+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 26 FirstFirst 1234513 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 254
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    8,824
    Thanks
    1,266
    Thanked
    5,649
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default How do I handle my teenage daughters pregnancy?

    I’ve been your daughter. I was the same age. From my experience the best thing you can do for her is be there. Support her. Give her the information she needs and be the one person who doesn’t judge her. No, it’s not ideal but it’s also not the end of the world. I highly recommend getting her linked up with a young pregnant and parenting program- having others who are in similar situations may help her open up about it. I would also encourage her to continue with her education, even if it’s via distance or a special arrangement through the school. I know our private school had several girls continue during pregnancy- some continued as normal and others had alternative arrangements such as different class times or at home.

    Another option is her signing her parental rights to you so you become the baby’s legal guardian. My mother did this when I was born and it was the best thing she could have done for both of us.

    I’m happy to chat via pm if you want. Remember though- teenage pregnancy happens to people from all walks of life, it’s not because you have failed. It’s not because she has a crappy home life. It happens. It’s happened. And you need to be there for her.

    Edit to add- when my mum fell pregnant with me, my family was well known in our community. My grandfather was involved with most sports at a rep level and the railway, my nan was the principal of a well regarded catholic school and highly respected in the community, my uncles were all well known sports players and musicians. Given my Nan’s occupation you can imagine the criticism that followed. Her and my mum ended up moving a few hours south until I was born. The plan was to place me up for adoption- or at least that’s what my mum wanted. My nan silently had other plans and unbeknownst to mum had been stashing away essentials for if (or when) my mum changed her mind. And she did- on the last day before I was to go to my new family. So we moved back to the hometown, and life went on. Mum copped a lot of grief but my nan stood up for her. My nan never let the gossip or criticism bother her- she believed I was meant to be and had no issues putting people in their place. When I was in your daughters position, word spread like wildfire. Even the teachers would give me hell. And it all happened at a time where I was grieving as my nan was dying from cancer. My mum was my rock through it all. I knew she was angry, she was disappointed and she was feeling everything you are feeling. But still she stood by me and never let her emotions affect the way she supported me. I honestly couldn’t have gotten through that time without her. And it wasn’t the last time she supported me through an unplanned teenage pregnancy (the 2nd I was 16). Neither pregnancy went more than a few weeks and it’s not something anyone knows about me. Unfortunately when I fell pregnant at 18, she turned her back on me and our relationship has never been the same. I needed her more then (that pregnancy resulted in my now 11 year old dd1) than ever and the hurt of her hanging up on me and me feeling totally alone has never left.
    Last edited by SheWarrior; 24-07-2018 at 16:08.

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SheWarrior For This Useful Post:

    Hetty (27-07-2018),Mamasupial (24-07-2018),Mashie (24-07-2018),Maybaby12 (25-07-2018)

  3. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    3,808
    Thanks
    969
    Thanked
    1,170
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I know this may not help you but perhaps it will.

    I used to work with a girl who fell pregnant at 13. She didn’t know until she was in labour- literally they thought she had appendicitis until the baby started to crown in the wheelchair upon arrival at hospital.

    Her father was a very well known afl player, and he was ashamed of his daughter, totally wanting to force her into giving up the baby.

    She ended up keeping the little boy and her parents helped her raise him. 20 years down the track, the family is happy, healed. She kept going with school and finished tAFE as well. The baby boy is now a grown man who has his own family as well.

    You CAN work through this. No one wishes for this but it will work out ok - just focus and what’s best for everyone.

    You are not to blame. But you do need to speak to the girl guides and the baby’s fathers family.
    As for school? Well, if they truly want to be seen as a good school raising good adults, then they should allow her to stay at school and help your family with this situation.

    Good luck. Hugs to you all.

  4. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    6,238
    Thanks
    735
    Thanked
    3,065
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default How do I handle my teenage daughters pregnancy?

    .
    Last edited by granny1; 25-07-2018 at 08:48.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to granny1 For This Useful Post:

    SuperGranny (24-07-2018)

  6. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    5,635
    Thanks
    6,606
    Thanked
    5,843
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I 100% agree a conversation with the camp/girl guide leader and the boys parents is required. I also wouldn’t let the school finding out stop you, it is hardly going to be a secret for much longer anyway. If she is certain this is when she fell pregnant I would assume it was the only time she had sex?? I would want to make sure it was consensual.



    I would also be reassuring your daughter of your unconditional love and support. Maybe you can get some aupport for yourself to help you with this, I’m sure the teen midwifery program could suggest something.

    Please don’t feel like you have failed. Teenagers are funny creatures and it’s not always a reflection of their parents.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mum-I-Am For This Useful Post:

    BeyondHappy (03-09-2018),SSecret Squirrel (24-07-2018),SuperGranny (25-07-2018)

  8. #25
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    4,950
    Thanks
    958
    Thanked
    1,323
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Oh wow what a situation for your daughter and you. It has happened and there is not much you can do about it now but deal with it and be there to support your daughter and assist her in raising the baby, unless she adopts it out.
    I'm thinking your daughter wasn't aware she was pregnant either!?

  9. #26
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    1,049
    Thanks
    2,141
    Thanked
    1,919
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I’m a youth worker and I would strongly encourage you to get in contact with your local youth services (often provided by council). She needs adults she can confide in and trust, and this may not be you at times. A youth worker can help open up the communication between her and you. As much as you are “dealing” with this, your adolescent daughter is too, from the perspective of an adolescent girl who is pregnant.

    I’ve worked with young mums/ parents before. It doesn’t have to be shameful or embarrassing. You both need to know that.

    Those that thrive usually are those with supportive parents (not always, Ive seen many successful young parents without the support too).

    As for the Girl Guides situation, the organisation has a grievance process you can access to find out what happened/ make a complaint. This sounds like a massive policy breech or an unfortunate incident (eg another youth group on the same campsite?). Someone needs to be accountable as they had a duty of care towards your daughter. Start with an email. Maybe get someone to proof read it before you hit send!

  10. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MUG81 For This Useful Post:

    granny1 (24-07-2018),Mum-I-Am (24-07-2018),PurpleRain (24-07-2018),SSecret Squirrel (24-07-2018)

  11. #27
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    19,526
    Thanks
    1,602
    Thanked
    9,140
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by freakingout View Post
    Every time I bring it up she doesn't want to discuss it and tells me to leave it. My husband also had his head in the sand. I definitely need to find out exactly what happened at the camp but she hasn't been anywhere with out us and is really a good kid
    Unless you are with her 24/7 I don’t think you can blame the girl guides camp. There are no boys at girl guides camps.

    She could go to her friend’s house after school. She is 13, I’m sure she could find a way.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BigRedV For This Useful Post:

    delirium (24-07-2018),Mum-I-Am (24-07-2018)

  13. #28
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    4,532
    Thanks
    1,754
    Thanked
    4,962
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I understand she's pregnant and that is a big concern, but how she got pregnant is also a concern. I would be getting her all the help required. If this baby was not made out of an act of consensual procreation then there is the possibility for a termination (state dependent). It may still be possible anyway (if that is what she wants), but In would really want to know that she was a willing participant, and who the father is. It's possible she's saying it happened at camp to protect someone much closer to home.

    It's a hard situation all round. I am sorry you are all having to try and cope with this. First and foremost, my daughter's emotional and physical health and well being would be my first priority.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Full House For This Useful Post:

    Calstar (24-07-2018),Mum-I-Am (24-07-2018),SuperGranny (25-07-2018)

  15. #29
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    23,443
    Thanks
    6,442
    Thanked
    18,032
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Unless you are with her 24/7 I don’t think you can blame the girl guides camp. There are no boys at girl guides camps.

    She could go to her friend’s house after school. She is 13, I’m sure she could find a way.
    Yes. I know it's a very sensitive thing atm, but I would say conception probably didn't happen at guides camp. She is probably fearful if she admits it happened at his/her bestie's house you won't let her go there again.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    BH-KatiesMum (24-07-2018),SSecret Squirrel (24-07-2018)

  17. #30
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    479
    Thanks
    303
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    0
    Oh OP, what a difficult situation.

    I feel for your daughter & her future but my immediate thought is whether it was consensual. Did she know what she was getting herself into? Was she respected etc. What does she want to do from here?

    I would be speaking to the guides organisers immediately with claims that your daughter interacted with a boy. You don’t need to disclose what’s happened just yet, but get as much info as you can. The meeting with the boy & his family will be very different if it wasn’t at guides.

    Help her feel safe, but gather as much info as you can at the same time.


 

Similar Threads

  1. How do I handle friends daughter hitting mine?
    By susmamma in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-03-2007, 14:52
  2. The last week.. how did you handle it??
    By Mum&bubs in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 26-10-2006, 22:09
  3. Tantrums - how do you handle your little ones?
    By Chanelc in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-09-2006, 12:55
  4. Tantrums - how do you handle them?
    By supamumma in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-08-2006, 14:19
  5. How d'you handle conversations about 'family' after a loss?
    By MilkOnTap in forum Pregnancy Loss Support
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 30-04-2006, 20:37

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Baby MonitorsLooking to buy a baby monitor? :: Read viewer reviews of baby monitors BEFORE you buy :: Buy at a local or online Baby ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...