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  1. #1
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    Default How do I handle my teenage daughters pregnancy?

    I used to be a member when my children were young and couldn't remember my details so made a new account.

    I need to tell someone get an outside prospective I spose. We have just found out my 13 year old is pregnant, I have failed her I'm ashamed I have no idea what to do. We are a normal loving family I don't know how this could have happened. The baby is due in October and was conceived on a girls guide camp. Over the weekend we took her to hospital thinking she had

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    an appendicitis but she's pregnant. She's in shock, she has not stopped crying. She doesn't understand what's happening and so soon we have 13 weeks to prepare. She's a baby she still plays with Barbie's.

    She's been referred to a young mother midwife team at the hospital. We see them Friday. We haven't talked to the boys parents yet, his 15 and her friends brother. Omg I can't deal with this, I always thought I would cope with anything my children did I'm lost what do I do.

    How do I be there for her when I'm so angry and ashamed, how did I not know.

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    So has she said what she wants to do? I guess it’s too late for termination? Would she consider adoption or would you raise the baby with/for her?

    I don’t do girl guides, do boys go on girl guides camps??

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    I didn’t think boys go on girl guides camps?

    What does she want to do?

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    What are her feelings about it all? I would listen to her very carefully and not overrule her thoughts about the pregnancy and baby!

    I would think she needs to talk with a professional alone and then you need to all talk with a professional together. I also guess you need to talk with the boys parents. I wouldn't bring her to that conversation unless she wanted to be there.

    This would be so difficult for her and you all!

    Find someone you can talk to on your own...professional or a close friend...preferably both!

    as the Mum of a 14 yr old girl I feel so much for you and your family!

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    Every time I bring it up she doesn't want to discuss it and tells me to leave it. My husband also had his head in the sand. I definitely need to find out exactly what happened at the camp but she hasn't been anywhere with out us and is really a good kid

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    What a very scary situation for your daughter to be in. Will the young mother midwife team give her access to counseling services? If not perhaps look at that as a first step, I know that you can claim three visits to a psychologist for pregnancy related matters through medicare after you have been referred to by a doctor.

    I'm not sure there is much you can do now except love and support her. She will need your guidance more than ever now.

    There was an Insight episode on SBS that was about young parents - it may be worth a watch if you haven't already seen it.

    One thing to keep in mind - you didn't fail as a mother. While it's not ideal, these things happen. It can't be changed now so all you can do is help guide your daughter through this challange.

    Good luck x

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    Quote Originally Posted by freakingout View Post
    Every time I bring it up she doesn't want to discuss it and tells me to leave it. My husband also had his head in the sand. I definitely need to find out exactly what happened at the camp but she hasn't been anywhere with out us and is really a good kid
    What about if she talks with a psychologist, midwife or social worker? She may find it easier...I'm not sure! Very hard for you. Might be easier for someone (not family) to talk with.

    Really if she won't talk about how it happened, it may be best to leave it? Handle the issue at hand...being the baby coming in 13 weeks??

    I really don't know, just thinking out loud with the above points...

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    What a difficult situation.

    It sounds like you, and your husband, could do with some support to deal with this. As, of course, could your daughter.

    I’d back what the others have said... make sure she has someone to talk to. It’s all very well to want to pretend it isn’t happening, but there’ll be a baby here very soon. Your daughter and your family need to make some decisions about how you’re going to proceed.

    Other than that...support her. Let her know you love her and support her no matter what. You haven’t failed and nor has she.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PomPoms View Post
    What are her feelings about it all? I would listen to her very carefully and not overrule her thoughts about the pregnancy and baby!

    I would think she needs to talk with a professional alone and then you need to all talk with a professional together. I also guess you need to talk with the boys parents. I wouldn't bring her to that conversation unless she wanted to be there.

    This would be so difficult for her and you all!

    Find someone you can talk to on your own...professional or a close friend...preferably both!

    as the Mum of a 14 yr old girl I feel so much for you and your family!
    Thank you for your kind words. we have spoken with a social worker at the hospital. I think they needed to make sure no abuse had happened to her. the social worker was the one who told me about what happened at camp and who the father was. She's in complete shutdown and I honestly don't blame her. She also went to pregnancy counseling on Monday but was scared and didn't talk to her. She's is a shy immature 13 year old.

    We left counseling agreeing she needs more time to think


 

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