ADVERTISEMENT

Closed Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    86
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0

    Default hints to get family members to have more compassion generosit towards a relative

    Have others managed to go to counselling and improve understanding or kindness towards each other. when relatives have been uncaring or judgemental for years.

    someone who has through no fault of her own been through a very very tough time in many ways for a long long time, their health has suffered and they really need some kindness. .She could have done with a supportive family like others are lucky to have and like my family my children all care for each other and help each other incredibly. But they seem to be totally blind to her and treat her like a whinge instead of see her legitimate extreme hardship and the health problems that hardship has caused . I wish there was a way to open their hearts to finally see, understand and be kind. Have others had success in finally getting others who didnt understand you to finally listen take time care, open their hearts, and help her to have a better life also like they have had always.
    Have others managed to go to counselling or find a way to finally be heard respected cared about understood and have some kindness after years of being cordial but they never give time to listen hear understand care, they just judge and run to help others while their flesh and blood suffers?
    Last edited by angela22; 24-07-2018 at 12:12.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    179
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    112
    Reviews
    0
    No. I just got on with my life because I’m an adult and bad sh!t happens to good people. It was my families choice to support me or not, either way you can’t force an outcome.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    12,825
    Thanks
    8,570
    Thanked
    8,087
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 29/5/15Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week100 Posts in a week
    Depending on specifics, a psychologist would probably suggest they create their own tribe of support around themselves and to give them some coping strategies.

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mamasupial For This Useful Post:

    Lincolns mummy  (22-07-2018),Mum-I-Am  (22-07-2018),SuperGranny  (24-07-2018)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,914
    Thanks
    1,579
    Thanked
    2,947
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I truly believe you need to see a psychologist to work through your issues.
    You can post a million questions and scenarios here but unless your mind and expectations of others are right it’s not going to help.

  6. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Lincolns mummy For This Useful Post:

    Allanahbananah  (22-07-2018),babybeeno1  (22-07-2018),Calstar  (22-07-2018),delirium  (22-07-2018),JR03  (22-07-2018),Mum-I-Am  (22-07-2018),PomPoms  (22-07-2018),rukidding  (22-07-2018),SuperGranny  (24-07-2018)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    5,436
    Thanks
    648
    Thanked
    2,599
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default hints to get family members to have more compassion generosit towards a relative

    Is this about you or someone else?

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,938
    Thanks
    770
    Thanked
    1,743
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger
    The only person you can change is yourself. I think a counselor is a great idea, but the person may be disappointed to find they are given strategies on how to feel and deal with the other people, they won’t be given anything to change the other people.

  9. #7
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is online now Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    24,169
    Thanks
    6,444
    Thanked
    7,226
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week
    if she is your friend - offer your friendship and support.

    you cant change her family, or get them to be more supportive ... not unless you know them well, know and understand the history, reasons, circumstances etc.

  10. #8
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    498
    Thanks
    99
    Thanked
    131
    Reviews
    4
    I couldn’t even get my family member to show up to counselling let alone be supportive.

    And we haven’t spoken for a solid 6 months. Prior to that communications between us were strained post my fathers death.

    In case you’re wondering, I’m talking about my own Mother.

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    4,667
    Thanks
    201
    Thanked
    1,399
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    @angela22 hun I'm seeing a pattern to your posts. They always involve you asking how you can change others. But No matter the circumstances....

    you can't change others, what they do, or how they think, how they treat others etc....its just not possible. The world would be a very messed up place if we could just manipulate eachother as we please, like you're always asking how to do.

    All you can do, control or change is yourself and how You act, how you treat others, how kind you are, how you support others.

    So if you're seeing people struggling with others in their life, please try to remember you can't change them, no matter how you ask, it can't be done.

    Maybe instead of seeking ways to manipulate others to think or do as you think they should, maybe you could be asking for suggestions on how to support the person who is struggling? I'm sure this would be more helpful for them.

    E.g. instead of "I have a beautiful friend but everyone is awful to her and she's struggling, how can I change them to stop them being awful to her?", you could ask... "I have a beautiful friend who is struggling and everyone she knows is being awful, how can I help her?"

  12. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to shadowangel0205 For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (23-07-2018),BettyV  (23-07-2018),BH-KatiesMum  (23-07-2018),Calstar  (23-07-2018),CazHazKidz  (23-07-2018),Happymumlgm  (22-07-2018),JustJaq  (22-07-2018),Mod-DJ Nette  (22-07-2018),Mod-Wise Enough  (23-07-2018)

  13. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    7,380
    Thanks
    1,443
    Thanked
    2,311
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Angela, I think that you would get better responses to your posts if you were more specific.

    Instead of "someone who has through no fault of her own been through a very very tough time in many ways for a long long time"
    Specifically say who that person is to you, what it is they have been through, and what these nasty people are actually doing to her/him. Otherwise it is all meaningless to us. You can be more specific and still remain anonymous. It is hard to give advice or become emotionally invested in a post when there's nothing to go on.

    As the previous poster mentioned, instead of asking how to fix other people to make it better, it might be best to ask how you can help that person yourself. And if we had more specifics we might be able to help you with some actual advice instead of just being confused.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CazHazKidz For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (23-07-2018),JustJaq  (23-07-2018),SuperGranny  (24-07-2018)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 19
    Last Post: 16-12-2008, 13:45
  2. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 23-01-2008, 01:18
  3. Do you have any 'weird' family members, or family scandals?
    By GrumpyBum in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 26-07-2007, 12:29
  4. Do you have different parenting styles to your family members?
    By BlakeNatsMum in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 09-07-2007, 20:21
  5. "I never want to get married or have more kids."
    By SassyMummy in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 15-09-2006, 21:08

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Maternity ClothesLooking to buy maternity clothes? :: Check the bubhub directory of local & online maternity clothes shops :: Find ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Abundant AugustConception & Fertility General Chat
Show me your sewing! #2Crafts and Hobbies
Ttc 2019Conception & Fertility General Chat
Medicare rebatepregnancy and babies through IVF
Gender guess for Mamasupial's 3rd baby!Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›

ADVERTISEMENT