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  1. #1
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    Default Help with settling in to daycare for a 3 year old

    We've recently started our just 3 year old DD in preschool/daycare. She starts the day fine runs off and plays and waves good bye no crying at drop off, but the teacher calls me every day at about 12.30pm to come pick her up because she's crying for me, obviously I leave work and collect her but I really can't just keep leaving work. So just after some suggestions on how to settle her in?

    A little bit of info : She goes 2 days a week Thursday and Friday. We've had her enrolled in the program for about 2 months. The educators are amazing. We both work full time but work shifts and use a nanny for the gaps, So she is only used to one on one care. We also have made sure she is well socialsed with other children she attends a class or group every day of the week. Music class, ballet, soccer, swimming and play group. Her social skills are not the problem more following directions and not doing what she want to when she wants. She is also a huge mummy's girl and just wants to be with me all the time.

  2. #2
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    What is the daycare doing to try to settle her before contacting you? Surely they should have some strategies and suggestions for you. It kind of sounds like to me that are not engaging enough and perhaps giving up too easy. Although I could be totally wrong.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Bloom Bloom For This Useful Post:

    CharlieDE  (11-10-2018),freakingout  (12-10-2018),Little Miss Sunshine  (11-10-2018)

  4. #3
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    Default Help with settling in to daycare for a 3 year old

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloom Bloom View Post
    What is the daycare doing to try to settle her before contacting you? Surely they should have some strategies and suggestions for you. It kind of sounds like to me that are not engaging enough and perhaps giving up too easy. Although I could be totally wrong.
    I agree, this was my initial thought. I could understand calling once or twice for pick up if really distressed, but from the op it appears this has been ongoing for awhile now- this is now habit and also not good in the long run for your dd, strategies for childcare staff to cope and settle your dd really should of been implemented than relying on mum to take her home.

    FWIW, dd1 was/is a total mummy’s girl and never enjoyed going, even after 2 years (I also started her at 3yo), but she accepted after awhile certain days were for preschool and I would be back at x time on those days.

    I would expect more from the childcare to provide solutions than calling mum. Not a long term solution at all and needs to be handled.

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    CharlieDE  (11-10-2018)

  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloom Bloom View Post
    What is the daycare doing to try to settle her before contacting you? Surely they should have some strategies and suggestions for you. It kind of sounds like to me that are not engaging enough and perhaps giving up too easy. Although I could be totally wrong.
    When I arrive to collect her she's usually being held/cuddled by the teacher and I just apologise and take her home. I will definitely have a longer chat tomorrow but I get the impression they think it's because she's never been in daycare before.

    She's super excited about school and really wants to go but I think she just has enough after lunch and wants to go home and now it's a habit. I've go over what happens in the day like after lunch you have a sleep and then wake up and play with your friends until mummy comes and picks you up, and she repeats that on our way to drop off so she understands what a full day looks like.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieDE View Post
    When I arrive to collect her she's usually being held/cuddled by the teacher and I just apologise and take her home. I will definitely have a longer chat tomorrow but I get the impression they think it's because she's never been in daycare before.

    She's super excited about school and really wants to go but I think she just has enough after lunch and wants to go home and now it's a habit. I've go over what happens in the day like after lunch you have a sleep and then wake up and play with your friends until mummy comes and picks you up, and she repeats that on our way to drop off so she understands what a full day looks like.
    Does she nap? Is it upset after nap/before nap/or just after lunch?

    My DS was in care from before 10 months but he hated being away from me. He screamed every drop off and sometimes got upset when overtired etc but they always handled it.

    Not sure if this is helpful but when DS started prep this year he got really exhausted and had difficulty coping and regulating his emotions. To help his day, his teachers used to draw pictures of what he needed to do that day and cross of when done. Maybe something simple like that may help get her through the second half of the day?

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    Could they gradually increase her time with a reward for being brave? Sounds like it’s become habit now

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    How long is recently? How many weeks? When I worked in childcare we had a few kids who only went one or two days and had issues adjusting. I think sending her home early is the wrong move to use repeatedly. She's learnt that crying = getting to leave to go to mum.
    Is there something that she loves doing? Painting or drawing? She simply needs distractions while you are gone. I think you need to sit down with the staff and work out what you'd like to be done instead of her being picked up early.

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    Agree with Bloom Bloom. They have lots of experience staff whom has met all kinds of children so to me they haven't done good enough. I believe most kids are the same with Childcare. I sent my DD to Childcare first time at 11.5 months. It was only for 2 days a week (the day I work) and increase to 3, 4 and now she's going 5 days a week.

    I find when she went 2-3 days a week, she got issue adjusting the balance of being at home (with parents) and at Childcare (with educators). When she went 4-5 days a week, hardly has any issues when dropping her off in the morning. She doesn't even care if I'm there, just run off to play with friends.


 

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