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  1. #1
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    Default Fed up with toddler

    I am so fed up with my 2.5yo and I need help

    I have two girls, the first of which was a breeze, she has beautiful manners, does as she is asked (mostly) and is lovely and polite. My youngest however is a complete pain in the rear. there is not a minute of my day that she isn't awake firstly - she will go to bed between 9-930 no matter when we try and put her to bed & will wake at 530-6am everyday. She is demanding and throws tantrums constantly, she climbs everything, if we say no she stares us down while doing what we've asked her not to. She is so unenjoyable and just screams our house down day in and day out. After spending the last 30 minutes of her having a tantrum because we won't let her use the iPad I am in tears and at the end of my tether! I never had these problems with my first and I just don't know what to do

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    I've been here. I often look at one of my daughters and think ahh why aren't you like the other but.. then I have to remember they are each their own person. Honestly she sounds like a typical toddler and you got lucky with your first. Aside from the normal behaviours wow what a headstrong girl you've got imagine what she will do if supported and encouraged. I guess you're either going to be upset about it or just accept that's who she is. We don't always have to like our children and of course it doesn't mean we don't love them. Sounds like she is going to storm through life with amazing willpower (just like my second) I think you should write out what good qualities she has and try and focus on them even if you can only think of one to start with. Try not to compare them so much and see these things as strengths instead.

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  4. #3
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    Default Fed up with toddler

    Have you considered introducing quiet time in the mornings.. where the girls are told when they wake up in the morning to stay put in their cots or rooms and play/ reflect until parents wake up and come out of their bedrooms or not to come out till a certain time? 2.5 may be too young but it may be a good time to start. Id start with 7 am and you can maybe move it to 7.30.

    http://www.yourmodernfamily.com/kids...-up-too-early/

    Id imagine it would be challenging.. but worth trying.

    You could introduce positive reinforcement for when the girls get it right.. for an example "if you do this, there will be a morning surprise.. like you get to pick your favourite breakfast or an activity in the afternoon or weekend.
    Last edited by Simil; 19-05-2017 at 20:28.

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  6. #4
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    It's the age! From our experience & friends that age was the worst.

    It's time to get/put your parenting/discipline strategy in place & be consistent. It will pay off.

    I do agree, you obviously got lucky the 1st time. But her behavior is normal. So parent fairly, grit your teeth & ride it out.

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    theworkingmum  (22-05-2017)

  8. #5
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    Is she still napping in the day? My son is about 6 or so months older than your daughter. He's stopped napping in the day now, so I have to make sure he is asleep at a reasonable time these days or he is feral. When you say she goes to bed 9 -930, is that because she won't go to bed earlier? Just curious, whilst I agree that 2.5 is a hard age, for us sleep had a huge baring on just how awful it was day to day.

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  10. #6
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    Kids that age need a solid 12 hours sleep at night. I would be looking at improving sleep quality (maybe diet changes, less screen time or more outdoors play. Mine sleep like lumps when they run around outdoors alot) and you'll probably see an improvement with everything else.

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    My son is 2.5. He's also pretty challenging. He won't nap any more, even though he still needs it, so I stopped trying to make it happen. We are very consistent with his bed time routine, he fights it all the time, but we still do it. I lie with him until he falls asleep. He enjoys the cuddles and the connection. He's also not allowed out of bed before 6:30 am. That means if he wakes before then either hubby or myself need to go in and lie with him until 6:30. He's got to lie quietly in bed with us til then. I found if we let him get up when he woke regardless of time, he just started waking earlier and earlier. If he wakes, we go in and say it's too early to get up, it's still sleepy time. He lies down on the bed and we lie down next to him.

    All toddlers are different. Maybe she needs some more one on one positive activity time with you? That may help to reduce the tantrums and demands. Can you get her involved in helping with things around the house?

    I also find acknowledging how DS is feeling and why really helpful. So, he threw a tantrum the other day because I told him we weren't going to the park after he refused to get in the car seat (he had 3 chances). I took DD back inside, and went and took him out of the car and inside. Massive meltdown. I just sat with him (he's worse if I leave). If he tried to hit or kick I said I couldn't let him do it and I'd move away a little. I reminded him every so often that I would give him a hug when he was ready. When he calmed down a bit I told him that I knew he was sad because we weren't going to the park, and he was allowed to feel sad about it. I also told him that mummy gave him 3 chances and he still didn't do what he was asked, so we couldn't go. Maybe next time we could get in the car seat when mummy asked. He got upset. We did the whole thing over again. And I asked if he'd like to go and do some colouring with me when he'd calmed down. He loves colouring, so it was a good positive distraction.

    We always give 3 chances, then follow through with a logical consequence. If he's climbing, I usually have to physically remove him. If he's climbing on the lounge in the toy room, I give him his warnings and then leave the room. He won't stay in there by himself.

    Stay firm and consistent. If you've said no, don't give in.

    Have you tried asking her what's wrong? My DS often acts out when he misses DH.

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  14. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    Kids that age need a solid 12 hours sleep at night. I would be looking at improving sleep quality (maybe diet changes, less screen time or more outdoors play. Mine sleep like lumps when they run around outdoors alot) and you'll probably see an improvement with everything else.
    Yes I agree, I think not enough sleep could be the root of a lot of your concerns

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