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  1. #11
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    @homax sounds pretty darn cute.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tinachris For This Useful Post:

    Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017),Holmax (30-11-2017)

  3. #12
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    Default New section - fertility disappointments

    Hi old friends

    I can’t believe I’m back posting on here but I couldn’t read this thread & just go without saying Hi & sharing big hugs with some old mates.

    I hear you with the grief over being childless & knowing that if it never does happen there is no one who really is going to give a sh1t about you - ever.

    I’m probably a few steps ahead of most of you here - I’m older & I did draw that line & have come to accept that I will be childless.

    Ten natural pregnancies of eleven babies who never made it past 8 weeks, six rounds of failed IVF, one overseas donor egg cycle fail & nearly dying from the meds & I’m done.

    The grief nearly killed me, but I’m still here.

    It is hard to accept that no child will ever look at me with love, there will be no first smiles, first day of school, no being a proud mumma, no Christmas mornings, no grandchildren, no one to tell my stories to, no one to really care about who I am & how I got to be me.

    And the old age thing is frightening. I am the power of attorney for an 89 year old lady with no family & she was so abused & ripped off by people before I took over. They were going to shove her in a nursing home & forget her, even though she has the money for private care at home. They were hoping she’d die so they could get their hands on her money. It’s sad without any family.

    This Christmas my husband & I are going away so that we don’t have to be home at Christmas. @Holmax I love your doggie gifts idea - I’d do the same but I’m estranged from all my family so have no one to gift to anyway...

    Sometimes it really doesn’t work out. I will never be the person I was before infertility. It destroyed me. The person I am now is ok, but it’s a long hard road to be anything close to normal.
    Last edited by Summer; 30-11-2017 at 23:48.

  4. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Summer For This Useful Post:

    Ashling (20-03-2018),Butterfly Baby (01-12-2017),Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017),Deskar (22-12-2017),gingermillie (30-11-2017),Holmax (01-12-2017),Legally Brown (29-08-2018),Mod-DJ Nette (01-12-2017),Phia (01-12-2017),Tinachris (01-12-2017)

  5. #13
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    @Summer it’s nice to hear from you after so long. I was just thinking of you last week. I’m glad you are okay. I think you are pretty amazing x

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    Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017),Phia (01-12-2017),Summer (01-12-2017)

  7. #14
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    Hi Ladies .

    Personally I decided to draw the line when I no longer had hope. Without hope there was no point in continuing.

    Over the last 6 years of TTC, including several IUI’s & IVF cycles, I have never been pregnant. In the end I guess I also lost sight of what I was even fighting for.

    I get so p!ssed off when people around me say “you can’t just give up now, keep cycling, you will eventually get your baby in the end, it will all be worth it”. My friends just assume if you do enough cycles that you are eventually guaranteed success. No one acknowledges the cold hard reality that not everyone will win in this game and walk away with a baby in their arms.

    I actually feel like I have a split personality at the moment. I successfully run my own business during the day, happily conversing with my workers and clients, socialising and laughing with friends on the weekends, but then in my quiet moments at home when I am alone, the tears just fall.

    @Summer I’m sorry for what you have been through and that you have drawn the line also. Does the pain and sadness ever lessen over time? Will I ever truly be able to move on from this?

    @Holmax, I love my dogs too. They are the one thing in my life that bring me pure happiness and joy. I love your Xmas gift idea!

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    Deskar (22-12-2017),Holmax (05-12-2017),Summer (02-12-2017)

  9. #15
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    Hi again @Chocolate Rain.
    I like your comment and just wanted to say I like your split personality comment. I feel like that often. X

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    Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017)

  11. #16
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    Same here - total split personality.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Froyo For This Useful Post:

    Chocolate Rain (07-12-2017)

  13. #17
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    anyone over christmas yet

  14. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmax View Post
    Yes I hate Christmas. I was over it last month.
    ok good

  15. #19
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    I think, I can also join here. I'm a complete newbie here, trying to make new friends. BUT, unfortunately not new to infertility. Our story goes back to 2014, from that time my family didn't didn't grow. My endo getting on me more severely and I almost stop believing we'll ever succeed with treatments. Here's what we've got up to this time. IUI#1-BFN adding cysts. IUI#2 - cancelled spontaneously. IUI#3 - Nov'17BFNand a complete heartbreak. Moving onto IVF in 2018. IVF #1 -ER (15follies, 14 eggs, only 6 mature, only 3 fertilised), transferof 2blasts, BFN (beta 0.1). Lap Mar'18 - another check for endo(CA 125levels came higher). IVF #2 - hopefully in May- June. We're passing our next cycle overseas, because want to get some guarantees. I mean this is not when just for add clinic says - we're the best, we'll do it. But refund money if the rounds are unsuccessful. With much of hope we are getting prepared for the new cycle. We follow 'fertility' diet together with dh taking vitamins and doing yoga. Wrote about it somewhere here. So I hope we'll see whether all these improvements would make sense. Wish everyone the best of luck on the way!

  16. #20
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    thinkin of you all...really truly am

    Helen


 

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