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  1. #1
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    Default My advice dont wait

    Hi.

    I wish in all sincerity for these words to help people.

    For those who can concieve naturally. There will never be a right time to have children. There will never be the right gap between children.

    I am an IVF-er, yes my husband came to me late in life. We had to do IVF to knock out a gene problem.

    Here i am with one child through IVF and she is now 6yrs old. And currently pregnant with the second through egg donor. I never planned on such a big gap. And its very early on so this can go either way at the moment. And its scary!

    As an older mum i wish my partner came along way earlier. I see 20 something’s with their head screwed on the right way and they have already started their family. I envy them. But alas i cannot turn back time.

    I wish to tell you this because there will never be a right time. Many got the career and the house and then needed to sell the house to afford IVF.

    Have you children early and love them. Dont end up like me.

    Cause the pain and emotional toll IVF creates and financial mess is something that i wouldn’t like anyone to go through especially if they were waiting for the right time to have kids.

    These are things i would like to share. I am hoping to help and or give food for thought.

    Mysticfalls

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  3. #2
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    I have the same advice for family and friends. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my first at 38 after 10 years of trying & 8 of those with fertility treatments and IVF.
    I have a little mantra -

    'Don't wait - procreate'

    I never want someone to experience what my husband and I did. You just never know.

    ❤️❤️ to you

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    Finnigan (18-10-2017),MysticFalls (18-10-2017),Rachi321 (29-05-2018)

  5. #3
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    Sending love.

    You definitely have me thinking. We agreed to get on the clomid again around June but I'm itching. Especially since my bestie is now utd.

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  7. #4
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    After I needed IVF, I gave one of my workmates this same advice. She’s a teacher and was trying to time it around senior exams etc and just decided to let all that go. She fell pregnant first month . We joke about it now and she doesn’t regret the timing as you just never know

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  9. #5
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    My journey took a lot longer than I planned. We tried for 8 years before finally having DD just before I turned 38.

    While I would rather not have had the years of IVF, I actually think this is the right time for me to have a baby.

    Everyone’s circumstances are different and I wouldn’t like to see people rushing to have children when they aren’t ready, just because they were concerned about possible difficulties conceiving.

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  11. #6
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    When I got married at 26 the sermon was all about not waiting to have children. At 34 I left that marriage for a number of reasons, but mostly because my ex-husband changed his mind decided he didn’t want kids. In hindsight, I am so very glad I didn’t have children with him, and by that also glad I didn’t do it in my 20s.

    I looked into having a family by myself a few years ago but decided that it wasn’t a route I personally wanted to take. Then I met a wonderful man and knew immediately he was the right person to be a dad.

    At 39 I’m pregnant with my first baby, and was fortunate enough to fall pregnant in the first month trying. I certainly wasn’t expecting that, but had no idea given I’d never actually tried to have a baby before.

    At my age I’m financially secure, have travelled the world, lived a great life and won’t need to work full time again if I don’t want to.

    For me, waiting till I was older was definitely the right decision x

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  13. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by KylieML View Post
    When I got married at 26 the sermon was all about not waiting to have children. At 34 I left that marriage for a number of reasons, but mostly because my ex-husband changed his mind decided he didn’t want kids. In hindsight, I am so very glad I didn’t have children with him, and by that also glad I didn’t do it in my 20s.
    I also had this experience with my 1st marriage and am so thankful that I waited for Mr. Right, even though it meant missing my peak fertility years.

    While, especially since TTC #2 took a lot longer than expected,I agree with the general sentiment of not waiting for the 'right time', I do think people should wait for the right relationship rather than rushing in when there are clear issues between them and their partner.

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  15. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    I also had this experience with my 1st marriage and am so thankful that I waited for Mr. Right, even though it meant missing my peak fertility years.

    While, especially since TTC #2 took a lot longer than expected,I agree with the general sentiment of not waiting for the 'right time', I do think people should wait for the right relationship rather than rushing in when there are clear issues between them and their partner.

    Exactly there is mo right time but there is such a thing as right partner.

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  17. #9
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    I wholeheartedly agree with you @MysticFalls. If you've found someone you love - don't wait for the right time.

  18. #10
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    I wish I’d started in my 20’s as well. 2 years of ttc #1 and I’m now 38 and have been ttc #2 for 4 years. We are starting IVF early next year.

    As for the age gap, I’m 6 years younger than my brother and we get along great. His kids also have the same ago gap and are best friends. I would be thrilled if IVF works for us next year, as mine would potentially have the same age gap.


 

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