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  1. #21
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    Hi Simil, I am truly sorry to hear of your story, I too have been following your journey. I have never been in your situation but am in the industry and wanted to refer to @Sally1981 post regarding the medication to stop your milk coming in. It is often forgotten about as there is so much going on at the time but milk coming in can often be that kick in the guts you definitely don't need. At 15 weeks though your body wouldn't have started producing colostrum (normally starts from 16 weeks) so in your case I don't know whether the pills called Dostinex are appropriate. Worth having the conversation though to try and cover everything that could make an already extremely emotional time more difficult.

    Hope this has helped and I will be sending strength to you at this very sad time x

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Excited1 View Post
    Hi Simil, I am truly sorry to hear of your story, I too have been following your journey. I have never been in your situation but am in the industry and wanted to refer to @Sally1981 post regarding the medication to stop your milk coming in. It is often forgotten about as there is so much going on at the time but milk coming in can often be that kick in the guts you definitely don't need. At 15 weeks though your body wouldn't have started producing colostrum (normally starts from 16 weeks) so in your case I don't know whether the pills called Dostinex are appropriate. Worth having the conversation though to try and cover everything that could make an already extremely emotional time more difficult.

    Hope this has helped and I will be sending strength to you at this very sad time x
    Oh I hope I haven't given misinformation! I knew someone who miscarried at 12 weeks and their milk came in so I assumed it must happen early. Maybe she was an unusual case.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally1981 View Post
    Oh I hope I haven't given misinformation! I knew someone who miscarried at 12 weeks and their milk came in so I assumed it must happen early. Maybe she was an unusual case.
    No you are right, it can happen in rare cases. Usually though if the person has previously breastfed and generally milk wouldn't come in to the same extent at 12 weeks as if closer to term. Definitely worth the conversation so a very good point to make.

  4. #24
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    I'm so sorry you are facing this. I lost my third baby at 12 weeks, suspected she passed away around 10-11 weeks. I can only comment on a natural miscarriage, so maybe that is not helpful at all, but the labour was a few hours and over quickly. I would not have thought an epidural would be worth the actual pain of having it inserted (for me). It was like intense menstrual cramps at the very end but the labour pain was not much at all really. My body did not produce any milk and physical recovery took a few months to get back to normal.

  5. #25
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    Default what can i expect in delivering at 15 weeks...

    Thanks everyone.. the experiences ....it really seems like it varies from person to person and from week to week
    Im now 14 weeks and waiting. I never thought id be in this situation when my cvs was at 11 weeks. I thought if im terminating for medical reasons id be done at 12 weeks.. but no, no such luck for me.
    I am hoping if this is my path that i actually go through this at 15 weeks... but at this stage it could be 16 weeks. The weeks just keep rolling on so fast now that i want time to slow down.
    I will do natural in a hospital but I havent decided on pain management. The goal will be to do whatever is safest with the least amount of physical pain for me.
    I will ask about the milk thing too.
    This will sound insane but i am seriously considering asking for an epidural.. but i am still thinking about it.. ill be going private.
    I do not want to be in pain for 6-10 hours. There has been enough pain already and i just dont think i can handle it.

    Ive actually always had a fear of birth in general and labour.... huge fear..since i was a little girl. My desire for a baby was stronger then the fear.. i just never thought id be in a situation where i have to do it with no baby to take home.
    Last edited by Simil; 15-05-2017 at 17:32.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Simil For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (15-05-2017)

  7. #26
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    My heart just breaks for you. Sending you so much love this week and for weeks to come xxx

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    Simil  (15-05-2017)

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simil View Post
    Thanks everyone.. the experiences ....it really seems like it varies from person to person and from week to week
    Im now 14 weeks and waiting. I never thought id be in this situation when my cvs was at 11 weeks. I thought if im terminating for medical reasons id be done at 12 weeks.. but no, no such luck for me.
    I am hoping if this is my path that i actually go through this at 15 weeks... but at this stage it could be 16 weeks. The weeks just keep rolling on so fast now that i want time to slow down.
    I will do natural in a hospital but I havent decided on pain management. The goal will be to do whatever is safest with the least amount of physical pain for me.
    I will ask about the milk thing too.
    This will sound insane but i am seriously considering asking for an epidural.. but i am still thinking about it.. ill be going private.
    I do not want to be in pain for 6-10 hours. There has been enough pain already and i just dont think i can handle it.

    Ive actually always had a fear of birth in general and labour.... huge fear..since i was a little girl. My desire for a baby was stronger then the fear.. i just never thought id be in a situation where i have to do it with no baby to take home.
    I had an epidural when I delivered at 23 weeks. I got it early before the pain was bad. Sadly it didn't give a great block and I ended up needing a general anaesthetic due to complications.

    There is no need for you and to experience pain or suffer any more than you already are. You are facing a truly terrible thing and I think it's fine to do whatever you need to to cope.

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    HollyGolightly81  (15-05-2017)

  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simil View Post
    Thanks everyone.. the experiences ....it really seems like it varies from person to person and from week to week
    Im now 14 weeks and waiting. I never thought id be in this situation when my cvs was at 11 weeks. I thought if im terminating for medical reasons id be done at 12 weeks.. but no, no such luck for me.
    I am hoping if this is my path that i actually go through this at 15 weeks... but at this stage it could be 16 weeks. The weeks just keep rolling on so fast now that i want time to slow down.
    I will do natural in a hospital but I havent decided on pain management. The goal will be to do whatever is safest with the least amount of physical pain for me.
    I will ask about the milk thing too.
    This will sound insane but i am seriously considering asking for an epidural.. but i am still thinking about it.. ill be going private.
    I do not want to be in pain for 6-10 hours. There has been enough pain already and i just dont think i can handle it.

    Ive actually always had a fear of birth in general and labour.... huge fear..since i was a little girl. My desire for a baby was stronger then the fear.. i just never thought id be in a situation where i have to do it with no baby to take home.
    No one is ever prepared for this nightmare you're going through. This testing phase you're at now was the moment for me that I realised just how far we have to go with foetal medicine. I honestly don't think they have the technology to diagnose most of the issues quickly and accurately yet.

    We had no sign of serious issues until the 19 week scan so that's why we were so late. After I met more people who've been through this I was very surprised to see how few people terminated pregnancies before about 17 weeks. It seems they have a CVS after the 12 week tests, then get told about placental mosaicism, so they wait for 15 weeks and have an amnio, then two weeks for results. The ones earlier all seemed to have structural abnormalities that were really obvious.

    As for pain relief, I was told outright that anything I wanted I would get. That was in a private hospital (a different one to the one I booked into because catholic hospitals 'don't do that' - apparently their code of ethics require them to force women to carry non viable babies to term regardless of the effect that has on the mother, or refuse to treat them). So make it clear that you want the works and hopefully it will happen for you. I also asked for and received a script for sleeping pills for afterwards. I know you don't want to hear about the emotional stuff, but it can be pretty rough and sleepless nights don't help.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sally1981 For This Useful Post:

    Mum-I-Am  (16-05-2017),Wise Enough  (15-05-2017)

  13. #29
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    Thanks everyone

    Based on all your responses and private messages i will go with a private hospital, pay them what i need to and make sure they give me an epidural. I dont care if its only 15 weeks, my goal is to feel little to no pain during the process however long that takes.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Simil For This Useful Post:

    BornToBe  (17-05-2017),Mum-I-Am  (16-05-2017),nattie84  (16-05-2017)

  15. #30
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    @Simil I delivered in a tertiary hospital which is both public and private (I was private)and I was so well cared for. Being a larger hospital they had very experienced staff who specialise in stillbirth and medically necessary terminations. I'm not sure if a smaller hospital would offer the same level of support and experience.


 

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