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  1. #1
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    Default Hey Everyone :) need advice! Daycare dilemma!

    Hi guys, I'm totally new to this obvs. The reason for my joining is that I need advice from other mums in regards to daycare!

    I started my son 2.5 at daycare 3 weeks ago! Once a week for 3 hours only. For the pure fact that I want him to socialise with other kids and for learning.

    day 1: cried but settled quickly
    day 2: cried but settled quickly
    day 3: he seemed overly upset and clingy.
    I practically had to rip him off me and hand him to his carer! He also started crying the minute we pulled in the driveway.
    Tomorrow is day 4 and I have huge anxiety about taking him!

    Every time I mention the word 'school' he says 'no mummy school and gets really upset. 'Mummy me stay here' (home).

    I mentioned today/tonight that he will be going tomorrow and he's been really upset and basically looking for me to reassure him that he won't be going.

    He's such a happy boy - does not cry a lot.
    So when he cries I know it's something that's really effecting him.
    However he is quite a shy kid so this is also a factor.

    Also I'm really happy with the centre and carers they seem to be really helpful so that's not an issue.

    I feel really guilty! Not sure if I am making the right decision here.



    Your advice really needed!

  2. #2
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    At only 3 hours a week once a week he's never going to settle down to be honest. The other kids are there several days and all know each other. If you were put in a room with strangers that met all the time, and you just came for a couple of hours every week, you're never going to feel comfortable.

    Sorry I don't mean this to be unkind but it's reading that way. I would consider two days in a row if your budget stretches that far. I know it seems mean "oh you're not liking it? Let me increase your hours!". But I think you have to go more or not go at all

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  4. #3
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    3hrs once a week is such a long time between for a little person.

    Most centres recommend 2days as a minimum as the children get used to it and more familiar much faster.

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    lizpen89  (08-05-2017)

  6. #4
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    Totally makes sense. I understand the two days a week and it definitely has crossed my mind... I'm just super hesitant to leave him for a long period of time! Esp. Because I am at home.
    But i def agree go more or not at all.

  7. #5
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    You could try one full day as well and see if he settles with the longer day. My DD went one day a week from 1-4 and even through her worst stage of separation anxiety, she loved going to DC. Which was my saviour as every other day she was on or all over me, and I needed a break for my sanity!

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  9. #6
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    Agree it's not enough time to settle, I'd go one full day first, three hours seems, once it takes him a while to settle and then he has to leave, full day all the way, I'd do 9-3 then increase to 5pm he will still cry but after a while he will love it. Mine was 2 and he went two full days a week, after crying for a couple of weeks he learnt to love it and says it was the best time of his life lol now nearly 11... his best friend til this day he met at that daycare, lifelong pals they'll be. Xx

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  11. #7
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    Could you look into playgroups locally instead? My first was not a clingy kid so it's hard to compare but we did swimming lessons and dancing and playgroup and story time at the library and mothers group catch ups at the park, she went to her first preschool session for 3 hours a week after she turned 3 and she didn't care a toss that I left. My second hasn't had those experiences and she will be 3.5 when she starts preschool next year and I'm not as confident with her but she does see her big sister go to school so I'm sure she will adjust.

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  13. #8
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    Default Hey Everyone :) need advice! Daycare dilemma!

    When I started my clingy/shy dd1 at 3 I found it got worse before it got better. Man I felt so bad when I thought she was doing ok but then after few weeks in they had to prise her off me in hysterics. I desperately wanted to pull her out but knew it was important for her to learn to adapt and be away from me.

    Does he eventually settle once you leave?

    I often got told to put her in for more than a day but there was only the one day free at the centre anyway. She adjusted fine in the end, but still have phases where she doesn't want to go. I made it "funday friday" and used bribes such as kinder surprises and promises of fun afterwards lol

    I started with 3 hours, next week 3.5, then 4 etc till she's now there for 6/7 hours (times depend on dd2's naps).

    Good luck, I know how much it breaks your heart

    ETA: even now at 4 dd1 would always choose to be at home with me any day, but I don't give her that choice lol! We now do 2 days since start of this year as preparation for school, so it's "magic Monday" and "funday Friday"
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 08-05-2017 at 08:32.

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  15. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    When I started my clingy/shy dd1 at 3 I found it got worse before it got better. Man I felt so bad when I thought she was doing ok but then after few weeks in they had to prise her off me in hysterics. I desperately wanted to pull her out but knew it was important for her to learn to adapt and be away from me.

    Does he eventually settle once you leave?

    I often got told to put her in for more than a day but there was only the one day free at the centre anyway. She adjusted fine in the end, but still have phases where she doesn't want to go. I made it "funday friday" and used bribes such as kinder surprises and promises of fun afterwards lol

    I started with 3 hours, next week 3.5, then 4 etc till she's now there for 6/7 hours (times depend on dd2's naps).

    Good luck, I know how much it breaks your heart

    ETA: even now at 4 dd1 would always choose to be at home with me any day, but I don't give her that choice lol! We now do 2 days since start of this year as preparation for school, so it's "magic Monday" and "funday Friday"
    Thank you! Awesome advice.

    He does settle after about 1/2hr so that's a positive.

    I will try increasing his hours and see how he goes

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  17. #10
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    Yeah my sister used to give a toy after day care too

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-05-2017)


 

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