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  1. #1
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    Default are there any circumstances

    that you would contact DHS requesting that they find a better home for your awesome 13 yo child

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    I'm so sorry you are having such a crappy time.
    Your son sounds like such an exceptional young man.
    He has stayed with a friends family before hasn't he? Would they be willing to take him on? It wouldn't have to be permanent but the foreseeable future?

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    pointless, the DHS seems to be set on having your family look after your son. I know you are not happy about that, but I have no idea how you can get them to change that plan. ?? Your boy is 13, he will soon be reaching an age where he can make his own decisions about that sort of thing?? How does he feel about being with your family?? I wish i could help you. hugs, marie

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    Yes. In a situation where I was unable to provide adequately for my child (shelter, food, love, the ability to remain active and involved in life and my child's life) then I would.
    In all honesty, provided that what you say on here is true, I'm surprised you still have custody of your son.

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    Oh honey I'm sorry. I know you don't like having your parents look after DS so is there anyone else? He's 13 now, can he voice his opinion on the matter ? You have said in the past that school friends have offered , is this still a possibility? I do wish we could help you both!

    Sending you both much love .. don't forget I'm only a pm a way of you need to chat

    Xxxx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Yes. In a situation where I was unable to provide adequately for my child (shelter, food, love, the ability to remain active and involved in life and my child's life) then I would.
    In all honesty, provided that what you say on here is true, I'm surprised you still have custody of your son.
    How is that last paragraph helpful? Of course what she says is true. How about being supportive for a change ?

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    Honestly I think the most important thing for your son is to have stability.
    Having read some of your posts it must be incredibly difficult for your son with everything that is going on.
    I work in child protection and have had quite a few cases where the parents have chosen to put their child into care due to feeling they have too much on their plates. Whilst it sounds awful and a last resort, is their anyone else that you could have your son stay with for a bit more stability and so he isn't exposed to as many things that will impact him negatively? If there is no one, have you thought about (even temporarily) putting him in care ? Just to give him a bit of respite and time to not have to worry about adult things as he is still a child and from what it sounds like his life and yours is a bit chaotic.

    I'm not sure what state you are in so things may be different to where I am.

    I'm also surprised if your child is witnessing you self harming etc that he is still in your care.

    Whilst some people are saying 'let your child decide' I don't agree with this, your child is not an adult and doesn't have a full understanding of how trauma etc will affect them. I can pretty much guarantee every child I work with would want to go back to their parents..despite serious neglect and abuse (I know this isn't the case for you I'm trying to make a point) . obviously this is not the best thing for them.. and as they are children it's not their choice..

    Obviously you'd still get to have access with him etc it may help the time you do spend together to be more quality time and positive for your relationship with him without him being exposed to difficult situations.

    Obviously I don't know the full story

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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    How is that last paragraph helpful? Of course what she says is true. How about being supportive for a change ?
    [edited by mod] there's a 13yr old kid who has a mother unable to adequately provide basic care for him on a regular basis. He needs a home with stability, not what he has now. Pointless needs to focus on getting better and allow her son to go somewhere where he can be provided with the stability and care he needs at his age, and then she can work on getting healthy and having him come back to live with her.
    Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 18-05-2017 at 20:34. Reason: unnecessary

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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    [edited by mod] there's a 13yr old kid who has a mother unable to adequately provide basic care for him on a regular basis. He needs a home with stability, not what he has now. Pointless needs to focus on getting better and allow her son to go somewhere where he can be provided with the stability and care he needs at his age, and then she can work on getting healthy and having him come back to live with her.
    I don't know this lovely lady IRL but I have followed her story and spoken to her via pm. She is trying her best to get healthy and she certainly doesn't need ppl being skeptical of her. She tries her best to provide stability and shelter and food for her son. You aren't supportive when you say you ignore her posts or a skeptical of her... sorry but that's not being supportive in my eyes. Anyway al I know is pointless is trying her best to be a good mum and do the best for her son and she will always have my support . It's the least I can do for someone who is struggling. A kind word goes a long way
    Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 18-05-2017 at 20:34. Reason: edit quote

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    I wonder if there might be any schools available to you that offer boarding? Perhaps that way you could retain custody but he will have somewhere consistent during school term. I'm not sure of your financial circumstances but if fees are a problem maybe there is some assistance you could receive or scholarship something like that.

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