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  1. #1
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    Default Thinking about a 4th

    I have 3 beautiful little humans... most days are wonderful... of course there are not so wonderful moments but the good far outweighs the bad.

    I'm so undecided on a 4th. Practically, there are so many reasons NOT to have another (need a bigger car, less time with each child, more expensive etc - but I think all of those are easily managable...) I'm a bit scared of pregnancy itself as I was on bedrest from 6 months last time and warned it would probably happen again in subsequent pregnancies. Oh and the hormonal rollercoaster?! But then, I feel sad when I think about no more babies. Hubby is not for or against which doesn't help haha.

    He was going to go in for the snip, but he's put it off since our 3rd was born "incase we change our mind in the future" and now I kind of feel like - go get the snip NOW or we're having another baby

    We're both content with 3 but love babies and raising children. Is that good enough reason to go again?!

    I really like that we've got some freedom now that I've just stopped breastfeeding and kids are old enough for a bit of independence around the house, but also cuddling a little squish and breastfeeding and late night feeds are wonderful! I just wonder if a 4th will "push us over the edge" as such.....

    PLEASE don't tell me "the only kid you regret is the one you didn't have" - I don't think we'd regret another but I do think it's more work (the washing atleast )

    Do you have 4 and how do you find it?!

  2. #2
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    Why does the decision to have no 4 seem so huge?!

    I'm in the same boat. Money is also a factor. Bigger car etc. but I want one!!

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    blissfulfairy  (21-05-2017)

  4. #3
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    We are in the same situation except my three are still quite little. I just think more laughter more fun someone to play with all the time. It's tough to decide even harder then deciding to go for your first! For me it's the whole thought process when plotting my life I think am I picturing another or just the ones we have!

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    Hi blissfulfairy,
    I would like to share what I've been going through with contemplating a 4th. My hubby & I both wanted just 3 (as he was a surprise) and hurried into getting a vasectomy done. That was 5 years ago. About 18 months ago I had a very late period and thought I was pregnant and ever since then I have desperately wanted another baby. How old is your youngest? Vasectomy reversals are expensive and may not be successful if you decide you want another bub down the track.

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    blissfulfairy  (21-05-2017)

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    Also, I have a lot of friends that have 4+ kids and they are SO happy! Children bring such joy!

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    charsmum  (24-09-2017)

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    DH and I went back and forth about adding a fourth child to our family for ages. Every time we decided that yes we want another, something very stressful would befall us. The first time we said yes we'll start trying next month, the entire family came down with gastro that lasted almost 3 weeks. That made us second guess our decision so we decided to wait. About 3 months later we decided yep let's get back on the baby train, and I injured my knee and couldn't walk/drive or be independent whatsoever. It reaffirmed how hard it is to look after 3 kids when one or both of the parents aren't operating at 100%. Then 6 months later i fell pregnant accidentally (I was on the mini pill and didn't take it properly) and at 7 weeks we found out we were having twins. Rather than being elated I was completely devestated - so incredibly scared of how I was going to cope with not only 4 but 5 kids, well it made me feel sick to the stomach with fear. Then at 8 weeks I had a miscarriage and although I cried and cried I also felt relieved, something that still makes me feel guilty. So after all that, we decided that perhaps the universe was trying to tell us something. So I'm getting the depo injections and it's been more that a year since the miscarriage and although some days I do wish I could have another, overwhelmingly I'm happy with our family as it is. I think you have to know your abilities, and I honestly think 4 would be too many for me to handle. But I know a lot of parents that could easily handle 4, they have lots more patience than me for sure. Having 4 would be wonderful, there was many attractive things about having 4 kids - big Christmases, lots of grandchildren, plenty of love in the house. Good luck with your decision!

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    blissfulfairy  (21-05-2017),noreen  (28-11-2017)

  11. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soon2be4 View Post
    We are in the same situation except my three are still quite little. I just think more laughter more fun someone to play with all the time. It's tough to decide even harder then deciding to go for your first! For me it's the whole thought process when plotting my life I think am I picturing another or just the ones we have!
    Definitely! We went out yesterday and went for a big walk around a lake and play on a playground and I thought to myself "well this is easier without a newborn" but then they're only little babies for such a short time! I'm so torn!

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    noreen  (28-11-2017),yadot  (21-05-2017)


 

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