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  1. #1
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    Default No Gifts/Presents but donation towards large gift.

    DS's 3rd Birthday is coming up, he has a lot of toys and with his birthday a month out from Christmas there will be more. We are always so very grateful for any gifts he receives but honestly would rather people not waste their money.

    For his 1st birthday we asked for books in lieu of presents but this year we'd like to get him a trampoline (which is quite expensive) so we were hoping guests could if they choose to donate a small amount towards that instead of an actual gift rather than asking for no gift at all, which I know most people aren't comfortable with.

    Our friends will not ask what to get him so I cant wait for people to ask that and suggest the donation but also dont want to put on the invite that we want "money" for a specific gift because that implies a gift was required in the first place which I am trying to avoid.

    If I did add a note to the invite it would be something like, (but Im very keen to avoid this.)
    "DS is so very fortunate to have some many toys already; your presence is the only present we need. For those who would still like to give DS a gift, small donations towards a Trampoline would be appreciated"

    He will still be receiving many gifts from us and our family so he will be opening gifts no matter what.

    What are your thoughts and what would you do?
    Last edited by Wishnhope; 19-06-2017 at 14:24.

  2. #2
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    I wouldn't have a problem with that at all and have considered doing something similar myself. I know some people get really offended by the mention of gifts and especially asking for money on invites but I actually prefer it, it's so much easier to pop a twenty dollar note in a card then it is to go out and buy yet another toy.

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    I think your note is fine but be prepared for some people being annoyed about it.

    A lot of people like to give small children presents for he excitement of opening the gift and also the thought of what goes into choosing present.

    It wouldn't bother me though, although I would never do this and I would just save up for the trampoline myself. Or only ask very close family.

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    Quote Originally Posted by yadot View Post
    I think your note is fine but be prepared for some people being annoyed about it.

    A lot of people like to give small children presents for he excitement of opening the gift and also the thought of what goes into choosing present.

    It wouldn't bother me though, although I would never do this and I would just save up for the trampoline myself. Or only ask very close family.
    We can afford the trampoline ourselves and have asked close family to put in if they like. I just wanted to give an alternative to no gifts since most people dont like that approach of giving nothing, You're suggesting avoid that all together?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wishnhope View Post
    We can afford the trampoline ourselves and have asked close family to put in if they like. I just wanted to give an alternative to no gifts since most people dont like that approach of giving nothing, You're suggesting avoid that all together?
    Then personally i would just say "child has enough toys so no gifts, your presence is al that is required..." etc or something to that effect..

    And then if people ask or insist (which I'm sure some will) say "well, you can also contribute toward the trampoline we're buying."

    But as I said- I wouldn't be offended getting an invite with what you wrote in your first post. But I know some people who would be offended. And personally, I would never do it because I would never feel comfortable asking people for money in this way

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    Wishnhope  (19-06-2017)

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    Keep in mind that even if you ask for no gifts people will probably show up with gifts. This happened to is recently with DDs fourth birthday. That's why I like your idea of saying no gifts necessary but if you'd like to give something we'd appreciation a contribution to x. Just be prepared that some people will still be offended and some people will turn up with gifts anyway.

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    Wishnhope  (19-06-2017)

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    Also, if he's turning 3 people might feel a bit bad showing up with only a card. They might not want to upset him and let him down not walking in with some kind of gift to open? Thinking back to when my two oldest turned 3 I know one wouldn't have cared but one would've been upset at this.

    Obviously you know your child best and I'm sure you've though about this. But just thought I'd add this as this might cross people's minds too (when asked not to bring gifts)

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    I don't think it's fair for him. Kids love opening presents. If he's going to get the trampoline regardless, then it seems unfair to deprive him of that excitement. Just my opinion and most will disagree

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lil Smurfy View Post
    I don't think it's fair for him. Kids love opening presents. If he's going to get the trampoline regardless, then it seems unfair to deprive him of that excitement. Just my opinion and most will disagree
    He will still have plenty to open from family and us so thats not an issue nor does he associate parties with gifts at this stage. But I appreciate your point of view/opinion.

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    Honestly, I don't like it at all. He's three - the whole thing of birthdays for kids is to have something to open, not a card with money in it or just one big thing that he probably doesn't entirely understand that everyone pooled together to buy. My DS is 10 and he is so disappointed with money in a card - buy him a book, a t-shirt, even a gift card but not cold hard cash. It just seems like everything is now an opportunity to ask for money rather than let people use their hearts and minds and buy people gifts. Sorry just my opinion. But I would be offended and if we weren't close friends I'd think twice about even coming.

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    PomPoms  (19-06-2017),Shellosaurus  (Yesterday),smallpotatoes  (19-06-2017),Wishnhope  (19-06-2017)


 

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