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  1. #611
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    @Kalina I think you’re exactly right re family dynamics etc as my friend was in tears days before she gave birth as she was worried it would affect her great relationship with her then 2.5/3 yo. Your daughter will love having a sibling I’m sure - have you told her yet?

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  3. #612
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phia View Post
    I hear ya, I had to set aside my feelings about whether he just threw the sink or if it was arbitrary. It wasn’t reassuring but I had to remember that I read the book after it was recommended to me by @BlondeinBrisvegas and he was the only one that had unlocked a new lead so I was like - I either believe or let it go - In the end, I’m in for a penny, in for a pound.

    After 1 failed cycle with Dr M I was on Dex and I think it made the difference. I was worried about cleft palate but bubba was fine. It’s definitely a stronger feeling than prednisolone and my FS (LB) was very concerned. I had to compartmentalise the three FS’s advice.
    LB to get my uterus ready -
    (hysteroscopy and scratch)
    Dr M to keep my body from attacking and keep the baby (clexane dexmethasone and then moved on to prednisolone after week 10 or 11) plaquenil doxycycline methylated folate, vit B E D, Calcium). Meds monitored with monthly blood tests to check inflammation markers. Intrallipids.
    Dr K to get ready for transfer (progynova/progesterone - although I upped it as I was low).
    @LeeLee1980 -I understand the nervousness given his style. In the end it’s a personal thing and it’s up to you. For me, it was about weighing up what I needed to do to have peace of mind if my last cycle was a negative.

    Best of luck we are all behind you

    Thanks @Phia
    What timing was your intralipid, I’m in Brisbane last time I had it done in Greece as I went over early this time I will have to have it done here
    Do you have to get a script /referral ??? If you don’t get it done with DrM

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  5. #613
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    As everything is going well so far I've started to turn my mind to telling people around us about the pregnancy. I won't be able to hide it much longer - even though I'm only 12 weeks, in the morning I have no bump, just a thickening, but by the late afternoon on some days I'm so bloated that I look properly pregnant and it's hard to hide. Ideally I'd hold off longer, but my belly says otherwise.

    So the thing on my mind is what do we tell people. We always planned to tell the child that we used donor eggs, but I feel less certain about telling friends. I'm trying to work out why I feel like this way, but am wondering if anyone else had the same dilemma.
    I dont think you need to tell them, you don’t have to lie just don’t tell. If they ask you can say yes but I don’t think anyone would ask. It is your personal business and your child’s decision (when old enough) if they want to tell or keep it to themselves.
    If you had fallen pregnant naturally would you go around telling people that it was a natural conception? No, you would just say your pregnant and leave it at that.

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  7. #614
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    Completely felt the same way @LeeLee1980. I had two phone consults with him out of sheer desperation, after my second failed DE attempt. You just get to a point where you're convinced that something is really wrong with you. I was not very impressed at paying 475 for a grand total of seven minutes on the phone over two "consultations", just to be prescribed what most people seem to be prescribed anyway. He told me I had an imbalance and would need dexamethasone to get pregnant, and to have intralipids (only with him, as he does it differently [and more expensively]) etc, avoid dairy, avoid gluten.

    Long story short, I didn't feel comfortable taking dex and didn't think that he'd spent enough time looking at my case to be prescribing such an intense drug the long term effects of which are unknown.

    At the end of the day, in the ttc world you have to decide which way to jump with immunology stuff. You find a specialist you have confidence in, and follow their advice. For me, that wasn't Dr M, and I didn't use his protocol on my successful cycle.
    Thanks @Kalina
    What protocol did you end up having for your successful round. I know you have probably mentioned in the past.
    Greece has added patches this time and I will go for another scratch just before the round too. Otherwise I think I will stick with Dr M plan but use prednisone instead, I gained wait and felt so puffy and unwell on the dex, I’m still trying to make myself feel healthy and back to normal before the next transfer

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  9. #615
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeeLee1980 View Post
    Thanks @Phia
    What timing was your intralipid, I’m in Brisbane last time I had it done in Greece as I went over early this time I will have to have it done here
    Do you have to get a script /referral ??? If you don’t get it done with DrM
    I had intralipids the week before transfer and two weeks (when I had a bfp) after I believe and then one three weeks later.

    I would ring my FS office and speak to the nurse and they would book it in - I’m in Melbourne and my FS was at Epworth hospital so she just booked me in there. I bought the solution from the chemist in the same building (the FS office would arrange a script be sent down) and I would pick it up then take up the solution on the day. Strangely they use the oncology ward to administer the intralipids so I was sitting near the cancer patients which was a bit sad...

    Even stranger, one of the nurses had been in an incredible fertility journey herself! Told by three FS she wouldn’t be able to have a baby with her own eggs would need donor (after 14 failures or something). Then right before she was about to give up, she fell pregnant naturally. She was Japanese and she would put her hands on her pregnant belly and say “from me to you” over and over gesturing with her hands, like sending good vibes.

    So there we were, me crying overwhelmed, pregnant nurse sending me good vibes hooked up to a machine surrounded by people at their most challenging/vulnerable.

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  11. #616
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    Oh those stories about avoiding family members at the airport made me laugh so hard. I'm just picturing hordes of TTC women in disguise ducking behind potplants at the airport for fear of being seen. The worst I had to contend with was coming back with a tan during a Canberra winter, when I'd told work I needed time off for a medical procedure (I swear they must have thought I was dying with the constant mysterious medical procedures). I did fear getting caught up in some kind of international incident....

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  13. #617
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    Oh those stories about avoiding family members at the airport made me laugh so hard. I'm just picturing hordes of TTC women in disguise ducking behind potplants at the airport for fear of being seen. The worst I had to contend with was coming back with a tan during a Canberra winter, when I'd told work I needed time off for a medical procedure (I swear they must have thought I was dying with the constant mysterious medical procedures). I did fear getting caught up in some kind of international incident....
    Not to mention all those ladies looking like a suspicious traveller about to board an international flight!!

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  15. #618
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    @gorgeousgeorge I can see how your surprise pregnancy would throw up all kinds of extra feelings, including being so protective of Viv and not knowing what to tell her about her story. I have this firm belief that children can process anything emotionally if they know they are deeply loved and the centre of your universe. And when she is older she will be able to process your story logically too - I think all of us with little girls will make sure they understand reproduction and its foibles right?

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  17. #619
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justme007 View Post
    @Kalina I think you’re exactly right re family dynamics etc as my friend was in tears days before she gave birth as she was worried it would affect her great relationship with her then 2.5/3 yo. Your daughter will love having a sibling I’m sure - have you told her yet?
    No, I haven't - I'll wait as long as I can to protect her just in case something goes wrong, but I think she already knows something is going on. She really wants a sibling and has been consistently asking for the past couple of years - I fear she may have gender disappointment though because she's adamant she wants a little sister. I don't know what we're having yet but have a feeling it's a boy! I'm sure she'll be thrilled either way though once we know because she adores babies.

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  19. #620
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    As everything is going well so far I've started to turn my mind to telling people around us about the pregnancy. I won't be able to hide it much longer - even though I'm only 12 weeks, in the morning I have no bump, just a thickening, but by the late afternoon on some days I'm so bloated that I look properly pregnant and it's hard to hide. Ideally I'd hold off longer, but my belly says otherwise.

    So the thing on my mind is what do we tell people. We always planned to tell the child that we used donor eggs, but I feel less certain about telling friends. I'm trying to work out why I feel like this way, but am wondering if anyone else had the same dilemma.
    We were pretty open about it with family and friends. I have a smaller family than DH and I am closer to them so they all knew we did IVF and that we also went down the DE route. Our closest friends also knew from the start and so did a lot of my friends at work. Essentially, l told people I was comfortable telling. So many women fe isolated in this journey, so i wanted to share my story to make them aware of the options available to them.

    Funnily enough, I found it hard to say the words 'I'm pregnant' out loud. I was scared that l would jinx myself, as we had lost one of the babies. So l technically didn't make any announcements as such. Instead, I asked my friends to spread the word. Some friends (in my extended circle) still don't know that l am pregnant.

    Everyone has been really happy for us and very supportive. For those who didn't know we took the DE route, like the other ladies said, they asked all the normal quedtions. Only one person at work asked me in the lunch room in front of 10 other parties an inappropriate question "so how did this happen? Was it assisted or otherwise?" I simply said "through ivf". Had she asked me privately, I would have said more. But she really irked me, so I didn't!

    My advice? Follow your gut. Do whatever feels right for you. Xx

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