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  1. #1
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    Default IVF over 45??

    Hi, in new to bubhub and have been reading the forums. I'm about to start IVF but I'm 45 and my partner is 49 and is showing a good sperm count. Reading various forums it generally says the stats of using your own eggs through IVF at my age are less than 1%. So others have any feedback on this? Is it worth trying with my own eggs? Would dearly love to be able to use my own if possible but given my age I'm not too sure. Any thoughts, opinions etc would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
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    Hi Tadine,

    this is my first post! I am also 45. I have had 4 rounds of IVF with improved results each time, but unfortunately, never a pregnancy. I had a lot of hope going into this process and I felt that I had to at least try and that I would defy the odds. But, knowing what I know now, I wish I had commenced a donor egg (DE) round of IVF instead. Once you start, it's hard to know when you should give yourself permission to stop - you keep thinking that maybe the next cycle will be the one that will help you to realise your dream of having a child. My husband is quite pragmatic and pointed out that getting pregnant is only one step of the process.The stats are simply not in our favour. The chance of a miscarriage at our age is quite high. Check out the "live birth stats" at your clinic - it is a real eye opener at our age. I have done a lot of soul searching and I have followed the journeys of many women on some of the other forums here that have realised their dreams by using DEs. It's not had I imagined my journey but I have come to terms with this and understand that there are many ways to realise your dream of having a family. I wish you all the very best with your journey.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Notalone For This Useful Post:

    Blossom74  (11-05-2017),tadine  (11-05-2017)

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Notalone View Post
    Hi Tadine,

    this is my first post! I am also 45. I have had 4 rounds of IVF with improved results each time, but unfortunately, never a pregnancy. I had a lot of hope going into this process and I felt that I had to at least try and that I would defy the odds. But, knowing what I know now, I wish I had commenced a donor egg (DE) round of IVF instead. Once you start, it's hard to know when you should give yourself permission to stop - you keep thinking that maybe the next cycle will be the one that will help you to realise your dream of having a child. My husband is quite pragmatic and pointed out that getting pregnant is only one step of the process.The stats are simply not in our favour. The chance of a miscarriage at our age is quite high. Check out the "live birth stats" at your clinic - it is a real eye opener at our age. I have done a lot of soul searching and I have followed the journeys of many women on some of the other forums here that have realised their dreams by using DEs. It's not had I imagined my journey but I have come to terms with this and understand that there are many ways to realise your dream of having a family. I wish you all the very best with your journey.

    You make an excellent point @Notalone. According my my IVF clinic I'd be one of their 'success stories' having actually achieved a pregnancy through them. However, that doesn't count for much in our eyes, miscarrying our baby at 8 1/2 weeks. Success Rates and Live Birth Rates are two VERY different things.

    We have had a good result (*so far*) with donor eggs. @Tadine, you will remember my story from the IVF Over 40's thread earlier this morning. I am currently 32 weeks pregnant and we are expecting this bubba (our first together) a month prior to my 43rd birthday thanks to donor eggs. Hubby is 53.

    I very much understand the need/want to try with your own eggs, but I also regret spending all that valuable money and time (not to mention the emotional trauma) that our own egg attempts gave us. DH and I are far from well-off and we could have used those resources much more wisely in hindsight. Each to their own though - you do hear of miracle stories from time to time, and I sure hope you are one of them if you choose to go ahead with your own eggs

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Blossom74 For This Useful Post:

    Notalone  (11-05-2017),tadine  (11-05-2017)

  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom74 View Post
    You make an excellent point @Notalone. According my my IVF clinic I'd be one of their 'success stories' having actually achieved a pregnancy through them. However, that doesn't count for much in our eyes, miscarrying our baby at 8 1/2 weeks. Success Rates and Live Birth Rates are two VERY different things.

    We have had a good result (*so far*) with donor eggs. @Tadine, you will remember my story from the IVF Over 40's thread earlier this morning. I am currently 32 weeks pregnant and we are expecting this bubba (our first together) a month prior to my 43rd birthday thanks to donor eggs. Hubby is 53.

    I very much understand the need/want to try with your own eggs, but I also regret spending all that valuable money and time (not to mention the emotional trauma) that our own egg attempts gave us. DH and I are far from well-off and we could have used those resources much more wisely in hindsight. Each to their own though - you do hear of miracle stories from time to time, and I sure hope you are one of them if you choose to go ahead with your own eggs
    I am sorry you went through that heartache @Blossom74, it certainly is an emotional rollercoaster. I am also really happy that you are pregnant with your first and due very soon. I hope to follow the DE route later in the year. I have been looking at overseas clinics and in particular, clinics in Greece. I have been following a forum very closely on that very topic! All the very best for the remainder of your pregnancy. If you don't mind me asking, did you find a donor here or did you go overseas?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Notalone View Post
    I am sorry you went through that heartache @Blossom74, it certainly is an emotional rollercoaster. I am also really happy that you are pregnant with your first and due very soon. I hope to follow the DE route later in the year. I have been looking at overseas clinics and in particular, clinics in Greece. I have been following a forum very closely on that very topic! All the very best for the remainder of your pregnancy. If you don't mind me asking, did you find a donor here or did you go overseas?

    I found a donor locally hon. I met her through an online forum and she offered to help me about 4 weeks after I joined. We are still good friends and stay in regular contact now via FB. The site is very much in favour of known donation (as opposed to anonymous) but if you're interested I can PM you the group name

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    Notalone  (11-05-2017)

  10. #6
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    Yes please, that would be great. Thanks @Blossom74.

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  12. #7
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    Hi @Notalone, thanks so much for your reply. It's great to get some feedback from people who have already gone down the track that I'm about to head down and especially when you are the same age. From reading what others have said it does look like I'll need to go down the donar track. I guess you always hope that maybe you'll be different. I do want to give it at least one round but obviously need to be realistic at the same time. I also never wanted to consider a DE but but it may be what I end up doing. All the best with your journey too.
    Last edited by tadine; 11-05-2017 at 17:34.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Notalone View Post
    Yes please, that would be great. Thanks @Blossom74.

    Tried to PM you hon but you need to do a few more posts before you are eligible to receive PM's

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  15. #9
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    Thanks @Blossom74 - I was trying to work out where the PM would be found!
    @tadine - I completely understand. You will know when you're ready. My husband knew from the beginning, but I had to go through my own processing of the situation at hand. Thank you for your wishes.

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  17. #10
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    Hi @Blossom74, so happy that you are pregnant and what a wonderful birthday present for you! It's such an emotional journey and one that my partner and i are just starting together. Eagerly absorbing as much info from all of these fabulous ladies experiences. I hope that i will be able to contribute also as i go on my journey.

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