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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beljane View Post
    It's the system (ie Government) we have a problem with. .
    Curious about what you mean by this exactly?

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    SSecret Squirrel  (06-05-2017)

  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    I honestly don't mean to be rude i promise. I am very passionate about homeschooling and children. I just don't like how so many people think school is the only option and that kids need to just get used to it and fit in. I do understand not all families can homeschool for different reasons but i want to put it out there that it is a real option and if you really do the research of pros and cons you could at least think about it..

    The reasons i think school (most main****** schools) can be damaging is children forced to learn and work with not much play time. Kids learn through play. They get into trouble if they squirm or move in their seats when they need to move about.

    Peer pressure. Constantly needing to fit in. To be the best. Not just with socislisation but the constant testing. Children should love learning not be forced. It should be at their own pace too. School is a one size fits all approach which isnt right imo.

    Only being in a classroom with kids the same age. This isnt real life.

    I will be back but i gotta cook dinner..
    I think you make really valid points and I admire you greatly for following your beliefs and homeschooling. The idea of homeschooling really appeals to me the more I research. We aren't 100% ready to commit to this at this time in our lives but will continue to revisit the prospect as I love it so much 😊

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  5. #53
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    OP - have you looked into any independent schools in your area. I have a friend in the process of starting one up here. She's been telling me quite a bit about it (trying to get me on board lol) and it might be a decent alternative for your DD. More independent focussed learning for your DD, a good mix of kids, some of whom probably have similar issues to your DD, parents who by their very presence at an independent school are probably willing to be social and community minded?

    In the meantime, my DD was seeing a psychologist for a while and it helped her quite a bit - I hope you have the same experience

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    I think you make really valid points and I admire you greatly for following your beliefs and homeschooling. The idea of homeschooling really appeals to me the more I research. We aren't 100% ready to commit to this at this time in our lives but will continue to revisit the prospect as I love it so much 😊
    Awesome.! And thank you 😊

  7. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by magicmashie View Post
    A lot of the points you have raised about school being damaging to children are things they need to learn for "real life". You think peer pressure only happens in schools? You don't think they will face any tests in their adult careers?

    They won't be equipped to deal with any of this because they will never have faced any of it at home
    Children shouldn't be faced with these things though.
    They're gonna get jobs one day too so should they all start child labor too?!

  8. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winter Is Coming View Post
    Firstly, what is socialisation?

    Definition A: changing ones behaviour and finding a role in order to fit in in a particular social situation.

    Definition B: spending time with other people.
    I meant spending enough time with the same people that you build a deep and lasting friendship. I think the way this normally would work for homeschoolers is that you meet someone at karate or drama or some regular organised event, you click, and then you arrange to see each other more often? For me, this "clicking" will never happen, so I would be worried that DD wouldn't have any friends. At school, she sees the same kids every day, so I figure there is a better chance of building a friendship (not that it's working quite that way at the moment!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Foxy View Post
    You can then write a little note with your phone number and your DD can give to her friend to take home. Sorry if this is obvious...
    Really? The mums communicate in writing? That's so much easier...no conversation required. And it wasn't at all obvious to me, so thanks.

    I think if we can crack the friends problem, then DD will be more confident about who she is and might be a bit less anxious.

    Something I'm also vaguely thinking about for her confidence on the learning tasks is some tutoring (ducks for cover before getting flamed by others for putting to much pressure on already stressed child)...

    The reason I thought of this is that I've noticed that she isn't at all worried about her reading because she's quite far ahead of everyone else in the class (and she can tell because they all have different level readers so she can objectively compare herself). If she was also that far ahead with her maths and writing, she might not be so concerned? Maybe if she can learn and make the mistakes with a tutor first, then she'll be more confident when they learn the material in class because she will have seen it before? (To be crystal clear, the intention would be to boost her confidence, not that I think she needs to learn more stuff. I am really not a tiger mum or into putting pressure on her).

    Then again, I don't really want to spend all her time learning - she's only 5 and needs downtime as well. I'd really love it if I could just pick her up at lunchtime each day and then take her for some private tutoring!

    This has also got me thinking - her homework every day is reading, but she's good at that already and might benefit from maths or something instead. Then I could round her abilities out without the tutoring. I might chat with the teacher about that...

  9. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by zelda View Post
    OP - have you looked into any independent schools in your area. I have a friend in the process of starting one up here. She's been telling me quite a bit about it (trying to get me on board lol) and it might be a decent alternative for your DD. More independent focussed learning for your DD, a good mix of kids, some of whom probably have similar issues to your DD, parents who by their very presence at an independent school are probably willing to be social and community minded?

    In the meantime, my DD was seeing a psychologist for a while and it helped her quite a bit - I hope you have the same experience
    Thanks Zelda, yes I did go and see two independent schools last year when I was trying to choose a school. They weren't quite right for us, but maybe there are others I haven't considered.

    When I found DD's school I was so excited - it's a public school, and very similar to what BigRedV described at her school - flexible learning spaces, no set seats, individual goals etc. I felt really lucky that they accepted us even though we were out of the catchment. I really tried my best to find a great school and I'm pretty gutted that it isn't working out as planned.

  10. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    Thanks Zelda, yes I did go and see two independent schools last year when I was trying to choose a school. They weren't quite right for us, but maybe there are others I haven't considered.

    When I found DD's school I was so excited - it's a public school, and very similar to what BigRedV described at her school - flexible learning spaces, no set seats, individual goals etc. I felt really lucky that they accepted us even though we were out of the catchment. I really tried my best to find a great school and I'm pretty gutted that it isn't working out as planned.
    Try not to get too disheartened with it yet. Sometimes it's more the personality of the child. I've also heard my very sensitive DD say things like "I wish I was dead". It's horrible to hear but we worked thru it and she has stopped saying it. Last year (her 1st year at school) she really struggled with 1 of her teachers and also with maths. The concept was foreign to her and because she wasn't good at it she got so upset with herself. After chatting with the teacher it slowly got better. Like yours, my DD held it all in but I explained to her teacher how upset she was about "not getting it" and the teacher set aside time to explain it to her one on one. The teacher had no idea she was upset because DD wouldn't show it at school. I also had chats with DD about how everyone is good at different things - her strength is reading and writing. Not so much with maths and physical activity - just like her mum😄. We supported her through it and this year she loves school and her new teacher and is thriving. With some work, the same might happen for your DD.
    Last edited by Redcorset; 06-05-2017 at 23:08.

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  12. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    Children shouldn't be faced with these things though.
    They're gonna get jobs one day too so should they all start child labor too?!
    What? That is a really strange comparison! Yes they are "gonna" get jobs one day and I unfortunately suspect that their choice will be very limited in that regard as they will be competing with adults that have had formal education and not just been taught at home through play by mum. As much as you don't want your kids competing it's a part of life and if you leave it until they are adults to introduce this they are going to be a fish out of water.

    It's tough out there. Some Employers won't even look at you if you don't have a degree these days. I really don't understand homeschooling and how that doesn't disadvantage kids in the long term. I don't understand how being taught at home by mum is as good as going to school in all aspects- social and education wise.

    It's time to cut the apron strings and let your kids out of the house to learn, make friends and grow as a human. By all means help them settle in and if they are struggling, look at ways to help but pulling them out of school is not the answer imo.

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  14. #60
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    Default Definitions of socialisation

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Whose definitions are those?

    Yes, one meaning can be to change to fit in and be socially acceptable. Doesn't necessarily mean it's always a bad thing. I fart a lot at home and in the car but I wouldn't do it on a train or even with certain friends.

    My children are not limited to socialising with children who are exactly the same age as them. My son plays soccer with the big kids at school and my daughter enjoys the company of the younger girls. She's in year 3 but plays a lot with the girls in year 1 and 2.

    I'm not sure why you would question my definitions of socialisation (especially when you then agree with one) but here you go:

    socialization

    səʊʃ(ə)lʌɪˈzeɪʃ(ə)n/

    noun

    noun: socialisation

    1.

    the activity of mixing socially with others.

    "socialization with students has helped her communication skills"

    2.

    the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.

    "pre-school starts the process of socialization"

    3.

    organization of an industry or company according to the principles of socialism.

    "planned economic growth was accompanied by the socialization of agriculture"


    I simply googled define socialisation and this is what came up first. You are welcome.

    I also don't know why you would inform me that changing to fit in is not always a bad thing (when you just quoted me explaining the situations in which my children change to fit in).

    My seven year old has better reading comprehension than some teachers, it appears😕.

    That's lovely how your kids are able to pay with children a couple of years apart. On Fridays, my kids played with others with an age range of 13 years. It's very beneficial.


 

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