk. He was still wagging his tail, but I also knew from previous experience that he would put it on for me, to be alright. Several years before he had hurt his leg and I didn’t think it was as bad as it was - if I manipulated it he wouldn’t whimper or anything, but he was limping. As soon as the vet touched it he whimpered - he was masking his pain. So I knew I couldn’t take his tail still wagging as a sign.

    When we took him to the vet I expected him to come home with us, but at the same time I was expecting to not bring him home. I agonised over the decision at the vet - I was being selfish more than anything. But I looked at my “puppy” and knew that it wasn’t fair on him.

    And now I’m bawling my eyes out writing about it!!! It’s been 2 years next week and I still miss him like crazy. The hormones for IVF aren’t helping right now either.
    @granny1 your lab sounds like mine, not showing how much pain he is in. My only advice is to watch him and how he reacts. If he’s going to show pain he will show it there. Look in his eyes as well - labs are so expressive in their eyes. That was how I knew, when I looked in his eyes at the vet.

    And now I’m going to go hug my stuffed Lab that I bought in remembrance and cry

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    Furmumma (09-11-2018)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by amyd View Post
    I’m a vet and I tend to tell people that it’s not just about having happy moments during the day, it’s about the ability to do what they want, when they want and also to be content.

    I’ve also never had anyone regret doing it too soon, but lots that feel they left it too long.

    It’s a horrible decision to have to make but I know you’ll make the one that is right for you and your family.
    Thank you, this is so true. Today I have watched her every move and she’s hurting so much when she walks that she has to keep stopping to lay down.
    She’s also quite restless which is unusual for her, she’s normally quite content to lay around for hours and often will barely move. But she seems like she can’t get comfortable and keeps moving around. And then she keeps getting up for water as well every hour or so as well.

  4. #13
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    It’s so hard. Our 12 year old cat suddenly starting acting differently one day - hard to explain, she just wasn’t herself. My radar was going off so we took her to the vet the next day. She had skin cancer on her nose (not visible but when the vet showed us you could see the change in skin texture). He felt her body and found multiple tumours . She was still eating, drinking and wasn’t in pain. He sent us home with anti inflammatories and said to enjoy another few weeks with her - we would know when she starting suffering.

    Within two days we knew she was in pain. Gosh it was all so sudden and heartbreaking! I couldn’t stand for her to suffer so we took her straight in once we knew she was in pain.

    Go with your gut.

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    Furmumma (09-11-2018)

  6. #14
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    Thank you everyone, I appreciate you sharing your experiences. So much heartbreak reading them all I have made an appointment at the vet tomorrow morning. I feel like I’m doing the right thing, I know she’s only going to decline further and i would rather not let her suffer more. It has been agonising to make the decision however I feel at peace with it (tomorrow that may change).
    @granny1 I’m so sorry you are going through something similar
    @Pcos30 I’m sorry I made you cry. The sadness never really leaves us when we lose our fur babies

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pcos30 View Post
    I’m tearing up as I read this thread. This was something I agonised over with my beloved Lab. It’s almost 2 years and I still doubt that I made the right decision.

    The last few days he had lost his appetite, and he always loved his food. And with his arthritis he could barely walk. He was still wagging his tail, but I also knew from previous experience that he would put it on for me, to be alright. Several years before he had hurt his leg and I didn’t think it was as bad as it was - if I manipulated it he wouldn’t whimper or anything, but he was limping. As soon as the vet touched it he whimpered - he was masking his pain. So I knew I couldn’t take his tail still wagging as a sign.

    When we took him to the vet I expected him to come home with us, but at the same time I was expecting to not bring him home. I agonised over the decision at the vet - I was being selfish more than anything. But I looked at my “puppy” and knew that it wasn’t fair on him.

    And now I’m bawling my eyes out writing about it!!! It’s been 2 years next week and I still miss him like crazy. The hormones for IVF aren’t helping right now either.
    @granny1 your lab sounds like mine, not showing how much pain he is in. My only advice is to watch him and how he reacts. If he’s going to show pain he will show it there. Look in his eyes as well - labs are so expressive in their eyes. That was how I knew, when I looked in his eyes at the vet.

    And now I’m going to go hug my stuffed Lab that I bought in remembrance and cry
    I’m so so sorry to read about your puppy.. I’ll definately be checking his eyes ..

    It’s heartbreaking but I refuse to let him suffer.

  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Furmumma View Post
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate you sharing your experiences. So much heartbreak reading them all I have made an appointment at the vet tomorrow morning. I feel like I’m doing the right thing, I know she’s only going to decline further and i would rather not let her suffer more. It has been agonising to make the decision however I feel at peace with it (tomorrow that may change).
    @granny1 I’m so sorry you are going through something similar
    @Pcos30 I’m sorry I made you cry. The sadness never really leaves us when we lose our fur babies
    Thank you.

    I’ll be sending you lots of prayers tonight for your fur baby. They really are special aren’t they ! Much love

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    Furmumma (09-11-2018)

  10. #17
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    Our boy stopped eating and stopped purring. We knew it was time to say goodbye. It’s the hardest decision to make and I couldn’t help but still feel guilty like I was killing him. It was a few months ago now but I still cry about it often and miss him like crazy

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    Furmumma (10-11-2018)

  12. #18
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    Firstly... to you @Furmumma

    This is such a heartbreaking and difficult decision that almost all of us have to make for our Furbabies eventually. It's a distressing/devastating time full of myriad emotions it can be hard to know when is the right time as there is a part of us that wants to hold on to every last second, minute, hour and day that we can with our Furbabies knowing that the end is drawing inevitably closer, then there is the other side that wants to ensure our Furbabies do not suffer for even a moment so we try to find the perfect timing so as to prevent this whilst also having as long as we can with them.

    I also feel that for some of us, there can also be the feeling of guilt attached too wondering if our Furbabies know what's going on and will they be angry/upset/not love us anymore etc etc for making this decision especially if we think we've made it too soon/at the wrong time etc, etc.

    IMO, it's about quality of life Luv. Varying factors/signs to weigh up exactly what/where that is and what that means (to me anyway) is what helped my sister (and Ex to an extent) to decide when the right time was:

    Is your Furbaby in constant pain that can't be controlled with meds?

    Is your Furbaby still able to eat and drink normally??

    Can your Furbaby still go to the toilet properly?? I believe small bladder leakages from age are normal but fully losing control of bladder/bowels on a regular basis is a sign that organs are not working properly or are beginning to shut down. Also a decrease in urination/bowel movements is just as worrying.

    Is your Furbaby having frequent vomiting or diarrohea??

    Does your Furbaby have issues breathing?? Seizures??

    Does your Furbaby have issues with getting up/walking or general mobility on a regular basis??

    Does your Furbaby still recognise you?? (ie no senility/blindness etc)

    Does your Furbaby seem distressed/anxious?? Is she miaowing/crying all the time or wanting to follow you around constantly?? Sometimes cats that are in their final days seek solitude as it's instinctual for them (in the wild they would hide from predators when ill). It could also being a sign of stress due to the deterioration of their senses in conjunction with overall physical weakness which can make them want to avoid anything too stimulating etc.

    Does your Furbaby seem more lethargic/weak?? Spend majority of time sleeping?? Lower body temperature??

    Communicating regularly with the Vet updating about the signs/symptoms helped give a lot of direction and guidance as well as being a huge source of support. My sister/ Ex didn't need all of the above signs to decide when but they were helpful guidelines to show symptoms of deterioration and declining quality of life.

    I personally believe it's better to decide a week earlier than to leave it one day too late. I also think you have be honest enough and brave enough to admit who are you prolonging life for?? Is it for you so you can keep your Furbaby with you for as long as possible or is it for them and if it is for them, at what cost??

    At the end of the day, despite the illness/condition etc, does your Furbaby still get enjoyment from the life they are living?? If, despite medical treatment, medication etc, your Furbaby is still in constant pain/discomfort, then that IMO, is the time to consider making the decision they can't make for themselves and freeing them from any further suffering/pain so they are not enduring it for a second longer than they need to or should have to.

    I know it's gut wrenching knowing that making the decision means having to say goodbye but you are also giving them the most loving, compassionate gift too Luv. I believe it's a true act of unconditional love and kindness to release and surrender our Furbabies from having to live days that are prolonging the inevitable when the downhill slide has already started to happen knowing it's only going to get worse for them as the days go by.

    The hesitation for so many is mostly due to the expectations and attachments/fears of letting them go. Better to send them over the Rainbow Bridge whilst in minimal pain/discomfort I believe. No need for them to suffer greatly in any way, shape or form when we have the power and control to prevent it.

    They have been our faithful, loving companions, friends and family who stood by us all of their lives always giving all of their love and never asking for anything in return, this is the very least we can do for them in return and what they deserve. To make their passing/days leading up to it as painless/least distressing as we possibly can.

    Trust your instincts and work/consult closely with your Vet. I believe you don't want your Furbaby to suffer a moment longer than needs be Luv so you with that in mind, you will know when the time is right to make that final decision for this very much loved and adored family member.

    Yes, you will have to be so very, very strong when the time comes to make that decision but you are doing it from love. Love is the reason why and therefore you cannot and will not be wrong. Your Furbaby will thank-you and love you for it too I promise you.

    I will tell you that recently when my older sisters dog passed away from a rapidly growing tumour in the roof of his mouth (gorgeous pure bred with papers black cocker spaniel who was 15 yrs that my younger sister and I all went a 1/3rd in to pay for so really was our family pet) this is pretty much what she did and how she decided when the right time was. My sister is also an RN too which helped her recognise the physical/cognitive signs of deterioration. Emotionally, she was just as distraught, unsure, feelings of guilt etc like many others go through. She liaised closely with her Vet.

    When her/our beautiful boy passed over the Rainbow Bridge, the Vet came out to the house and my sister had lovely, special music playing, candles burning, prayers being said to the Universe (she is also studying to be a Yoga teacher at the moment) and she, my nephew and her partner were there when Boomer (nickname for him..so as not to reveal possibly identity) passed. My sister held him when he passed over so it was as loving, calm and peaceful as possible for the Black Bandit

    That final day, they took him out in the car for a ride to favourite places. Gave him some favourite foods/treats and took some lovely photo's, video's and made the day all about him to be as loving, happy as they could. Boomer was having trouble breathing by that stage as well as eating/drinking. He was spending most of his time sleeping and had become increasingly anxious with fitful sleep. He was having issues swallowing his medication (especially pain meds) and had had a seizure too previously. He was a bit wonky walking here and there. My sister was taking him in to the Vet for monitoring every week and as the tumour got bigger and he found it harder to eat/drink and breathing became more difficult etc that's when she made the decision. He was starting to suffer though not in any pain, he was in some distress/ becoming anxious (which was increasing) and his quality of life was not there anymore. His life was not enjoyable for him anymore so enough was enough. He was only going to get worse, and she did not want him to feel any kind of pain at all (didn't want it to get to that stage) just so she/we could have an extra day/s with him even though she wanted as much time as possible with him too. That's us being selfish, not selfless and putting him first and foremost.

    Hope this helps in some small way. Please know I will be thinking of you and your Furbaby in the coming days/weeks and sending you both much love, hugs and healing while you're going through this terribly difficult and heartbreaking time. I will also send prayers to Universe for you both too xoxo

    P.S...The Ex and I's Furbaby (dog) passed away just over 8 years ago ( a gorgeous German Shepherd x Rottweiler) and I still miss him and have a good, old cry for him every now and again. The day he passed away, my Ex didn't even want to come into the room to be with him as he has an issue with death/dying but I gave him what for and told him he owed it to our Furbaby for all the years of love and loyalty he gave to my Ex how dare he abandon him in his final moments etc. I was so pi$$ed off!! Told him it was the very least he could do for our Furbaby and the least of what he deserved etc and etc and to get the faark over himself (as he was the one who decided to make the call the send him over the Rainbow Bridge ultimately) and get in that room and show our Furbaby the love and respect he deserves.

    I lay on the floor with our Furbaby (the Ex stood up behind ) while our Vet sedated him. I cuddled,stroked and talked to our Furbaby the whole time with my face/cheek pressed against him, whispering gently into his ear (with tears gushing down my face) telling him who would be waiting to meet him over the Rainbow Bridge (his mother and grandmother who he grew up with for a number of years and another lovely dog of my Ex's father we cared for a brief time and sent over the Rainbow Bridge too as she had incurable/inoperable cancer). As our Furbaby passed away I told him to run and keep on running and not to look back. Just told him how much I loved him and thanked him for everything he'd done and been to me, how much I would miss him and that I would be with him again one day. He was my best friend (even though he was technically the Ex's dog). He was 10 years old. He is in a beautiful urn now that has his collar/council tag around it with a photo (not that I will ever forget his face).

    He lives with me and will be with me forever xo
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 10-11-2018 at 00:42.

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    Furmumma (10-11-2018)

  14. #19
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    I am going to add this in for anyone out there who feels guilty/made the wrong decision/signing their pets death warrant/grieving the death of their Furbaby etc.

    Will preface this by saying I am not religious but I am spiritual. Additionally, these couple of copy and pastes I am about to share come from a woman named Amanda De Warren who is an animal communicator. For those out there who have an interest/believe in the supernatural, mystical, occult, psychics etc then this will hopefully provide some comfort to you. I have also seen Amanda read for a small group of people IRL (about 30 people)..both animal and human souls came through..random people in a room and she just went with the messages that came through.

    Previous to this, I won a pet reading (my pet..a living Muscovy duck at the time) through a Woman's Day competition in 2011 (phone reading recorded and sent to me on a cd). When I saw her read for the group of people it was in 2014. I physically met her for the first time that day (became a regular fan of hers after winning comp) and she invited me and a few others to stay and have lunch with her. I can and will vouch for her authenticity. From what I saw in the room that day, she was pretty bang on the mark. Anyhoo, I hope what she has written here might help some of you:


    Putting Pets Down (2014)

    I have been connecting to animals for the past 12 years and many of them have had to be put down by their owners. I have to tell you that in all my years as an animal communicator have I never had one passed over pet come through that was angry at their owner for having to make that decision. They know we are not trying to end their life but only trying to end their suffering and know we had to do this because we love them. They never judge us on our decisions nor are they ever angry or resentful towards us but just keep on loving us until you meet up with them once again. A lot of people ask me where do they go after they have passed. They go to the same place as we do and in nearly every case of a passing there is a passed over loved one family member to greet them and look after them until we go back there to be with them once again. Their spirit is still always a part of our everyday lives. You need to know that they never see this decision as an injustice and neither should you. They don’t want us to be angry at ourselves for having to make that decision and most of them are grateful to their owners for ending their suffering. I too have had to make the difficult decision in the past to let my much loved pet pass so I know it is far from an easy decision and as much as I wanted to be selfish and keep them here I knew it was wrong of me. Let yourself grieve by all means but just remember they don’t blame you and don’t want to you to live your life being angry and blaming yourself.


    PETS THAT ARE GETTING READY TO DEPART FROM THIS WORLD (2018)

    Hi everyone,
    When I have to do a sick pet reading and connect to that pet and the pet tells their owner that they have had enough and know what is about to happen. The pets are never afraid of their impending passing and assure their much loved humans that they are fine with it all. They also tell their owners who is waiting there for them as far as family and other pets who will be there to pick them up when they do cross that rainbow bridge. I am always so very conscious of the emotions that are happening during these types of readings and always leave the decision up to the owners. It is comforting to know that when we do have to make that decision that our pets are going to fine and will still always be a part of our lives. They know we are only trying to end their suffering and not their lives. They go on loving us even if we have had to make that decision.They are never afraid and actually accept what is going to happen and all tell me there is never any fear.
    Have a fabulous day everyone and know that our passed over pets will always love us.
    Amanda


    OUR PETS STILL LOVE US EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE PASSED (2018)

    Hi everyone,

    Our pets wants us to know that they are still a part of our lives and that they still love us just as much as they did when they were here even when they have passed over. They still have that special connection in this life and the next and come through to us with that love in all my readings. Our pets know all that has been going on in our lives
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 10-11-2018 at 08:24.

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    Furmumma (10-11-2018)

  16. #20
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    A heartbreaking update, I said goodbye to my sweet girl this morning. I feel like my heart has shattered into a million pieces even though I know I did what was best for her. The vet checked her over and said that whilst she could have gone on she will only continue to deteriorate and it was probably kinder to let her go now before she gets worse. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it was so peaceful. She was sedated and she laid down with her head resting on my arm and went to sleep. She’s now at peace and not in any pain.

    Thank you again for all your responses and taking the time to share your experiences. I know it’s not any easy thing to do xx


 

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