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  1. #451
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greycloud View Post
    Hi,
    Thank you very much! Its nice to see support when you need it most! Where are you from?
    I think this was for me? 😛

    I’m in Queensland.
    My eldest son started in mainstream school but did a few years in special school when we moved town. At that point here, asd didn’t qualify for special school. He has an intellectual impairment as well.
    I don’t know if anything has changed. I home educate via distance education (private school). We didn’t have a good experience with mainstream school with any of my kids, but there was a lot of factors involved. I’ve been home educating for 7 years now.

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    Hi Guys,

    I have couple of questions that has been bugging me and look forward for your inputs

    1)my DS is on ASD and we would like to try for another child mainly because we dont want him to be alone in life and having a sibling can help. However from what i heard there are high chances that my future children can also be affected with asd. We got our genes tested and dr confirmed that my DS condition is not through genes. So guess just wanted to know in your experience , has there been any positive stories and will there be less probability as my first one didnt have this through the genes. Are there any tests at all we can used to identify this before?I know nobody can say but just trying to get some hope through somepositive stories!

    2) my next question is how do you manage when you and your partner has to go out ? We dont have any family here and havent tried babysitters yet. But are there any programs or centers where i can leave my child safely for few hours in a weekend or so , just so we could spend some time for our selves. It has been really tough on us as we literally have to care for him all the time and completely get exhausted. The fun and entertainment part of our lives is completely disappeared.So will be a great help of somebody can take care of him atleast 1-2 hrs .

  3. #453
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    That’s interesting, I hadn’t thought of autism not being genetic. Looking back at family members it’s easy to see many undiagnosed people in both sides of my family. I just happened to marry twice to people who also had asd and adhd in their family but it wasn’t obvious at the time we met.
    My second husband was diagnosed with add and placed on the autism spectrum at age 35.
    I had a lot of sensory issues and anxiety as a child.
    All of my kids are either on the autism spectrum or have add/adhd. Two different dads and 6 kids.
    I’m interested to hear what others say because I haven’t known anyone personally who had a totally neurotypical child and one with asd. I’ve really only known bigger families with 4 kids and they were much the same as myself.

    I’ve always only left my kids with my mum and now that she’s ageing it’s getting harder. My 5 year old can still be like a toddler.
    My eldest son has a carer through the ndis. I don’t know if asd qualifies for a carer but I’m sure someone else will.

  4. #454
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    @Greycloud

    1) I don’t believe there are any tests to determine this. It’s a tough decision, as you really have to prepare for the chance the next child could have ASD as well. I know families with their first born having ASD but the younger sibling does not. I also know families who have more than one ASD child. I stopped at one child for a few reasons - one of them was the concern that I’d have a 2nd child with higher needs than my existing child. It’s a personal choice. My family has always felt complete with just the 3 of us, but a lot of people don’t feel that way and sorely want more children.

    2) If DH and I want a rare outing alone, we have a very responsible 18 year old babysitter who looks after DS. We only started using her a year ago - prior to that I’d get my mum to babysit on rare occasions, but she lives an hour away now so it’s not practical. Also on some occasions only one of us would attend social events while the other stayed home and looked after DS (not ideal).

    Have you got funding through the NDIS? You might qualify for some funding for respite care (especially if you have no family support to help out).

  5. #455
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greycloud View Post
    Hi Guys,

    I have couple of questions that has been bugging me and look forward for your inputs

    1)my DS is on ASD and we would like to try for another child mainly because we dont want him to be alone in life and having a sibling can help. However from what i heard there are high chances that my future children can also be affected with asd. We got our genes tested and dr confirmed that my DS condition is not through genes. So guess just wanted to know in your experience , has there been any positive stories and will there be less probability as my first one didnt have this through the genes. Are there any tests at all we can used to identify this before?I know nobody can say but just trying to get some hope through somepositive stories!

    2) my next question is how do you manage when you and your partner has to go out ? We dont have any family here and havent tried babysitters yet. But are there any programs or centers where i can leave my child safely for few hours in a weekend or so , just so we could spend some time for our selves. It has been really tough on us as we literally have to care for him all the time and completely get exhausted. The fun and entertainment part of our lives is completely disappeared.So will be a great help of somebody can take care of him atleast 1-2 hrs .
    Both my boys have ASD and ADHD, they are the first known cases in both sides of the family. We too had testing and it is not genetic in our family.
    I was actually told during our years in early intervention that with each consequetive child your chances of ASD get higher.
    I know families where all kids are affected, and then I know families where only one child is.

    I am pretty much doing it on my own, most days, its not easy at all. But you learn to work with it. And with lots of strategies that you learn through therapy and such, you learn to bring them in to every day things, its a bit of work at first, buuuut eventually it becomes routine that it just gets easier.
    I had my first time by myself last holiday, longer then a few hours. First time in almost 11yrs.
    My hubby and I only get to go out once a year if we are lucky.
    Being an ASD parent can be a lonely life. When and if you apply for NDIS you can apply for respite, but you have to have some REAL good explanations as to why your kid needs it.

  6. #456
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    I’m in NSW (Hunter Region).

    What level of ASD has your DS been diagnosed with? If he’s level 3, he might be better off starting in a special school. It would be worth enquiring whether these special schools have transport schemes in place for children who don’t live close by.

    Have you been looking at public or private mainstream schools? I didn’t think public schools were allowed to discriminate against kids with additional needs.
    They can not discriminate, but they can sure make you feel unwelcome.
    When we were looking at schools for DS1, I visited a school before he was diagnosed. Got a really good tour, lots of information, was fun. When DS1 was finally old enough, we took him a long and at this point he was diagnosed. The moment we mentioned he was diagnosed and in the process of finding out whether he qualified for school funding. The tour lasted half as long, he just wanted us to go, and pretty much told us to come back when we know he has funding... It turned me off straight away, which was a shame because I thought the school was amazing the first time I went through.
    Luckily for us, our 2nd choice ended up being the best choice.

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    Grey clouds - From what we know so far there's no genes that specifically indicate autism. There are some gene makers that are now common in people with autism, but you can have autism without them, and have the genes without autism. You can also have hereditary or familial asd without having the specific tested genes.
    There is an increased rate of autism in families where there is already a diagnosis. As to what the risk is for you... We just don't know enough about autism to give any ball park figures at all.
    Bluebirdgirl - there's lots of asd on my first husbands side, our child (his first) has a diagnosis. His second child with someone else does not. I don't think she is from what I've heard, but I don't know enough to even consider either side of that fence so 1 diagnosed asd, 1 considered neurotypical.

    Grey clouds - For help and time out, he's got a few friends that are willing to have him over for play dates or sleep overs. But that's a big thing for both the family taking them, and the family letting them go. I had to reconcile allowing others to care for my son really early because of the way my separation and divorce unfolded it's not for everyone though.
    Once you have funding, you can also use ndis for community access. Paying a carer to take your child to anywhere that can help him (and you), of even having him at home for some further development support.

  8. #458
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    Hope everyone is doing fine.

    We are now coming down to the wire for our NDIA plans. I have DS1's meeting at the end of this month, but DS2's still has no date, his current plan expires in the first week of December, I am getting worried that we wont get this date when we need it... I am super peeved cause we were confirmed an earlier meeting... and still nothing. I have been in contact with the NDIA and the LAC person and no available appointments..

    I am super tired. Super dooper tired.

  9. #459
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greycloud View Post
    Hi Guys,

    I have couple of questions that has been bugging me and look forward for your inputs

    1)my DS is on ASD and we would like to try for another child mainly because we dont want him to be alone in life and having a sibling can help. However from what i heard there are high chances that my future children can also be affected with asd. We got our genes tested and dr confirmed that my DS condition is not through genes. So guess just wanted to know in your experience , has there been any positive stories and will there be less probability as my first one didnt have this through the genes. Are there any tests at all we can used to identify this before?I know nobody can say but just trying to get some hope through somepositive stories!

    2) my next question is how do you manage when you and your partner has to go out ? We dont have any family here and havent tried babysitters yet. But are there any programs or centers where i can leave my child safely for few hours in a weekend or so , just so we could spend some time for our selves. It has been really tough on us as we literally have to care for him all the time and completely get exhausted. The fun and entertainment part of our lives is completely disappeared.So will be a great help of somebody can take care of him atleast 1-2 hrs .
    I'm late to the party replying to this, but for what it's worth I think as others have said it's hard to predict the chances of another child with ASD. My DD was one of the small percentage (we were told about 10%) of autistic children who do show an identifiable likely genetic underlying reason. She is missing a part of a chromosome. No family history of ASD on either side for us and neither DH nor I are carriers of the chromosome part-deletion so it's likely a spontaneous genetic cause. It's something for her to think about as she gets older if she wants to consider children of her own.

    We have family close by who can look after our kids so we are in a different situation for you. Both of ours went to family daycare though and the daycare educator did offer weekend services too, so that might be an option in your area?

  10. #460
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    Quote Originally Posted by White Mage View Post
    Hope everyone is doing fine.

    We are now coming down to the wire for our NDIA plans. I have DS1's meeting at the end of this month, but DS2's still has no date, his current plan expires in the first week of December, I am getting worried that we wont get this date when we need it... I am super peeved cause we were confirmed an earlier meeting... and still nothing. I have been in contact with the NDIA and the LAC person and no available appointments..

    I am super tired. Super dooper tired.
    That sounds stressful WhiteMage. I hope you get your DS2's review date soon

    I'm also exhausted - I think it's the time of year. Trying to find some things to recharge the batteries before the chaos of end of school/Christmas.

    DD goes to camp next week. She's so excited!


 

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