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  1. #491
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    White Mage is offline Today has been cancelled, go back to bed.
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    That is wonderful LoveLivesHere!!

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    LoveLivesHere (05-12-2019)

  3. #492
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdgirl View Post
    How did you manage her anxiety without meds?
    My 11 year old isn’t on meds. He has anxious outbursts but not constant anxiety like his siblings. Which is why I haven’t wanted to try them so far. As he’s getting older though so many more things are triggering him.
    Sorry what is SAD? I will try google
    Social Aniexty Disorder.

    God knows how we survived. Lots threapy and trying to as understanding as possible. Finding the triggers for us was the biggest thing. Lots of planning and compromise on our part. Things like us (hubby and I) not going to prom because having family and school friends mix cause Aniexty. Her groups of friends have to kept separated. It really hurt not go and comments from other parents and teachers etc were tge worst but we know she was able to go and have fun because we removed a big trigger.
    Big hugs

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  5. #493
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    Last few days of school.
    I can honestly say the dread for the holidays has finally begun. Anxiety is getting me right now.

  6. #494
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    Hi all, sorry if it's inappropriate to post this here, and if it's too long and boring please just ignore me. I don't know if my son is on the spectrum or not, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. I've pasted this straight out of my diary so that's why it reads the way it does. I couldn't type it all out again, but would love to chat about my boy. Thanks!

    DS1, H, - Sigh. I love this kid, but he's such a concern for me. He's such a beautiful boy, kind, sweet, loving. He loves his swimming and his hip hop and Oztag. He loves music and math, loves singing and playing his sax. He loves and is good at both reading and drawing. He is always happy and laughing and joking, happy to go to school every day and does well in most areas. BUT he struggles with putting his thoughts into words. Both on paper or spoken. He can't write assignments or speeches, he can't hold a serious conversation, he often says things that seem rude or blunt or inappropriate simply because he leaves out all the context. He often gets in trouble at school, simply because when it comes to doing any work that involves him needing to write anything that's not just a simple fact or answer, he not only can't do it, but he won't. He also struggles with friendships, I think because of the way he communicates, other boys seem to take advantage of him.
    These communication issues became apparent last year in grade 3, and his teachers approached me concerned. I had a behavioral optometrist check his vision and an audiologist do an auditory processing disorder exam and everything came back clear. I made it clear to his teacher this year that he had trouble with this, however, she has not assisted him in any way and continues to get annoyed at him when he won't do his work.
    In his last term, their assessment included doing speeches. Now, he can deliver a speech perfectly - he can read it word for word, giving expression in all the right areas - but there's no way he can write a speech. The kids were told to prepare their speeches at home as their homework, however, as H can not and will not do this, he didn't even tell me about it, and so his weekly speeches were not being written as I didn't know. Each week a couple of kids were called up to give their speech. Well, week 3 and H was called up. He had not done his speech. He told his teacher he was not prepared - and his teacher- who knows his issues, proceeded to tell him to make it up on the spot and it was his own fault for not doing his homework. When he couldn't do it she continued to push him and threaten him with a detention if he didn't start talking.
    So.... shortly after this, my beautiful boy has picked up a few Tic's. He can NOT stop aggressively blinking. He also can't stop twisting his shirt, and keeps making a "tutting" noise when he's speaking. I've taken him to the GP, and she's done up a mental health plan and he's now seeing a psychologist (he went for the first time last week). The psych spoke to me first, and after I described Hayden to him, one of the first things he said was "have you had him tested for ASD?". I'm not sure where we go from here. We will have to go back to the psychologist quite a few times obviously, but I don't know if he does the assessing? Or if I need to go back to the GP and discuss the next steps?
    I really just want to have something firm to hold on to that I can take to the school and say you need to HELP him not get annoyed at him. Just because he is good at almost everything else, doesn't mean he doesn't need some very major help in this area. Please.... just help him.

  7. #495
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    I saw your journal entry, it’s good you decided to come here and ask. I’m sure the ladies here will have some advice/info for you.
    Myself I have two asd sons. One has an intellectual impairment and one is what I would call pretty classic moderate autism. Like he’s probably right in the middle of the rainbow type of thing.
    He does all the things that are stereotyped for asd and he’s fairly socially inept. He very much has his own world.

    The way you describe your son, if he is on the spectrum I would say he’s high functioning, what used to be termed Aspergers.
    Does he have any obsessive tendencies? Like things he’s very passionate about (gaming, certain movies etc sport things like that). Did you have any concerns at all as he was growing up with milestones? Probably especially speech?
    Dismiss that asd kids aren’t social because they can be very much so and they also do give eye contact. They can also be very affectionate and tactile with communicating affection.

    His problems with writing sound like my daughter and son who have adhd. Both are not the hyper active type. They also have anxiety which I would say comes from their adhd with their brain being unable to regulate emotions and plan actions etc.

    If you can google adhd and you will likely find a magazine online called ADDitude. They have lots of good info on there.
    Often adhd and asd go together and sometimes a kid will have neither but a lot of traits.
    I’m unfamiliar with tics. I think they can stem from anxiety? People will do what’s called stimming. It’s a way to calm themselves. My daughter will rock back and forth but her meds stop that (life interfering). My eldest son pulls his hair out sometimes. My middle son is always making sound effect noises or humming. Youngest son often twirls his hair. That sort of thing. It could be that?
    It’s great you are seeing someone now. Right now at this moment is the perfect time to help him navigate his challenges so he has a better future. I have had people close to me who were ignored as teens and have struggled all their life.

    No one wants to be put into boxes but unfortunately I’ve found in the education system you need your box otherwise your needs and ability will be ignored.

    All the best x

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    CazHazKidz (18-12-2019),Mod-Degrassi (18-12-2019),White Mage (22-12-2019)

  9. #496
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    Hi @CazHazKidz

    I definitely think that having him assessed is a good idea. Some of the items of concern for you are consistent with ASD.

    I think at this point, if he does get diagnosed, it will actually be really helpful. Some parents are scared of their child being 'labelled', but I honestly don't know where we'd be with DS now if he hadn't been diagnosed. He would be considered 'difficult' and be treated as an inconvenience. Instead, his additional needs are accommodated for and we've had access to loads of funded therapy though the NDIS. At school, his class mates know he is different, but they really look after him and help him. They also steer him in the right direction if he's doing something wrong.

    Like your son, my DS really dislikes and struggles with handwriting. He particularly finds it hard when it's not factual material - like if he read a story book and someone asked him to write about why one of the characters reacted a certain way or how they felt, this task is difficult for him. He is really capable at maths, but struggles to show workings (he can mentally come up with the answer though).

    You are on the right path with getting him seen to by a child psych. Next session, just ask them what the next steps are in relation to pursuing a diagnosis. As Bluebirdgirl mentioned, I think if he does get diagnosed, it will be level 1 ASD on the milder end of the spectrum.

    Best of luck moving forward - feel free to join us here any time. Happy to answer any questions

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  11. #497
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    I agree that there's some things in there that sound both like adhd and asd, the psych is a great place to start. Hopefully they can give you some answers and move you in the right direction. Over time you'll probably get to know them very well, and probably work with a child psychiatrist too if you end up looking at medication.
    Once you're ready for it, an OT that specialises in behavioral conditions will probably help too! Good luck Caz

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  13. #498
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    A lot of great advice. I wish you luck Caz. Tell us how it all goes.

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  15. #499
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    I hope everyone had a good Christmas!
    We went to my step sisters house this year, ds2 survived about 2hrs before DH took him home.
    We are surviving the holidays so far.
    I have an NDIA meeting on the 9th to go over the boys new plans.. but I think we might heading straight to go for an appeal.... I dont think we were successful in getting DS2s communication device.

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    The lack of the routine and structure school is bringing lots of meltdowns. One big thing that has happened is we have finally graduated out of pull ups completely where previously DS2 was still requiring them for night time.


 

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