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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    You have started a thread previously asking for advice about distance education and your son who has anxiety.

    Teachers often *do* know there is something going on with a child. We have the learning support team and school counsellors. We are teachers. Not psychologists or therapists or doctors. The amount of times we have raised things with parents who do nothing to help their child yet they expect us to wave a magic wand and "fix" their child.
    He has never been diagnosed with anxiety or anything else for that matter but he has shown many signs of anxiety after a traumatic experience at a state school that involved bullying by a TEACHER. Since we started doing distance education there is absolutely no sign of even a remote amount of anxiety. His Psychologist thinks it was a form of PTSD that he has grown n out of and there is no need for further investigation.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Someone else previously mentioned mental health issues on the increase in young people and pretty sure they were insinuating that this was because of school? Could be wrong. I would argue parenting has vastly changed over the years. Let's not put the blame on main****** education alone.
    That was me. Just to clarify, I was not laying blame on school. It was more of a comment about the fact that mental illness has increased in children and this is something that needs to be taken into consideration. I think most Teachers are amazing people with great passion, I wouldn't be wasting my time doing a Bachelor of Education if I didn't.

    As I previously stated, I have no issue with main****** schooling and my children will likely end up back there in the future. I was just trying to help the OP with some options.
    (the whole point of this thread). She can take what she needs from it.

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    Those photos still look like theyre forced to learn. All obeying. All wearing the same thing. Just robots. Yes there is multi-aged learning but how often?
    You're making pretty broad assumptions about these kids. I loved school growing up, I wasn't being 'forced' to obey and learn, I loved learning. Many kids do. Learning how to follow directions and instructions is not 'being forced to obey.' Do you have no rules at home or boundaries you expect your children to respect? Do you never explain/teach them instructions to games or how to solve certain problems?

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  7. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    Thanks everyone for the responses and what a great exchange of ideas on homeschooling (sort of!).

    FWIW, I have considered homeschooling. I believe my little girl would probably do better academically that way. However, I'm a fairly strong introvert, and I don't think I'm well enough equipped to give my kids the right social opportunities. From those of you who like the homeschooling approach, I'm interested to hear your thoughts on that? What are the homsechooling groups that you've talked about? I thought homeschooling was at home with just the parent and kids?

    So homeschooling is not completely off the table for us but I'd like to try to get things working at school first. I do think the teachers are good and will do their very best to help. As BigRedV said, there could be an underlying issue (anxiety probably) that still needs to be dealt with and DD's teacher could bring some helpful insight and support.

    The advice on explicitly helping DD to make friends is something I think is really useful and I'm actually not very good at this myself. I see all the mothers talking to each other at pickup and dropoff and I have no idea how to break into those conversations or form relationships with them. Yet I'm painfully aware that playdates between the kids hinge on the relationships between the mothers....feels so complicated and yet everyone else seems to do it so easily! How do you all do that? Maybe the psych can help with friend-making strategies....

    Jarylee, you're right about "overwhelming emotions" for DD and I think I'll ask the psychologist specifically for some ideas about how to help her self-regulate. Did your DS get better after year 3? It seems like a long time to wait.

    So much to think about....
    He got better each year however year 3 was a real turning point and just keeps getting better. In his diagnosis report it states that often gifted children struggle the most between 5 - 9. This isn't for all children but a common theme. Very true for my DS. I continued to follow my instincts throughout these years (and still do). Even googling and understanding the gifted mind can be very helpful in terms of parenting strategies. Happy to share any of our experiences that may help you in anyway. Giftedness is often misunderstood and I felt alone in the parenting journey more often than not. He is thriving now and learning to accept who he is and understanding his differences. He doesn't try to conform anymore which has lifted a huge weight off his shoulders. It's quite remarkable to witness actually

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  9. #45
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    @BigRedV thank you for sharing those glorious pictures, I saw a lot of joy from those children.
    Thank you to all the teachers on this thread who have commented, I know you do a wonderful job and are caring and passionate professionals. Thank you for what you do and the time you sacrifice teaching our children. Some of the comments in this thread have to be anger inducing!!!

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  11. #46
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    I just got a notification from class dojo app. My son's teacher just posted 3 new photos of the kids doing their science experiment. It's 9pm on a Saturday night...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    I honestly don't mean to be rude i promise. I am very passionate about homeschooling and children. I just don't like how so many people think school is the only option and that kids need to just get used to it and fit in. I do understand not all families can homeschool for different reasons but i want to put it out there that it is a real option and if you really do the research of pros and cons you could at least think about it..

    The reasons i think school (most main****** schools) can be damaging is children forced to learn and work with not much play time. Kids learn through play. They get into trouble if they squirm or move in their seats when they need to move about.

    Peer pressure. Constantly needing to fit in. To be the best. Not just with socislisation but the constant testing. Children should love learning not be forced. It should be at their own pace too. School is a one size fits all approach which isnt right imo.

    Only being in a classroom with kids the same age. This isnt real life.

    I will be back but i gotta cook dinner..
    A lot of the points you have raised about school being damaging to children are things they need to learn for "real life". You think peer pressure only happens in schools? You don't think they will face any tests in their adult careers?

    They won't be equipped to deal with any of this because they will never have faced any of it at home

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  15. #48
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    Default socialisation

    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    Thanks everyone for the responses and what a great exchange of ideas on homeschooling (sort of!).

    FWIW, I have considered homeschooling. I believe my little girl would probably do better academically that way. However, I'm a fairly strong introvert, and I don't think I'm well enough equipped to give my kids the right social opportunities. From those of you who like the homeschooling approach, I'm interested to hear your thoughts on that? What are the homsechooling groups that you've talked about? I thought homeschooling was at home with just the parent and kids?

    So homeschooling is not completely off the table for us but I'd like to try to get things working at school first. I do think the teachers are good and will do their very best to help. As BigRedV said, there could be an underlying issue (anxiety probably) that still needs to be dealt with and DD's teacher could bring some helpful insight and support.

    The advice on explicitly helping DD to make friends is something I think is really useful and I'm actually not very good at this myself. I see all the mothers talking to each other at pickup and dropoff and I have no idea how to break into those conversations or form relationships with them. Yet I'm painfully aware that playdates between the kids hinge on the relationships between the mothers....feels so complicated and yet everyone else seems to do it so easily! How do you all do that? Maybe the psych can help with friend-making strategies....

    Jarylee, you're right about "overwhelming emotions" for DD and I think I'll ask the psychologist specifically for some ideas about how to help her self-regulate. Did your DS get better after year 3? It seems like a long time to wait.

    So much to think about....

    Firstly, what is socialisation?

    Definition A: changing ones behaviour and finding a role in order to fit in in a particular social situation.

    Definition B: spending time with other people.

    Secondly, which kind of socialisation offers the most variety of roles, allows mentoring, allows for children to take risks and be challenged more: vertical or horizontal?

    Vertical: engaging with people of a variety of ages.

    Horizontal: engaging with people the same age as yourself.

    If you are asking about definition A, then my children are not socialised at school, they don't take on roles and change their behaviour to fit in with other kids the same age in a school setting. That's perfectly fine with me.

    They do change behaviour and take on roles in a wide variety of situations, many of which are applicable to life after school.

    Eg: karate, working at op shops, restaurants, trains, markets, supermarkets, garage sales, museums, science centres, theme parks, airports, etc.

    If you just mean definition B, then rest assured, my kids have contact with people frequently.

    Homeschooling is a misnomer. We don't spend our time at home. My family doesn't anyway.

    Home ed groups are usually found on Facebook. If you join "The Educating Parents Homeschooling and Unschooling" facebook group, you can ask what groups are local to you.

    Our family catches up with six different home ed groups. Three groups meet fortnightly, one monthly, and the others meet often too but we just make the effort to go to special events every few months because they are not close by.
    One time we took our caravan for 4 days and went to 5 events (hydroponic farm, chocolate place, science centre, playground day, metal sculptures, plus we went to Sovereign Hill by ourselves).

    We also try to get to three home ed camps each year plus the Not Back To School Party at a theme park. There were a few hundred people at the event this year.

    We also do classes with school kids: swimming, music, and karate.

    As to being an introvert, that's OK. Perfectly ok.

    I had to repeat kindergarten because I didn't speak to anyone in the first year. I struggle to know what to say in new face to face situations (I prefer online). I am now pretty sure I am an Aspie, and I am wondering if you could be too (and your DD). Female Aspies are less often diagnosed than males.
    Given that I don't know much about you I could be barking up the wrong tree, but it could be worth thinking about.

    Unschooling is a popular method of home education for children with Asperger's.

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  17. #49
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    I think a lot of people here have misinterpreted some of these posts. Nobody is hating on Teachers. It's the system (ie Government) we have a problem with. I have a great deal of respect for Teachers and know that they work extremely hard. I think that there is a huge lack of understanding on what homeschooling is, how it works and the fact that you CAN raise thriving children this way and they have equal opportunity to be just as ready for real life after schooling as their non-homescooled peers. I concede that not all Teachers are equal (I have come across a few that really should leave the profession as they have clearly lost their empathy and passion). I look foward to the day I get to make a difference in the classroom and hope that some big leaps Forward are made by those who rule education so to speak.

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  19. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winter Is Coming View Post
    Firstly, what is socialisation?

    Definition A: changing ones behaviour and finding a role in order to fit in in a particular social situation.

    Definition B: spending time with other people.

    Secondly, which kind of socialisation offers the most variety of roles, allows mentoring, allows for children to take risks and be challenged more: vertical or horizontal?

    Vertical: engaging with people of a variety of ages.

    Horizontal: engaging with people the same age as yourself.

    If you are asking about definition A, then my children are not socialised at school, they don't take on roles and change their behaviour to fit in with other kids the same age in a school setting. That's perfectly fine with me.

    They do change behaviour and take on roles in a wide variety of situations, many of which are applicable to life after school.

    Eg: karate, working at op shops, restaurants, trains, markets, supermarkets, garage sales, museums, science centres, theme parks, airports, etc.

    If you just mean definition B, then rest assured, my kids have contact with people frequently.

    Homeschooling is a misnomer. We don't spend our time at home. My family doesn't anyway.

    Home ed groups are usually found on Facebook. If you join "The Educating Parents Homeschooling and Unschooling" facebook group, you can ask what groups are local to you.

    Our family catches up with six different home ed groups. Three groups meet fortnightly, one monthly, and the others meet often too but we just make the effort to go to special events every few months because they are not close by.
    One time we took our caravan for 4 days and went to 5 events (hydroponic farm, chocolate place, science centre, playground day, metal sculptures, plus we went to Sovereign Hill by ourselves).

    We also try to get to three home ed camps each year plus the Not Back To School Party at a theme park. There were a few hundred people at the event this year.

    We also do classes with school kids: swimming, music, and karate.

    As to being an introvert, that's OK. Perfectly ok.

    I had to repeat kindergarten because I didn't speak to anyone in the first year. I struggle to know what to say in new face to face situations (I prefer online). I am now pretty sure I am an Aspie, and I am wondering if you could be too (and your DD). Female Aspies are less often diagnosed than males.
    Given that I don't know much about you I could be barking up the wrong tree, but it could be worth thinking about.

    Unschooling is a popular method of home education for children with Asperger's.
    Whose definitions are those?

    Yes, one meaning can be to change to fit in and be socially acceptable. Doesn't necessarily mean it's always a bad thing. I fart a lot at home and in the car but I wouldn't do it on a train or even with certain friends.

    My children are not limited to socialising with children who are exactly the same age as them. My son plays soccer with the big kids at school and my daughter enjoys the company of the younger girls. She's in year 3 but plays a lot with the girls in year 1 and 2.

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