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  1. #1241
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    Quote Originally Posted by Notalone View Post
    I am the same @Phia. I have been open with most people, but have held back with others. If we are lucky to have a baby, we will need to think about how and when we tell our child. @Moc24, it is a personal choice and I get why you may choose to keep it to yourself.
    I was in the tell all camp for ages, but now im not so sure. This has been my journey and that part is the smallest detail there has been sooooooo many other aspects that i dont even mention that part.
    The way i look at it is there mine. Theyve been mine since the moment i found out how many there was. Ive held my breath waiting for them to develop day 1-5 ive woried about them had sleepless nights about them and tears of joy about them.
    I paid for them. They are mine.
    Thats all there is too it.
    Kinda similar to last year when i made a bad hair choice ( undercut dont ever get one let alone half of your head shaved -yep looked cool ***** to grow back) i got reqlly dramatic long hair extensions awaiting my hair to grow back. People kept telling me my hair was gorgeous is it yours. Im like yep i paid for it its mine. I didnt grow it but its mine. Lol.
    I think as time moves on i may change my mind. I may not this will be a conversation i will have with my potential children in time but for now its our little secret

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Nilza79 For This Useful Post:

    Notalone (22-12-2017),Phia (22-12-2017)

  3. #1242
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    @Nilza79 that's the bit the plays on my mind and in part, where i choose to filter information - the part where people might think that somehow our babies are not mine. They are mine. It might sound weird but I love my embryos and think about them all the time. The other people i keep it from are people with strong religious beliefs. I have an aunty whom i love dearly, she's very religious though and I'm not sure she truly believes in Ivf let alone ivf with DE. She tells me to have faith in God and how a 60 year old woman gave birth (which she believes occurred naturally - without any assistance!). I'm also someone who would never make it as an undercover agent. In some ways, because this cycle failed for us, i think that even people who may have wondered if we went to greece for DE have assumed that it was with my OE becausr it failed...

  4. #1243
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    So eloquently put @gorgeousgeorge xx

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    kefbub (28-12-2017)

  6. #1244
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    @Gorgeous George Said:
    "what i have seen others experience along the way is that a "good" cycle from a normal healthy young fertile person would yeild about 10 eggs on average or somewhere between 8-12 eggs. Of those you could expect 2 blastocysts that would become babies if put into a "healthy" uterus. Ive heard of people ending up eith more eggs and frosty blastocytes BUT havent ever heard of them ever making more than 2 or 3 babies from one ivf cycle. So de ivf will only give you the odds of a "normal" person, which is 2 babies out of 10 eggs or 20%. I would say that if you ended up with less than 8 eggs, or or only 2-3 embryos on day 3 or only 1 blasty on day 5 then that would be a bad donor cycle and that would indicate a poor donor or an undiagnosed problem with sperm"


    @gorgeousgeorge this part of one of your previous posts really stood out to me and gave me a good dose of reality so i wanted to thank you for it. I hit the thankyou button but i didn't feel it was enough! 😊 I hadn't previously read too much about the success rates (i was aware that it was higher than OE but not 100%).

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  8. #1245
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    @Kalina how are you feeling today?

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    Notalone (22-12-2017)

  10. #1246
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    Thanks @Moc24. I'm pretty low, I won't lie. Planning next steps has always helped me cope so far. Now that's harder, largely but not only because of my partner's stance.

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    Notalone (22-12-2017)

  12. #1247
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    Of course internally I'm still doing a cost-benefit analysis of returning to transfer the frozen embryos I don't have much confidence in. But it's all internal because in his head we've drawn a line under this sh*tty chapter. They're doing my bloods tomorrow, after which I hope to get a cold hard appraisal of the cycle.

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  14. #1248
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    Oh @Kalina I am sending you lots of hugs. I can hear your pain through your posts. I am sitting here trying to imagine how i would feel if my DH wanted to stop even though i had frozen embies available... With all due respect, it only makes sense to me if money is an issue (we all hit our limits eventually). Otherwise, i can't understand it - you've done the hard part already. The difficulty is that when there are 2 people involved, it's important to talk it through so that you're both on the same page. You need to set some goals and boundaries. Otherwise, it can be difficult to know when to stop. Having said that, it's equally as important to revisit and review the agreement to see if anything has changed. We had that discussion when we did our cycles using OE. We agreed we would try DE (ICSI) and keep going until the embies run out. I think if we get to that point, we will have another conversation. I am sure you've had a similar conversation. But I am not sure if your DH has understood how you're feeling about things. Pick your moment and start the conversation again. Xx
    Last edited by Notalone; 22-12-2017 at 22:17.

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  16. #1249
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    New thread over here.


 

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