+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    545
    Thanks
    234
    Thanked
    304
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Breaking sleep dependency - aged 4+

    Does your older child go to sleep alone?

    I want to encourage my kids to be more independent at bedtime. I think we have really made a mistake. 6yr old thinks he can't fall asleep without someone rubbing his back.

    Nearly 4yr old has always had me lay down next to her.

    Has anyone gone through this and broken these habits successfully with OLDER kids?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    1,746
    Thanks
    195
    Thanked
    369
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Breaking sleep dependency - aged 4+

    Yes my 6 year old needed someone to lay with her to fall asleep every night.
    It was exhausting for everyone as it could take a while.
    The things that worked for us were using a reward chart (7 nights of falling asleep alone and she got a treat) and also explaining to her that she couldn't go on sleepovers until she can go to sleep on her own.
    We also leave the light on for her and don't expect her to go to sleep straight away. She often sings/talks to herself for 30 mins before she falls asleep but I don't mind as long as she stays in her bed.
    She's very used to it now and is happy to go to bed now. It's all a lot less stressful at bedtime now.

    It also seems like we are creating the same habit in our younger child but I still don't know how to avoid it. Both my kids have been very clingy at night.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to CookingMonster For This Useful Post:

    Candiceo  (17-07-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,626
    Thanks
    705
    Thanked
    875
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Subbing

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    1,874
    Thanks
    1,596
    Thanked
    1,584
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I said I had to go and do xyz and I would be back in one minute. I gradually increased my time away until they fell asleep by themselves.

    Another technique I used was to introduce a chair for me to sit on instead of lying beside them on the bed. I very gradually (ie over a number of weeks) positioned the chair a teeny tiny bit closer to the door until I wasn't in the room anymore.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    bezzy  (17-07-2017),Candiceo  (17-07-2017),granny1  (17-07-2017)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    8,792
    Thanks
    3,379
    Thanked
    4,797
    Reviews
    9
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Subbing! My 4yo won't go to sleep on her own, ever since we moved her into a bed when she was 2. She won't let us leave the room or even sit on a chair next to her. She sometimes says "I'm going to put myself to sleep tonight" and we cheer and encourage her, then when it gets to bedtime she decides she's too scared. She knows monsters aren't real and wolves aren't in Australia (her two fears lol) but she still brings them up when she says she's scared.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to JR03 For This Useful Post:

    Candiceo  (18-07-2017)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    545
    Thanks
    234
    Thanked
    304
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks all I'm glad it's not just my kids. We never really minded putting them to sleep as little ones but as they are getting bigger it is becoming more of a battle.

    Ds (6yrs) has been invited to sleep overs but we know he isn't capable of going to sleep alone so we say no.

    Tried last night to leave him be instead of back patting. he stayed awake until 10pm. We'd had enough so eventually laid a hand on his head and he fell asleep instantly. Made me realise how bad this situation is.

    Don't want dd to go the same way so feel like we have to really address this asap.

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    1,083
    Thanks
    1,309
    Thanked
    533
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We have to lie down with our 5 almost 6yr old and like you it means we are so limited in being able to have him sleep anywhere else. He also has wormed his way back into our bed but tells me he'll go back into his room when he's 15 I'm kind of hoping for sooner than that!

    Do you think a weighted blanket might help your older one - sort of mimicking the weight of your hand?

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to wobbleyhorse For This Useful Post:

    Candiceo  (17-07-2017)

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    192
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked
    75
    Reviews
    0
    I have to lay down with my 3 yr old DS, he won't settle with Daddy so it's always me & as he gets older it is taking much longer.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to MyDino For This Useful Post:

    Candiceo  (18-07-2017)

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    5,384
    Thanks
    1,028
    Thanked
    3,494
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    DS is 4 and won't go to bed on his own. For now I am leaving it be. I am subbing for ideas though.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to twinklify For This Useful Post:

    Candiceo  (18-07-2017)

  16. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Brisbane, Queensland.
    Posts
    2,177
    Thanks
    331
    Thanked
    677
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes! My 3.5yo is terrible when it comes to sleep. Always has been. Often comes into our bed during the night. I've tried everything - rewards charts, you name it. Even when to sleep school when she was 9 months.

    I think I may have found a solution last night, unexpectedly. It was dh bday so I offered to sit at the end of her bed to put her to sleep (it's normally dh that does it). But I was also tired and wanted a shower badly. So I told her I would only be sitting for 10 minutes and once 10 mins is up, I need to have a shower but will come check on her after I'm done. I took my time and once I was done I checked on her to discover she was asleep. Did the same thing again tonight. It's just like they say when they are babies "get them drowsy but still awake when you put them in the cot". I stayed until she begun to get sleepy, and she did the rest herself.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to nicole83 For This Useful Post:

    Candiceo  (18-07-2017)


 

Similar Threads

  1. how to break sleep association (bottle to sleep)?
    By turquoisecoast in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 18-02-2017, 10:42
  2. Breaking sleeping habits
    By BB77 in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-06-2016, 17:45
  3. Comfort toy for sleeping - what age?
    By Monkey'sMummy in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-12-2014, 20:54
  4. ceasing day sleeps. what age?
    By Shiny95 in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 15-07-2008, 07:04
  5. Breaking Sleep Association Hard Decision
    By Issey in forum Pro - Controlled Crying
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03-10-2006, 12:22

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
KindyROOKindyROO offers activities for babies & toddlers in a fun learning centre, focussing on developmental education. ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›