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  1. #181
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    Default WWYD? Trouble settling into big school

    What about your own career winter is coming? Are you prepared to not work until your children finish school? What happens if at one stage down the track you don't want to be at home anymore? It could potentially be a case where your child might have to go to school?

    I can imagine it is very exhausting!

  2. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winter Is Coming View Post
    Perhaps you missed the start of the conversation. I was talking about if my son was interested in engineering, did some work experience, and we discussed with universities the pathways, then we figure out a plan together.
    No I didn't miss the start of the conversation and I stand by my comments.

    A child does not have the skills to assess their knowledge and understanding of subject content. They cannot ascertain their own knowledge gaps in an area.

    A 16/17 year old investigating university options would become aware of their own limitations but leaving it that late means they will need to undertake significant amounts of catchup work requiring huge amounts of motivation and discipline.

    FWIW I did advanced maths and science subjects at school and maths at a university level. I have a son studying engineering at university and a daughter studying advanced maths and science at a senior level, and another daughter in the extension classes in a younger grade. I also have a special needs child. I am very familiar with current subject content and the amount of catchup work a child whose exposure to maths was through play. Measuring a fish tank is a good practical way to understand volume of 3D objects and measuring cups of sugar and flour while cooking is a practical application of fractions but neither will give a child a foundation for subjects required to get a child into university level maths.

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  4. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winter Is Coming View Post
    Perhaps you missed the start of the conversation. I was talking about if my son was interested in engineering, did some work experience, and we discussed with universities the pathways, then we figure out a plan together.
    I know I'm harping on about this aspect, but should you choose to go down this path, I can pretty much guarantee your son would not become an engineer or if he did it would be 10 years after later than those that followed a traditional path.

    I imagine, but don't know for sure, that this would also apply to many professions such as medicine, law and aviation.

    My only concern is that parents are unwittingly limiting their children's options.

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  6. #184
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    Agree with you Squirrel. A child doesn't know what academic deficits they have to get into their chosen field. That's the whole purpose of a curriculum. While I feel there should be some movement there, and there is, outcomes can be fulfilled with so many different exercises/perspectives - it's a baseline. I chose Maths in Society in yr 11/12 which was the middle maths (coughs, in the 90's) bc I knew I didn't want to do a profession with maths. But I did 3 unit english. Bc again, I knew I wanted to do something related, which I did. But I still had the maths skills to not only live life, but to apply for lots and lots of non maths related degrees.

    We have a curriculum for a reason.

    I also feel it's fair to point out that a home schooled, or even more so unschooled child, isn't going to say "hey mum/dad, I love you but you really aren't fulfilling the maths level I need to be an x,y or z. Can you put me in the local high school please?"

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  8. #185
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    I would too. But I don't often ask people where did you go to school? So who knows if they were homeschooled. With all the preconceptions and ignorance about the subject, I'd not be surprised if people don't mention the fact they were home educated.

    I don't think playground politics are healthy or necessary to a developing person. I think they can be downright damaging. So many adults were bullied as children and continue to be bullied as adults, in the workplace. I don't find myself involved in any situation that is anything like school was. If you meet jerks in life, you avoid them, you don't have to tolerate them like you did in school. I'm fine with my kids only spending time around other people who respect them, that's ok with me.

    Conflict management? Happens about 45 times a day in this house of three children and 2 adults.
    I don't ask people where they went to school outright to find out if any were homeschooled, but conversations about school has definitely come up.
    I was also very clear that I wasn't talking about bullying when it came to playground politics...they are two different things. My kids fight too, but it's so different to the school playground. The way my kids respond to each other is not how they deal with things at school, and we actually draw on that card when the sibling rivalry heats up at home. We ask them how they would handle this situation at school...and the answer is never the same as what they are doing at home.

    I will say, I hated school as a kid, absolutely hated it with a passion. I considered home schooling when my kids were babies because I didn't want them to spend so many years hating something like I did. But...school is nothing like it was when I went, it's evolved quite a lot. My kids, all vastly different in personalities, have thrived in school. The things they have gained from attending school I wouldn't have been able to mimic teaching at home.

  9. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Nette View Post
    My only concern is that parents are unwittingly limiting their children's options.
    I typed up a huge reply on my thoughts but have deleted because this sums up my feelings on the matter.

  10. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winter Is Coming View Post
    If you think designing a learning program with the input of the child, based on their strengths and weaknesses and passions is limiting, you should look at a one size fits all approach for comparison.
    Haven't read to the end of the thread yet, but I'm seeing quite a bit of what really seems to be a 'straw man' constuction of formal mains.tream education deployed here. It's like homeschooling and unschooling are often comparing themselves to a 1950s education or something like that. Education *is* now personalised and tailored by good teachers. And kids have time to pursue their passions outside of school hours too.

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  12. #188
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    Default WWYD? Trouble settling into big school

    Touching on the OP and some comments in here about life skills, the real world, etc.

    I have had anxiety since I was a child, I'm a weird mix of coming off as quite a social butterfly and many would highly doubt I am shy or anxious but I often shut down, avoid situations, or feel sick to my stomach due to my anxiety. As a kid I often wanted to quit things because of my anxiety and being scared that nobody liked me, and often, my parents let me. In all honesty, I really think they did me a disservice by letting me quit so often because even as an adult I struggle with resilience and sticking with things if my anxiety kicks in. Besides loving children, it's one of the reasons I stayed a nanny, because it was solo and I was too scared to try other things. When I first left for University I had an anxiety attack the second week because I convinced myself I was going to fail and I dropped out and went home. The mentality that it is just easier to runaway and quit has definitely followed me into adulthood. OP, definitely seek outside help for your daughter to become more confident and pursue your worries regarding her but I think this whole attitude of just letting your child quit something any time they struggle or are uncomfortable is laying the ground work for them to struggle as adults.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 07-05-2017 at 19:36.

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  14. #189
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    Haven't read to the end of the thread yet, but I'm seeing quite a bit of what really seems to be a 'straw man' constuction of formal mains.tream education deployed here. It's like homeschooling and unschooling are often comparing themselves to a 1950s education or something like that. Education *is* now personalised and tailored by good teachers. And kids have time to pursue their passions outside of school hours too.
    Oh absolutely this!!! I have 16 students across three year levels. Do know how many maths lessons/activities/tasks I have designed for tomorrow? 13! Every kid is basically at a different level, but I can pair up a couple, thankfully. One size fits all I wish!!

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    Default Reply to OP

    I have six children, three went to school just like they are "meant" to. And all three of them have had one struggle after another. Some years were okay but others were hell. When my now 14yr old son was not even 6, he started telling me he wanted to die, he said it often and would describe exactly how he would do it. I tried getting him help and nobody would help him. I tried my hardest but it didn't really help. The suicide talk did stop but he cried for help in other ways like OCD tendencies, turning into a bully and being super energetic. Finally in year 5 I pulled him out of school because I had had enough of the system and how it was failing him. He stayed home being home educated until beginning of year 9 (last year) when he decided to give school another try. He got into all of the top classes. Within a month his behaviour went backwards and he started acting out. I wanted him to come home again but he wanted to stick it out. Around this time I decided to never send my younger three children to school because I felt it had failed my other three. I then decided to offer my older three the chance to come home and try unschooling. They all, one by one, decided to come home. I have watched all three thrive after coming home and my sons behaviour has settled, my 16yr old is doing much better and my 9yr old is no longer feeing like his life is pointless. Sometimes school isn't for a child, sometimes that child cries out for help in ways you wouldn't believe, and sometimes parents are able to do what's right for their hold instead of believing the stereotypical crap about homeschoolers. Obviously if you work and it isn't an option then that is fair enough, but don't let your pride stand in the way of helping your child.

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