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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    What do you want from us?

    Are you looking for advice on whether or not you should buy your son shoes in addition to child support? Or are you looking for someone to agree with you on your opinion of your ex wife?

    If you are looking for advice on whether or not you are obligated to purchase the shoes for your son, your question has already been answered multiple times - generally child support covers your contribution to raising your child and providing additional money on top is not a legal requirement, however you may wish to purchase the shoes anyway.

    If you are looking for people here to agree with your opinion on your ex wife, you may struggle to find that here.

    There is an old saying "There are three sides to every story - his, hers and the truth". I don't need to know your ex wive's story. I can see from what you have written in your original post that a lot facts were omitted, and your post was written in a manner to portray her as being greedy. That and your reactions to posts disagreeing with you have led me to form the opinion that you are not being upfront and honest.

    For example you mentioned that she was awarded over $1 million in the property settlement, but you did not mention how much you received or the percentage split. For all we know you could have walked away with a similar amount or double what she got. And let's be realistic here, all that happened was that she kept the family home that you both owned outright. It is common nowadays in certain parts of the country for houses to be worth well over a million dollars, it is not a big deal. The fact she was able to keep the family home tells me that you had a lot of other assets in your asset pool that you would have been awarded in the financial settlement.

    You mention that you were paying your exwife $1000 per fortnight in child support at one point, however you did not mention how much you were earning. I've run figures through the Child Support Agency calculator with the assumption your exwife was on a single parent pension only. Child support for one child even at the 100% care level of the mother is capped at $860 per fortnight. I put in income figs of $300,000, $350,000, $500,000 per year and couldn't get past the $860 per fortnight. Which makes me think that you were either lying about the amount you were paying in child support OR have a binding financial agreement for child support. If that is the case, it would have been drawn up by lawyers and you would have agreed to it. I fail to see how it makes your exwife greedy? I actually think a binding financial agreement is the smart thing to do when one of the parties is running their own business - it protects both of you - lower child support for the payer in the boom years and protects the person who receives child support in the bust years.

    At any rate, the amount both of you received in the financial split, and the amount you used to pay in child support before you went bankrupt didn't really have anything to do with your question about the shoes, so I'm not sure why you mentioned either in the first place.

    I have been through a divorce. Your post has not challenged me. My experiences with the family court have made me see a lot of gaps in your story though.
    Exactly! Well said.

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    SSecret Squirrel (04-07-2018)

  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Icul View Post
    Now whose bitter? And again hypocritical? Complaining about your ex and what he hasn’t given you and that you will make sure your son knows this.

    Sorry as a parent I thought a parent forum was a place I could go for support from similar parents in this situation. That’s why I joined.
    I actually don’t give a toss about him you know why Wife beaters are scum and that is all he is with an avo against him. Also my son was also victim of his hands as a baby and can actually remember all of this and he knows it was his bio dad that did it to him. Kids have memories also. He was also sent a letter saying I hope you die. Real classy parent hey.

    Buy the damned shoes. Go to Kmart and spend $10 on a pair and stop complaining about it.

    You’ve been given plenty of advice by a lot of people ! Just follow it. If you don’t like the legitimate advice given to you then consult your lawyers only

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    SSecret Squirrel (04-07-2018)

  5. #33
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    @stacey10 bio dad in my case isn’t allowed to come anywhere near us at all and my family to as we have an AVO in place. If he does he’ll be locked up for breach of conditions. My son knows it all. He was a victim to abuse when little like me. He used to receive hate mail with abuse and threats written in them pointed directly at him. I got them to so did my family. Hence the AvO in place.

  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Icul View Post
    I can assure you I am over my ex - I left her. And if it wasnt for my son - I would never want to see or have anything to do with her again and that is a justified and well reasoned position based on my experiences - but feel free to attack me over that too!

    I don’t think someone living in a $1.3 million house should be eligible for Legal Aid if they were an “honest” person and provided “honest” information in their application. But again go for attack me over that again. Shouldn’t you be annoyed that someone has lied to legal aid and is using tax payers funds to find their legal case?

    But have another go and make more assumptions and accusations. And just again for records reaffirm your labels and accusations - with your confirmation of “your assumptions of me”
    Never said you weren't over your ex but there sure is great animosity towards her. Which I keep stating is not in the best interests of the child for you to be holding against her. Hard to understand why you do when you are the one who instigated the separation.

    And again the support suggested and statements made that she is not all rosy are not acknowledged. But all your responses are that you are being victimised here in this forum. You have been given very sound advice by the very people you say are judging your motives by this post. You possibly need to get over yourself and take heed of their advice and stop waffling on about the wrongs of your ex.

    So my assumptions are actually made on everything you have said and the way you have said them.

    Good luck with everything and I hope your son gets a nice pair of shoes from you.

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    babybeeno1 (04-07-2018)

  8. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybeeno1 View Post
    I actually don’t give a toss about him you know why Wife beaters are scum and that is all he is with an avo against him. Also my son was also victim of his hands as a baby and can actually remember all of this and he knows it was his bio dad that did it to him. Kids have memories also. He was also sent a letter saying I hope you die. Real classy parent hey.

    Buy the damned shoes. Go to Kmart and spend $10 on a pair and stop complaining about it.

    You’ve been given plenty of advice by a lot of people ! Just follow it. If you don’t like the legitimate advice given to you then consult your lawyers only
    I’m very sorry that was your experience - none of that is acceptable - ever.

    But you seem to be taking out your experiences on me - I asked a legitimate question in a parent forum.

    As I said I have had some good advice from
    people in a similar situation.

    Your situation is nothing like mine.

  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybeeno1 View Post
    @stacey10 bio dad in my case isn’t allowed to come anywhere near us at all and my family to as we have an AVO in place. If he does he’ll be locked up for breach of conditions. My son knows it all. He was a victim to abuse when little like me. He used to receive hate mail with abuse and threats written in them pointed directly at him. I got them to so did my family. Hence the AvO in place.
    Terrible - again these experiences are not part of my situation at all. I’m sorry that it does seem to be in your and others lives.

  10. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by emilysmumma View Post
    Never said you weren't over your ex but there sure is great animosity towards her. Which I keep stating is not in the best interests of the child for you to be holding against her. Hard to understand why you do when you are the one who instigated the separation.

    And again the support suggested and statements made that she is not all rosy are not acknowledged. But all your responses are that you are being victimised here in this forum. You have been given very sound advice by the very people you say are judging your motives by this post. You possibly need to get over yourself and take heed of their advice and stop waffling on about the wrongs of your ex.

    So my assumptions are actually made on everything you have said and the way you have said them.

    Good luck with everything and I hope your son gets a nice pair of shoes from you.
    “Waffling” “get over yourself” “victim” thanks again.

    I’m not a victim I’m merely just highlighting that you and some others have decided to get personal about my pist and choose to label , name call and accuse - you all keep talking about keep to facts etc - but you keep making slurs towards me and accusing me of all sorts of things.

    Your advice was appreciated - all views are - but there is/was no need to lace your responses with unnecessary attacks. Not once in any post have I made slurs towards you or others criticising me.

    If you don’t like my question I asked and your experience isn’t the same as mine then maybe can I suggest that you leave it to people in a similar situation.

    Thanks and good luck to you and your family.

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    hoping4asticky1 (07-07-2018)

  12. #38
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    @babybeeno1 I also have had a similar situation to you with another two of my children, left the bio dad when one was 3 and the other 4, my husband also did the same with them as to bringing them up etc, we had an avo etc and the kids, when they were older still managed to track him down without my knowledge, sometimes through all they have experienced that biological thing ticks in them, thankfully these two realised he wasn’t good, hopefully you’ll manage to miss all of that with your son

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    babybeeno1 (04-07-2018)

  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Icul View Post
    “Waffling” “get over yourself” “victim” thanks again.

    I’m not a victim I’m merely just highlighting that you and some others have decided to get personal about my pist and choose to label , name call and accuse - you all keep talking about keep to facts etc - but you keep making slurs towards me and accusing me of all sorts of things.

    Your advice was appreciated - all views are - but there is/was no need to lace your responses with unnecessary attacks. Not once in any post have I made slurs towards you or others criticising me.

    If you don’t like my question I asked and your experience isn’t the same as mine then maybe can I suggest that you leave it to people in a similar situation.

    Thanks and good luck to you and your family.
    Have been in a similar situation. With my ex husband when we were married, his ex-wife always would contact child support claiming he was earning all sorts of money and she wasn't getting any of it. She was paid the allotted child support amount and given cash in hand on a fortnightly basis as well as money towards other extra expenses like musical instruments etc. We came back from our honeymoon to an audit from child support as she thought she was dobbing him in for a business he had just established.
    He chose to separate from her and left with a car and a suitcase. She got the house, other car, gold bullion, cash and everything else. She was upset that he got remarried 6 years after their divorce and held great animosity towards him.

    So yes I feel I can contribute to the conversation and as it is a public forum anyone can have their say.

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Icul View Post
    What I was asking for was advice from people in a similar situation - what I got was attacked, labelled by a few people who think that’s ok.

    My story as you call it is not all here - it’s too long to share - I shared what I thought (not what you thought) was relevant. Of course there are holes in information - there’s 5 years of content.

    I’ve had some good advice from people in similar situations which I am thankful for - but you have just attacked and criticised everything I have said from the start and I don’t know why you even bother to keep enagaging - I don’t want anything from you - you are not in a similar situation - but just seem keen to go on the attack - which is sad.
    I continue to engage because you keep on quoting me.

    I have pointed out that you have included information in your post that I believe was only included to portray your wife in a certain manner. That isn't an attack.


 

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