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  1. #1
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    Default Reactions to wanting more kids

    DH has said he *might* consider trying for no. 4.

    I never thought I would want 4 but I do so, so badly. But in the back of my mind I'm wondering.. am I nuts?

    I've started to confide in people irl and the reactions are pretty insulting really.

    "What?! No way!! Why? Why would you want ANOTHER ONE?" Insert disgusted/ shocked faces...

    Well, I just do! The thought of never having another one depresses me greatly. I know I'm lucky to have 3. I know we'll need a bigger car. Financially I think we'll manage. I think I'll manage. I think the fourth will be missing in 20 years time and I will always be sad. It's a weird longing that isn't going away.

    It's not even a definite decision yet. We're only talking about it but people's reactions are a tad offensive! Why can't people say oh that'll be exciting!

    Has anyone else had these kind of reactions to telling people you might ttc

  2. #2
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    My SIL is the fourth and I'm pretty sure my MIL got that reaction. She completes the family; it wouldn't be the same without her so I say go for it!

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    yadot  (17-05-2017)

  4. #3
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    Yes, we did. The worst ones that stick out are "But you can't handle what you have now!!" (Thanks Mum and Grandma) and we announced number 4 - "can't you keep you legs shut?" (said half joking by a close mate who wanted more then the 1 he had).

    Some peoples mouths run before their brains think and so they have no tact.

    In saying that, we also (esp. me) never felt our family was complete with 3. I had the same feelings you are having. Once we had #4, that incomplete feeling disappeared and we felt wholey done.

    Good luck

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    yadot  (17-05-2017)

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    I'd be one to think omg why have a fourth but I would never say it ! I think it's got more to do with the persons point of view that has said it. There's no way I could handle 4 kids and it's not something I'd want but that doesn't mean it's not right for others!

    Some People have big mouths. You can't win whatever you do those those types. They are the same people that think it's ok to question childless couples "oh you better get cracking you aren't getting any younger" blah blah

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    yadot  (17-05-2017)

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    I have 3 and want a 4th. I haven't encountered any negative reactions but I wonder if it is because I have 2 older girls (14 & 12) and 3rd bub is 12 weeks. So essentially 2 + 2! Maybe that is why no one has said I'm crazy yet!!

    It's your choice, if you want 4, have 4. If those people that have something to say don't live under your roof or pay your bills then it's none of their business!!

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    yadot  (17-05-2017)

  10. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by lolly137 View Post
    Yes, we did. The worst ones that stick out are "But you can't handle what you have now!!" (Thanks Mum and Grandma) and we announced number 4 - "can't you keep you legs shut?" (said half joking by a close mate who wanted more then the 1 he had).

    Some peoples mouths run before their brains think and so they have no tact.

    In saying that, we also (esp. me) never felt our family was complete with 3. I had the same feelings you are having. Once we had #4, that incomplete feeling disappeared and we felt wholey done.

    Good luck
    Wow. What a nasty thing for your mum and grandma to say!! And your friend wtf!!

    When I'm having a hard moment with the 3 I have I think I must be crazy wanting another one but the want for another just doesn't seem to go away

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    Quote Originally Posted by magicmashie View Post
    I'd be one to think omg why have a fourth but I would never say it ! I think it's got more to do with the persons point of view that has said it. There's no way I could handle 4 kids and it's not something I'd want but that doesn't mean it's not right for others!

    Some People have big mouths. You can't win whatever you do those those types. They are the same people that think it's ok to question childless couples "oh you better get cracking you aren't getting any younger" blah blah
    All so true. We are currently childless (just waiting and planning) but getting constant comments and questions about having kids. We'll have the opposite problem though as our families are all large, so they'll want to know why we're only planning to have 1 or 2. Dad is one of 7. DH is one of 4. I have 10 siblings (blended families).

    It all boils down to the fact that it is your decision and no one else's. You need to do what is right for your own family.

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    magicmashie  (17-05-2017)

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    I am ashamed to say I may have said something similar to my sil who always said she wanted 4. Buuuut now tht I have my bub I can totally understand it. Dh and I said we would be happy with one or two. Buuuut now I am considering three!😲
    I apologized to my sil and told her I understand why she wants 4 and why she feels her family isn't complete.
    I just think well I dont live her roof and she wants 4 then thats cool her choice.
    I have fertility issues and its like us getting all the comments why dont you have a baby already (despite us trying fot over a year)
    Water off a ducks back. Try not to think about them. You family your body your choice.

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    yadot  (17-05-2017)

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    that would be my reaction, in fact i had it reading your post

    but it's ultimately up to you and if it's what makes you happy, completes your family etc, then go for it!!

    maybe there's a little bit of envy at the fact that most people know they couldn't cope with that many and the fact that someone wants so many kids highlights their uncomfortableness at the idea.

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    magicmashie  (17-05-2017),yadot  (17-05-2017)

  17. #10
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    Default Reactions to wanting more kids

    Quote Originally Posted by twentysomething View Post
    I am ashamed to say I may have said something similar to my sil who always said she wanted 4. Buuuut now tht I have my bub I can totally understand it. Dh and I said we would be happy with one or two. Buuuut now I am considering three!😲
    I apologized to my sil and told her I understand why she wants 4 and why she feels her family isn't complete.
    I just think well I dont live her roof and she wants 4 then thats cool her choice.
    I have fertility issues and its like us getting all the comments why dont you have a baby already (despite us trying fot over a year)
    Water off a ducks back. Try not to think about them. You family your body your choice.
    Back before I had any kids I had the "ugh, why do people want kids" (but silently! To myself I honestly thought people were nuts and didn't understand what all the fuss was about!

    Maybe it's karma

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    theworkingmum  (01-08-2017)


 

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