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  1. #11
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    How far along is she?

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  3. #12
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    This is such a difficult situation. Your daughter must be terrified. If she doesn’t want to talk with you maybe ask at the young midwives team whether they offer counselling? She will need to know her options and their ramifications. Most importantly she will need to know (and feel) that you support her no matter what. She needs her mum now more than anything

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    Gosh this must have been a terrible shock for you all especially your daughter.

    Have you raised it with the girl guides group - I think I would be quite furious that they weren’t properly supervised and is it normal to have boys attend these things. I do realise kids find ways if they want to. Is it possible she was sexually assaulted? Gosh 13 is too young.

    I guess termination is not an option this late in the piece. So the options are

    - you help her raise it with her being the mum (personally I think 13 is just too young for that huge responsibility)
    - you raise the child with you being the mum
    - place the child up for adoption and know it will go to a very loving family (just have a look at the adoption boards here how many so would love to adopt a baby and cannot have one themselves.

  5. #14
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    I'm not sure if I would know what to do if I was in your position, but I suppose the most important things here are to support your daughter and although the bub is due in 13, as she would be too far along for termination, I don't think that you and your daughter need to rush into a decision just yet if she is not ready to talk. Some decisions could be made after the baby has been born and she has had some time to think and process.
    Great big hugs it must be so stressful..
    I would also be enquiring with the girl Guides and how this possibly happened.

  6. #15
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    Given her complete shutdown when you try & discuss anything related to this, and your mention of her being so petrified, otherwise a very young minded/well behaved girl, I would have to consider the very real chance of the act not being a consensual thing?!

    I would most certainly be speaking with the boy's parents ASAP.

    I too, was under the impression that boys were not involved in girl guides

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  8. #16
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    Wow, you all must be so stressed, I can’t even imagine. I agree with PP’s about her needing time to make a decision, does she know all of her options? There really is no need for you to be ashamed, I’ve no doubt you are an amazing mum and have done as much as you can the right way, these things happen and there is no shame in it. They’re just kids, probably not fully aware of the consequences and the boy, well a 15 year olds hormones probably took over. Do his parents know?

    I really wish you all the best, my oldest is nearly your dd’s age and I don’t know how I would deal with things. I’m glad you seem to have a lot of support groups and organisations around you, October isn’t that far away x

  9. #17
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    I can't bring myself to tell anyone in real life yet, I tried to tell my mum and just couldn't find the words. And as angry as I am I also don't want to talk to any of the guide leaders until I now what were doing because I don't want her school finding out yet, she's in a private school and I know they will ask her to leave. I also have to think about her sister who attends the school.

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by freakingout View Post
    I can't bring myself to tell anyone in real life yet, I tried to tell my mum and just couldn't find the words. And as angry as I am I also don't want to talk to any of the guide leaders until I now what were doing because I don't want her school finding out yet, she's in a private school and I know they will ask her to leave. I also have to think about her sister who attends the school.
    As painful as it will be, I think you need to talk to the girl guide leaders. My girls did guides for years and the camps were strictly females only, no dads allowed to stay as parent helpers. It was a very strict policy and something they adhered to. No exceptions.

    Something has gone very wrong if teenage boys were present. They need to know what happened so they can take measures from it happening again.

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  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by freakingout View Post
    I can't bring myself to tell anyone in real life yet, I tried to tell my mum and just couldn't find the words. And as angry as I am I also don't want to talk to any of the guide leaders until I now what were doing because I don't want her school finding out yet, she's in a private school and I know they will ask her to leave. I also have to think about her sister who attends the school.
    Sorry this may sound silly but does she look pregnant? - I would have thought at 6 months she would have quite an obvious bump in her school uniform. Is it possible people may be suspecting or will soon find out anyway so it’s best to probably do so on your own terms. But completely understand you must still be in a complete state of shock and disbelief.

    If you were to keep the baby and raise it yourself would there be the possibility of moving somewhere completely new for a fresh start?
    Just throwing all options out there.

  13. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by PurpleRain View Post
    Sorry this may sound silly but does she look pregnant? - I would have thought at 6 months she would have quite an obvious bump in her school uniform. Is it possible people may be suspecting or will soon find out anyway so it’s best to probably do so on your own terms. But completely understand you must still be in a complete state of shock and disbelief.

    If you were to keep the baby and raise it yourself would there be the possibility of moving somewhere completely new for a fresh start?
    Just throwing all options out there.
    Now I know she's pregnant I can tell but I just thought she was filling out and she was getting breasts. She's also been very private in the bathroom again I just thought she was being a normal teenager. On Saturday before we took her to the hospital I was feeling her stomach and just thought it was bloated. I just keep running it over in my mind I knew she hadn't had a period in months but I just thought she was young and it would start again soon. I should have known I'm her mother


 

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