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  1. #1
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    Default Anyone with PND and twins?

    Have 4 month old boys and pretty bad PND and anxiety since about 4 weeks in.Feel like I have the biggest mistake ever.

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    No twins but couldn't ignore. Had my second child (accidental, wanted no more) 13 weeks ago and have only just come out of the blur. Still think it was a mistake but coming more around to a mistake I can see elements of a better future with. I know that sounds terrible and sorry to anyone offended...just how I feel. Hugs to you @Petulia. Even if you don't get a lot of responses I believe it would be so common with twins especially x

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    No twins but couldn't ignore. Had my second child (accidental, wanted no more) 13 weeks ago and have only just come out of the blur. Still think it was a mistake but coming more around to a mistake I can see elements of a better future with. I know that sounds terrible and sorry to anyone offended...just how I feel. Hugs to you @Petulia. Even if you don't get a lot of responses I believe it would be so common with twins especially x

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to tootsiegirl For This Useful Post:

    Petulia  (26-05-2017)

  5. #4
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    I know it sounds horrible too but I want to be honest in the hope others can tell me they felt like this and got past it.
    How did you start to see a better future? I am worried I will be one of those mothers that never gets used to it and abandons my family.

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    Sending you big hugs. I dont have twins but after my first I had similar thoughts and it actually took me a long time to realise I had pnd.
    I went to my gp who did a mental health plan and I was given a referal to see a psychologist for 10 free sessions.

    Dd is 7 now and I still struggle sometimes with bonding but I now have the tools to help work through this and if I need to I visit my psychologist and have a chat.

    I chose not to go on medication as talking to a professional helped me more.
    Please see your gp and have a chat with them and if they brush you off see another gp.

    There are alot of lovely ladies here always willing to listen also.

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    Petulia  (26-05-2017)

  8. #6
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    I packed my bags and left around 3-4 weeks ago. Only ended up being an hour or two but I had enough of no me and no time for my first. I didn't want to go back but reason told me i needed to. Only time is making a difference and after I got my period back I think my hormones settled
    A bit. He is getting past the very new stage (so so so slowly but I see tiny progress) and I am finding a routine, albeit a new routine . He is sick right now which I think has helped me feel more for him and his need for me. Are your twins prem? Mine have both been prem and I think possibly a factor in feeling like this too...

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    Petulia  (26-05-2017)

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Poppy View Post
    Sending you big hugs. I dont have twins but after my first I had similar thoughts and it actually took me a long time to realise I had pnd.
    I went to my gp who did a mental health plan and I was given a referal to see a psychologist for 10 free sessions.

    Dd is 7 now and I still struggle sometimes with bonding but I now have the tools to help work through this and if I need to I visit my psychologist and have a chat.

    I chose not to go on medication as talking to a professional helped me more.
    Please see your gp and have a chat with them and if they brush you off see another gp.

    There are alot of lovely ladies here always willing to listen also.
    Have many professionals involved but just in the starting stages and meanwhile having to sit with all of these feelings and the worry I won't feel differently.

  11. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by tootsiegirl View Post
    I packed my bags and left around 3-4 weeks ago. Only ended up being an hour or two but I had enough of no me and no time for my first. I didn't want to go back but reason told me i needed to. Only time is making a difference and after I got my period back I think my hormones settled
    A bit. He is getting past the very new stage (so so so slowly but I see tiny progress) and I am finding a routine, albeit a new routine . He is sick right now which I think has helped me feel more for him and his need for me. Are your twins prem? Mine have both been prem and I think possibly a factor in feeling like this too...
    I left for about 3 weeks. Took a mammoth effort for me to come back and that was only because of us all going to a mother baby unit. We had to leave because the babies got sick and now have to wait for another spot. It's been 2 weeks. Now I feel like leaving again. Everyone said wit until they get older, smile, etc, you'll feel differently. I don't.
    Yes they were both prem.

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    @Petulia are you seeking help for your PND and anxiety? GP, child health nurse, psychologist, multiple birth association, PANDA? I hope you're talking to people and it's great that you're talking on here too. Have you got supportive partner and family and friends? It's so important to use the resources that you have access to. It's a survival tactic at this stage I think.
    No twins for me but my dd was through ivf so very planned (took 2 years of treatment) and I was so shell-shocked the first few months after she was born I was regularly questioning wtf have I done
    Things have got better and my dd is 2 in a few weeks and I adore her she is so much fun. I can truly say I am glad to have her now - it took a very long time for me to feel that way. The turning point was around the 8-12 month mark when she started sleeping better and every little milestone of independence has helped too like walking and talking and understanding things more. Toddlerhood is a breeze for me so far compared to the first 12 months I found it so hard for many reasons. I definitely won't be having any more children I'm just not cut out for it.
    I can only imagine the difficulties are magnified exponentially with having two babies going through those stages at the same time.
    Take it day by day and hopefully you start to get some small wins in the next few months as they get older. Take all the help that's offered/available. Keep talking. Reach out. Hang in there you're doing an amazing job looking after 2 babies at once.

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    Angelhearts  (27-05-2017),JustJaq  (26-05-2017),Petulia  (27-05-2017),Simil  (26-05-2017),SJ565  (26-05-2017)

  14. #10
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    Babies take so much and give so little. They're big needy lumps. And you have two of them. The continual drain, the lack of me time... combined with the journey involved in creating them, it's not surprising you have some trouble adjusting.

    I just want you to know it does get better. You need to throw every idea you had about how parenting would be out the window. It's not like the Johnson and Johnson commercials make out. Yes some mums burst with love at the sight of their newborns. Others are a slow burn. I loved my DD1 when she was born but I didn't know her. It was weird being the mum to someone I didn't know. Poor DD2 I kept forgetting existed when she was a baby.

    My girls are now 5 and 3 and soooo much more fun than when they were babies. Plus I can put a movie on and go make dinner, I'm not stuck feeding all the freaking time.

    Hang in there Hun

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    gingermillie  (27-05-2017),Petulia  (27-05-2017)


 

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