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  1. #1
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    Default How do you refrain from telling people?!

    I'm 34, and just found out I am pregnant with our first child. Given my age, DH and I both really thought it would take a long time to get pregnant, so we were shocked that it happened for us straight away! We are both so excited that we are dying to tell our family and close friends, but we know that there is a high risk of miscarriage in the first trimester and that we are supposed to keep it quiet until we're sure it's going to "stick".

    My question is, did people in similar circumstances just give in and tell people? If so, did that make it more difficult if the pregnancy did not work out? I am trying to be realistic and know that it is early days, but I'm struggling to contain my excitement. I also really want to talk out my symptoms with my sister and girlfriends, because my body feels so weird right now! Any tips from seasoned professionals? Should I just zip it for now? Thanks guys.

  2. #2
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    Congratulations 😊

    We told our immediate family and closest friends each time. With my second pregnancy ending in miscarriage, it was good to have support.

  3. #3
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    Congratulations!

    I think it depends on the type of person you are... I told close family & friends very early on but that was because I figured if the worst happened I would want those people around me for the support.

  4. #4
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    I'm 7w and we have told close family and our best friends. I've also told my boss at work as she was able to swap some shifts around for me to avoid heavy lifting. Everyone has promised to keep it to themselves. It is lovely having others excited for you too and i know if things go wrong these are the people I will turn to for support.

    Some days I want to shout it from the roof tops and tell the world, other days I'm happy and content knowing I have a little secret baby growing inside me that most people in my every day life have no idea about!

    We aren't keen on doing a big fb announcement and would prefer to tell people in person, so we'll start doing so around 10-12weeks.

  5. #5
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    Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    I am nearly 43 and am expecting my first bubba (thanks to IVF and donor eggs) in about 6 weeks time. With our first pregnancy (which ended in MC at 8 1/2 weeks) we had told my parents, sisters and my boss. In the end it turned out to be a wise decision as I had support fro my family when I lost bub, and my boss understood why I was needing some time off work while I recovered.

    With this, our second pregnancy, we told family and work straight away again. Other people (close friends, extended family) were informed as we got closer to the 12 week mark. After that all bets were off, it was up on FB and if a stranger stood still long enough in the street I'd tell them It is such an exciting time and I was absolutely busting to tell people!

  6. #6
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    I just thought about who I would be comfortable "un-telling" if it came to that. If there was anyone who's support I would have wanted if things went wrong (i.e. close friends/family), then it seemed to make sense to tell them straight away.

    In the end, my morning sickness was so bad I had to tell my parents at 7 weeks as I couldn't have hidden it any longer, and I told work (just the HR manager and my immediate team) a couple of weeks later, who were relieved as they thought I must be dying of some horrible illness given all the time I'd suddenly taken off!

  7. #7
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    Congratulations!

    We told very close family and a couple of close friends plus I told 2 very close work colleagues. Helped me be able to talk about things in different areas of my life. I was excited too, and not able to keep it in.

    Also, I wanted close ppl to know in case we had a m/c so they could provide support, rather than the opposite situation of no one knowing but then having to tell them about the m/c.

    Everyone is different but if you're excited and wanting to tell, choose a few ppl. Also, I found that having a few ppl know stopped me from wanting everyone knowing! Hehe

  8. #8
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    I told a few close people straight away (best friend, parents, BIL and couple of close work friends who knew about our ivf journey) then from 12 weeks I let other people find out organically (no big announcement). The people I told early were those I would have felt comfortable sharing bad news with - that was a good measure for me of who to tell.

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    Thank you so much, everyone! I am so glad I asked about this. You've all raised some good points, especially about managing work, and who we would want to support us we we do have a MC. I'm really grateful for all your advice and comments. What a wonderful community you guys are!

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    Yogis Mumma  (18-05-2017)

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    waited til 15 weeks. our 10 week bloods came back a bit odd (NT scan was perfect) so we were encouraged to have the harmony test to rule out any chromosomal issues. by the time we got the all clear on that i think i was around 15 weeks. initially i was like you but i felt it better to be conservative in case of something bad happening. when we got the blood result (low papp A and high hcg which can be a marker for t21/downs) i was glad i'd kept my mouth shut as the wait for the harming result was tense and i'd have hated to have people asking me how it's all going knowing that potentially things could end badly.

    but that's just me. i'm a very private person and a total control freak. we also did no "big announcement" as it's just not our style. told all the usual people close to us then informed others organically thereafter until it became obvious and nothing further needed to be said.

    congrats!

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