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  1. #11
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    If you are ready to share now then do it, I don't see the point in waiting for a 'safe point'. People can lose babies at any stage. I lost my perfectly healthy daughter at 38+2. The chance of miscarriage certainly decreases at 12 weeks but there really are no guarantees and I don't understand the expectation that people should wait to share their news.

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    BettyV  (18-05-2017),Shellosaurus  (18-05-2017),Wise Enough  (18-05-2017),yadot  (18-05-2017)

  3. #12
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    We told our parents, siblings and closest friends straight away as I would be comfortable telling them if I had a miscarriage. I told my boss at 10 weeks as she's very observant and I was starting to show so wanted to let her know (and also I would be honest with her if I had a miscarriage and needed time off work anyway). I didn't even need to; she said "oh I was just thinking a few days ago that you looked like you had lost weight" so she had no idea haha. We waited to tell everyone else until after the 12 week scan.

  4. #13
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    that's true. i was paranoid of the worst happening the entire time. it's almost worse the further you get along as you become more and more "invested". it's never a sure thing til bub is screaming in your arms. tainted i'm sorry to hear of your loss.

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    Tainted  (18-05-2017)

  6. #14
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    Tainted, thank you for sharing that. Your point is so valid; there really never is a safe point. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss honey.

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    Tainted  (18-05-2017)

  8. #15
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    I'm eight weeks but showing already! I think I'm going to struggle to get away with it at 10 weeks even. I've told family and a few close friends but will still wait until 12 weeks for FB announcement/texts to others etc

  9. #16
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    We kept our first secret until 12 weeks, what i found really helped was joining a Due in group so i had someone to talk to about it haha.

    This time we told people at 8 weeks because it was easier to tell everyone at christmas as everyone was together, and secondly i was starting to show earlier this time.

    I'm sure if you do tell your close family they will be very supportive if it does result in a m/c

    Congratulations on your bfp and i hope its nice easy pregnancy for you

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  11. #17
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    Default How do you refrain from telling people?!

    When i first got pregnant i was so optimistic and nearly told friends.. as in i was hinting and talking about babies and i even started buying cute baby things.. i wasnt even 6 weeks and i miscarried. I was so glad at that point i kept my secret because i couldnt imagine untelling people.... their reactions on top of my heart break and disappointment.

    My friend who is a doctor who isnt pregnant yet claims she wont share till 20 weeks because she sees so many miscarriages and believes theyre so common till around 20 weeks.

    Most people with a healthy pregnancy would share around the 12 week mark i think..

    And although there is never a safe point really.. its different when youre not showing and can hide it.. if it will save you heartache why not.

    I am going through hell at the moment at 14 weeks.. nearly 15 weeks. Id be going through an even bigger hell if people knew.. people have been asking me at work whats wrong and why im sad.. imagine if they were asking me "any news with bub? So what exactly is wrong?" .. i would just die.
    Last edited by Simil; 18-05-2017 at 19:48.

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    Shellosaurus  (18-05-2017)

  13. #18
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    I have to tell my workplace as soon as I know due to the risk factors of my job (exposed to xrays, anaesthetic agents, cat scratches and heavy lifting). I hate having too, especially as I've had 2 miscarriages, it changes the dynamic with my work colleagues.

    Cause I have to tell work we also tell our parents and siblings early. It's unfair work knows but not our closest family.

    I'd love to hold the secret close and just be our secret for longer but that's just how it is.

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    Shellosaurus  (19-05-2017)

  15. #19
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    TropicalBub, I'm so sorry for your losses. That definitely makes the decision more complicated.

    I think I'll have to tell my work soon too. My morning sickness is apparently kicking in and I don't know how I'm going to hide it when the bathroom is miles away on the other side of the office from where I sit. I think we'll just tell my work (but I'll still hold off a bit if I can) and our family for now. If we have a MC I don't really want all our friends knowing. Family support will be enough.

  16. #20
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    Just as a different perspective, I am so grateful to the women who have been willing to share their pregnancy journeys with me. My boss shared with us (in a close office where we'd worked together for years) all of her pregnancies and miscarriages, as well as her IVF journey. I've had close friends share their experiences from 5 weeks onwards, and I've had others who have only shared after a miscarriage. All of these stories have really helped me gain awareness of the huge variety of conception and pregnancy joys and heartbreaks. I hope these stories have made me more empathetic in general, and I certainly felt a little more prepared for my own conception and pregnancy struggles.

    I would only want someone to share if they were comfortable doing so and had thought about what it means to share the ups and the downs. But to those women I am truly, deeply grateful.

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    Shellosaurus  (20-05-2017),Simil  (20-05-2017),Yogis Mumma  (20-05-2017)


 

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