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  1. #521
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aussiesofftogreece View Post
    Hi everyone... searching for some advice..
    I’m just over 7 weeks pregnant and overwhelmed with work stress. I work in state government and the work load and demands, deadlines are not only excessive they are unachievable.
    I’ve come home in tears today crying at being overwhelmed with the work load.
    My supervisor is very unsupportive and won’t provide any of us any assistance. The manager above is the same.
    I am so
    Worried that the stress of work is going to make me miscarry or lose these precious babies that we have longed for
    So long.
    We can’t afford for me to stop working and I don’t want to. My job is rewarding as we help a very high risk group of people (violent, mental health concerns etc).

    Do I take. A few days off?
    Would love some advice? Have any of you been through the same thing?

    Thanks so much in advance xx
    @Aussiesofftogreece I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. You’re job sounds very important and highly stressful and it sounds hard enough at the best of times, but particularly difficult with the exhaustion and anxiety that comes with pregnancy, especially twins.

    I agree with @gorgeousgeorge, definitely take time off and find yourself a good gp who will give you sick leave. I also work in state govt and have had very stressful roles with little support also. My gp has always advocated for my mental health, especially when I was pregnant. We on this forum have been through so much to get pregnant and even if stress doesn’t cause problems with pregnancy, it can definitely affect your physical health and you need to take care of yourself. Believe me, those twins will take every ounce of energy and nutrition you have to give them, and it takes a huuuuge toll on your body pre and post natal. So I was very conscious not to let stress or anxiety from work mean that I had less to give them, they need me more than work ever would.

    Other things I did in addition to taking sick leave when I needed it was using state govt prenatal leave (38 hours) for all my scans and appts, and I also worked from home whenever I could. I considered going part time, maybe that could be an option? Even a nine day fortnight? I also prioritised mindfulness, meditation, yoga, acupuncture, and see a psychologist if my anxiety gets bad.

    I also don’t know many twin mums who were able to work much past 30 weeks so keep that in mind with your leave choices too. My obstetrician signed off that I needed to finish work at 30 weeks so I could use sick leave before my mat leave.

    Final piece of advice (sorry long reply but you’ve raised an issue close to my heart) is just don’t have any regrets. My work has always taken so much from me and I’ve now decided it’s just not worth that toll. You must put yourself and your babies first, as no one will do that for you. Easier said than done, especially when your job is helping others, but as they say, you must fill your own cup first.

    Take care xx

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  3. #522
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    Yeah take a few days off, thats what your leave is for. Being stressed, tired and worried is a kind of "sick", you dont have to feel physically sick to use them. I work in gov dept too, dept ed as a high school teacher. We call them 'sanity days' which are needed sometimes so that you can recharge and come back to work refreshed and do a better job. Do it and dont feel guilty.
    Stress wont cause harm to your baby..everyone is always stressed and if it affected pregnancies the worlds population would be declining rapidly. Remember how stressed you were doing ivf and you got preggers!
    Take a few days off, sleep in, eat yummy food, relax, think happy thoughts about the babies. See a gp if you need too, a good supportive one, who will give you a drs cert simply because you need a rest. I got a drs cert for 2 months sick leave when i was 7 months preggers coz i was "tired" and pregnant Didnt want to waste my mat leave, save that for bubba time. If you work hard and care about your job and the people you help and have a stupid amount of sick leave because you have always powered through/soldiered on (like me) previously, use it. This is your special time and you deserve it. But also, try to remember refugees and malnourished people living in poverty and all sorts of way worse stressed people have babies all the time. Stress wont cause a miscarriage. I feel thats only a theory people make up if it happens and they feel the need for an answer. Its not like your chucking a sickie to go on holidays..you could also ask for a drs cert for 1 days recurring sick leave a week or fortnight if you have enough leave, just because you need a reduced workload, especially woth twins on board. There are people out there constantly wroughting the system and you're not one of them lovely lady xx

    Oh thank you so much! I am certainly not a person who wroughts the system... i kinda wish I was cause then I wouldn’t feel so guilty!
    You’re absolutely right. I’m so glad to hear that stress doesn’t cause miscarriage... I kinda know it doesn’t but at the same time im still worried. Does that make sense? And I think it cause we have gone to hell and Back to get pregnant with these amazing gifts...

    I always soldier on! I have for countless rounds of IVF as my work ethic is too good... but what for? They would replace me
    Tomorrow I didn’t come back!! Lol

    I’m so incredibly grateful for you not making me feel like a sook, hormonal and weak mess!
    Gosh I love all the amazing women on this site!
    Xoxo

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  5. #523
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peninsula Girl View Post
    @Aussiesofftogreece I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. You’re job sounds very important and highly stressful and it sounds hard enough at the best of times, but particularly difficult with the exhaustion and anxiety that comes with pregnancy, especially twins.

    I agree with @gorgeousgeorge, definitely take time off and find yourself a good gp who will give you sick leave. I also work in state govt and have had very stressful roles with little support also. My gp has always advocated for my mental health, especially when I was pregnant. We on this forum have been through so much to get pregnant and even if stress doesn’t cause problems with pregnancy, it can definitely affect your physical health and you need to take care of yourself. Believe me, those twins will take every ounce of energy and nutrition you have to give them, and it takes a huuuuge toll on your body pre and post natal. So I was very conscious not to let stress or anxiety from work mean that I had less to give them, they need me more than work ever would.

    Other things I did in addition to taking sick leave when I needed it was using state govt prenatal leave (38 hours) for all my scans and appts, and I also worked from home whenever I could. I considered going part time, maybe that could be an option? Even a nine day fortnight? I also prioritised mindfulness, meditation, yoga, acupuncture, and see a psychologist if my anxiety gets bad.

    I also don’t know many twin mums who were able to work much past 30 weeks so keep that in mind with your leave choices too. My obstetrician signed off that I needed to finish work at 30 weeks so I could use sick leave before my mat leave.

    Final piece of advice (sorry long reply but you’ve raised an issue close to my heart) is just don’t have any regrets. My work has always taken so much from me and I’ve now decided it’s just not worth that toll. You must put yourself and your babies first, as no one will do that for you. Easier said than done, especially when your job is helping others, but as they say, you must fill your own cup first.

    Take care xx
    Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I feel so relieved to get such amazing support and tips from you.
    Some fantastic tips there that I will use. Thank you thank you thank you! Xoxo

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  7. #524
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    @Aussiesofftogreece completely agree, take some time off if you can. Nobody will thank you for running yourself ragged, and although stress won't cause a miscarriage I think you should listen to your body and take it easy from time to time. You're growing two placentas and two little people, that takes a lot of energy. With any planning you do make sure you don't take all the leave available to you now - even with one baby the exhaustion in the first and third trimesters can be intense. Your job sounds very worthwhile and fulfilling, but I think this is a time for putting yourself first.
    Thank you so much! Yes you’re right. Today I was exhausted! And think it has al for to me! Relieved to know that stress won’t cause miscarriage. I’m obviously just being a worrier! I have atleast 4 weeks of sick leave so can certainly take a day or two off..: the problem is that I’ll come
    Back to an even more chaotic workload
    Some how I have to make that “not my problem” I work like a dog and u r right I have to put myself first.
    Thanks a million for your support xox

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  9. #525
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    I was just reminded of the home stretch at work with my pregnancy with DD....I worked right up until the end, but at 36 weeks being huge and tired and having just finished a major project a midwife said 'why don't you take one day of a week for the remainder, just to make it easier'. So after this appointment, having happily told my manager everything was looking great with baby, I told her what the midwife said to gauge her thoughts on taking a day a week off for the next three weeks..... Her response was "I don't understand, if everything is fine why do you need time off?" Er, because making a person is hard work and I'm effing tired, if everything wasn't fine I wouldn't be here at all...

    And I can't even imagine how much more that applies for a twin pregnancy.
    Last edited by Kalina; 08-01-2019 at 21:00.

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  11. #526
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    Ladies would you mind sharing your progesterone/estrogen weaning protocol at the end of the first trimester? Interested in comparing.

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  13. #527
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    @Aussiesofftogreece mate, dont beat yourself up about worrying about miscarriage. I worry about it every day! It's because you love your babies which is a good thing. Everybody worries about their babies whether they are day old embryos, in utero, toddlers or middle aged adults. This is mum life and you are experiencing it xx Lol i went up to the hospital today to ask if a midwife could check for a heartbeat but they were too busy so im going tomorrow to ask again. No actual reason for me to be worried. Just all of a sudden is was worried baby wasn't there anymore and couldnt get it out of my head. Its ok to be crazy. Crazy is the new "normal". We can be crazy together if that helps.

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  15. #528
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    I was just reminded of the home stretch at work with my pregnancy with DD....I worked right up until the end, but at 36 weeks being huge and tired and having just finished a major project a midwife said 'why don't you take one day of a week for the remainder, just to make it easier'. So after this appointment, having happily told my manager everything was looking great with baby, I told her what the midwife said to gauge her thoughts on taking a day a week off for the next three weeks..... Her response was "I don't understand, if everything is fine why do you need time off?" Er, because making a person is hard work and I'm effing tired, if everything wasn't fine I wouldn't be here at...

    And I can't even imagine how much more that applies for a twin pregnancy.
    Wow they just don’t get it do they?? I think maybe cause I’m only early and work doesn’t know, I feel worse for taking time off... perhaps if it was in the open I would feel better at taking time off.
    The silly thing is.... nothing will happen if it take time off... life will go on... the world will still turn!
    Geee whiz the pressure we put on ourselves!
    I really like the idea of one day less per week!! Thanks again! I hope u are doing well? Xox

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  17. #529
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    That's the hard thing about the first trimester, you don't want to tell anyone you're pregnant so everything you're doing through you go through in silence, whether it's bloat, or anxiety, or nausea, or tiredness, or happiness that it's finally happening.

    I'm going well, thanks. I had a scan today - twelve days since my last one so I'd convinced myself the baby was dead, I was a wreck going into the scan. But no, it's there, lovely heartbeat, looking so much bigger and more developed now.

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  19. #530
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    That's the hard thing about the first trimester, you don't want to tell anyone you're pregnant so everything you're doing through you go through in silence, whether it's bloat, or anxiety, or nausea, or tiredness, or happiness that it's finally happening.

    I'm going well, thanks. I had a scan today - twelve days since my last one so I'd convinced myself the baby was dead, I was a wreck going into the scan. But no, it's there, lovely heartbeat, looking so much bigger and more developed now.
    It’s so true..: sometimes you just want to tell everyone and hope they will understand!

    Omg you poor thing.:: what an ordeal you have put yourself through. Omg I’m so glad you had a scan and I’m sure you are feeling soooo much better... how many weeks are u??

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