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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Default Stressed about hubby returning to work after baby #2

    Hi ladies, hubby has been off work for the last 4 weeks and has been an amazing help, but goes back on Monday. He leaves at around 6:30am and doesn't get home until 6-6:30pm. I have found myself feeling quite emotional and snappy this week and I realised that I'm worrying about him going back to work and me being alone with 2 kids. I'm pretty sure my 4yo's daycare days (3 days) will be fine apart from trying to get out of the house to get her there, but I'm worried about the 2 days I'm home alone with both of them.

    I guess I'm hoping for some strategies or a plan for coping with the two of them on my own. I'm not even sure what I'm asking, I just need something to feel like I'm a little bit in control of this situation. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Hi there, I've just had my first Bub three months ago and hubby started a new job two weeks before we had our baby, so I think I understand your feelings. Things that helped me were sticking to one appointment, activity a day, bulk cooking, breaking the day down into small chunks for my mind helped me cope, it's not that daunting. Hubby rings me at a set time each day to check in. I think the biggest thing that helped me was acknowledging that caring for children is a job on its own so even if I haven't completed the house work I've still achieved something as I have cared for my son all day. I understand that this would be harder with two. Good luck, you can do this.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rosieposiepie For This Useful Post:

    JR03  (04-05-2017),Yogis Mumma  (03-05-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So I freaked out too. My tips:
    - set up something the night before in terms of activities so the 4 year old has somethig to do. We had a lot of tea parties and playdoh. I'd sit on the floor while I breastfed baby
    - fenced playgrounds with a baby carrier were a lifesaver for us
    - tv time I saved for naps. I set her up with food and water and then go settle baby. I had less ibterruptions then.
    - pack you and her a lunchbox the night before. She can then eat from the lunchbox.

    Even though it does seem daunting at first it does get easier

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    JR03  (04-05-2017),Yogis Mumma  (03-05-2017)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I remember this feeling, but my hubby is FIFO so completely gone for 2 weeks at a time!

    All I can say is it will be hard but you will find your way of doing things... my hubby is very hands on with the kids & housework so I know I don't find my feet properly till he's gone & I'm quite proud of what I've had to deal with over the years,

    Remember some days will be really bad, but the next day is a new day & you can start again.

    If you have to sit & feed Bub, make sure you have a snack & drink available for your 4yo old that she can get on her own, set her up with a activity that you don't need to help her with, even if that's her favourite TV show (it's not going to hurt her to watch too much TV for a while!) Put Bub in a carrier if you are having trouble settling, there is no point getting worked up, sometimes nothing will work so just give into it & try again later... also put them both in the car if you need get out of the house put some music on & drive (I did this more than once!) don't worry about any other housework you can get that done on the weekend... also make your lunch & your 4 year olds before you go to bed or before your hubby leaves in the morning... same with dinner, prep before you go to bed so it's easy during the next day get a slow cooker if you don't have one!

    I'm 35 weeks with #3 & DS is at Kindy 3 days a week, with DD at daycare once a week... that has to be my biggest stress point when it comes to having a newborn added to the mix, getting them to school/DC on time! But when it comes down to it, if they are late so be it, it's not the end of the world!! Remind me this in a few months time when I'm having a melt down!!

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to AmyEL For This Useful Post:

    JR03  (04-05-2017),Yogis Mumma  (03-05-2017)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    It's scary but you can do it. You'll find your rhythm. My DH works super long hours and is also away usually 2 nights a week for work.
    As pp mentioned try to just do 1 thing each day. I find it works for me to have a plan for the day eg: grocery shopping one day, rhyme time the next, park the next day etc.
    We try to get out in the morning. During DS first nap I get the washing on/clean up after brekkie, then we head out and he will nap in the car/pram/carrier. Home for lunch and DD's nap, I usually lay down with DS to have a break. In the afternoons I try to do dinner prep while DS is asleep to avoid doing it all during witching hour. DD has had also quite a few "picnic dinners" in front of ABC kids while i fed an unsettled DS on the couch!
    When DS won't nap I put them both in the double pram and go for a walk in the late afternoon. If I'm lucky he'll sleep in the pram.
    Have a shower in the afternoon while they are both happy (Bub in bouncer, big one with books/toys/iPad) - I hate getting to bedtime and everyone is clean but I'm still gross.
    Outside time in the afternoon works for my kids - I get the washing in, DD burns off some energy and DS hangs in the pram or bouncer and stares at the leaves on the trees.
    Start bathtime early so if everything goes pear shaped you can chuck a toastie at the big one and park everyone in the lounge.
    Make your DH take them away even for just a long walk at some point on the weekend so you can have some time to yourself.
    Good luck!

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rosey82 For This Useful Post:

    JR03  (04-05-2017),Yogis Mumma  (03-05-2017)


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