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  1. #1
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    Default New section - fertility disappointments

    We've created this new area where you can get support for fertility disappointments. You can share your feelings openly and rant as much as you want.

    These are some of the things that members said they wanted a section for:
    • People to write their stories (no-one wants to know IVF isn’t 100% but it is very hard to find stories of moving on out there)
    • Miscarriage through IVF - I know there is a pregnancy loss section, however when you have a miscarriage through IVF, there may not be any tomorrows. That may have been the last embryo and no funds to go again. Sometimes there is no “try again next month”
    • Maybe a rant area. It is nice to be able to get something of your chest but you don’t want to come back and be told “At least/ you should be grateful / That’s nothing compared to”

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    Wild Rose (02-11-2017)

  3. #2
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    Default New section - fertility disappointments

    @Holmax I completely understand how you feel. We were trying for a baby for fours years before we tried ivf. We did 3 transfers and managed to fall pregnant which I am so thankful for. I remember thinking even up to Henry being born how I viewed my life without a child. I didn't know how I could live like that. I am not sure I could have coped not falling pregnant at all. I felt it meant my life was meaningless. Of course it could have been awesome without a child but I didn't want that. I do read some of the similar posts to the one you mentioned and think how ungrateful some people are. I guess it's all relative to their situations. Those who've never struggled don't think about others who have.

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    Btae (09-03-2018),Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017),Holmax (20-11-2017)

  5. #3
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    It is just so very unfair @Holmax. I have no doubt that you deserve a baby in your arms. It breaks my heart that some have to struggle so much and it is just so unfair that there are women who want to a child more than anything that are childless. Please don’t be hard on yourself, hearing of other people’s BFP’s is really tough so just do what you need to to protect your heart. It can be hard to celebrate for others. For me, it’s like someone has won tattslotto and we are all supposed to buy them gifts, tell them how proud we are of them, toast them etc. Meanwhile, the infertile people who really need support get nothing, no gifts, no encouragement etc. It really is just all so unfair xo

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    Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017),Gingerlion (30-11-2017),Holmax (30-11-2017),Phia (30-11-2017)

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    @Holmax hugs.
    I’m subscribing to this thread as an ivf disappointment who can’t get a baby either but i can’t even be bothered filling you in on my journey. Let’s just say i’ve spent half my 30s trying to get pregnant and i’ve made the decision just recently that I won’t be spending my 40s doing the same. It’s ****ed up.

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    Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017),Deskar (22-12-2017),Holmax (30-11-2017)

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    Hugs to you @Tinachris and good for you for setting some limits. That takes a lot of courage! I always found it so hard to decide how far I would go but felt a lot better once I set a limit. To know that one way or another, my life wouldn’t be on hold forever really helped me.

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    Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017),Holmax (30-11-2017)

  11. #6
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    Default New section - fertility disappointments

    I don’t know @Holmax but I’m really tired of it all. And thanks and hugs to @ShannyAnny as well

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    Chocolate Rain (02-12-2017)

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    We've just had our 7th negative pregnancy test today....so devastating even after travelling to Sydney twice to see an immune specialist, had two courses of LIT treatment to ensure my immune system was "in sync" and it still didn't work. Now my husband just says 'it was the embryo'....As a female and the one that the embryos are transferred in too, I can't help but feel I have let my husband down (again) and that perhaps having kids is not in our future. I want to stop IVF but that means we don't get what we want of having our own family and we both want nothing more than to be parents.

    We have been on the journey to starting a family for almost 3yrs, one year naturally and two on IVF. One IUI cycle, 2 IVF/egg pick-ups and 7 trfs later and we're still childless. When is it our turn???? Its so hard to be happy for family and friends who tell you they are pregnant and here we are struggling....people who can have kids naturally really don't understand what a gift it is to have a child.

    Our feelings of continuing IVF have been significantly harboured by the lack of support form my family....'well you've had 6 failed attempts...don't you think that is a sign its not meant to be' and this was from my mother, who lived with us for 6mths and saw us going through a cycle first hand. One of the things I have noticed since being on this journey and lack of understanding of people who have had kids naturally and don't understand the struggle it is to undergo IVF. No amount of explaining seems to matter. On the other hand, I am very lucky to have a very supportive family-in-law, my sister-in-law in particular as she herself has been through countless IVF cycles to have our two gorgeous nieces and just recently found out she's pregnant with baby no. 3 NATURALLY!!! Miracles can happen.

    Its definitely an emotional, mental and physical rollercoaster that, lets face it, I want to hop off now and just enjoy the happiness of being a mum....something that seems to be getting further and further away from.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RinnyRoo82 View Post
    We've just had our 7th negative pregnancy test today....so devastating even after travelling to Sydney twice to see an immune specialist, had two courses of LIT treatment to ensure my immune system was "in sync" and it still didn't work. Now my husband just says 'it was the embryo'....As a female and the one that the embryos are transferred in too, I can't help but feel I have let my husband down (again) and that perhaps having kids is not in our future. I want to stop IVF but that means we don't get what we want of having our own family and we both want nothing more than to be parents.

    We have been on the journey to starting a family for almost 3yrs, one year naturally and two on IVF. One IUI cycle, 2 IVF/egg pick-ups and 7 trfs later and we're still childless. When is it our turn???? Its so hard to be happy for family and friends who tell you they are pregnant and here we are struggling....people who can have kids naturally really don't understand what a gift it is to have a child.

    Our feelings of continuing IVF have been significantly harboured by the lack of support form my family....'well you've had 6 failed attempts...don't you think that is a sign its not meant to be' and this was from my mother, who lived with us for 6mths and saw us going through a cycle first hand. One of the things I have noticed since being on this journey and lack of understanding of people who have had kids naturally and don't understand the struggle it is to undergo IVF. No amount of explaining seems to matter. On the other hand, I am very lucky to have a very supportive family-in-law, my sister-in-law in particular as she herself has been through countless IVF cycles to have our two gorgeous nieces and just recently found out she's pregnant with baby no. 3 NATURALLY!!! Miracles can happen.

    Its definitely an emotional, mental and physical rollercoaster that, lets face it, I want to hop off now and just enjoy the happiness of being a mum....something that seems to be getting further and further away from.
    @RinnyRoo82 - I just wanted to say that I understand part of your pain. Ttc 3.5y, 2 stim, 7 transfers and have never had any positive ...

    I share your fears and I am sorry for the lack of support from the people you would expect some warmth. I have also been disappointed by my entourage and find people understand little about this journey. Life also likes to remind you in cruel ways that not everyone deal with infertility issues... just when you struggle the most.

    Your message did resonate with me. I couldn’t just read and go. I just wanted to say that while trying, there is still a chance. It’s scary and disheartening, but while we can, we are still trying to know we did all we could... we’ll deal later with what will happen or not.

    Good luck! I hope you feel better soon & that you can can grieve this negative.

  16. #9
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    We married at my age 27, tried for over 10 years. We did Stim, tried Adoption (turned down) 6 egg collections in a year with all embryos transferred. I had a hysterectomy at age 40 when my atypical myoma possibly reoccurred so I went aggressive and removed. I was over IVF after first cycle. Hub wasn’t so when oncology said to have hyster just as we were starting IVF it was a hard road to take.

    We went on to foster 2 beautiful children for 4 months. No-one can take away that I was a Mum for that brief period and we are hoping this time to get a long term placement - hopefully permenant.

    We are trying to use up remaining sperm as a donor but the clinics/law doesn’t make it easy so we may need to forget that idea. But am trying to give that gift to another couple. Our families made us marry when we started talking about kids so it would be hard to accept an adult DNA match/Donation turning up as when kids get to 16/18 they can find a donor under current law.

  17. #10
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    Hi everyone.. after 10 years of IVF we have just had one of the worst things happen. our last embryo (from the 5 year you're version of my now 43 year old self) PGD tested - all looking good , immune drugs on par.. it was sowing HCG from 3 days after the 5 day transfer.. Turns out my clinic did not relay the correct dose of Progesterone to me that my doctor had prescribed. I started to bleed like a period on day 28 of cycle, and at the same time the HCG continued to rise as if a viable outcome was likely right through until day 4 of the period. when it disappeared within 36 hours. It is very clear to me the lack of Progesterone caused my lining to shed and consequently the implanted PGD embryo got wiped into oblivion. I am beyond devastated . at 43 there is no more next times.. Has anyone else suffered in this way? I suppose you could call this "Lack of Luteal phase support" my doctor dodged the question and did not deny this is the likely cause, and instead just said "you won't find anyway to get that answer" .. meanwhile.. my life is defined, my heat is broken, and they have taken $15k from me for good measure.. The clinic and nursing team did not clearly communicate with me my dosage for progesterone as i required maximum dose due to my age and irregular cycles. I would love to hear from anyone that has experienced HCG rising at the same time as having a period. I feel battered and bruised.


 

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