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  1. #1
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    Default Don't know whether to start trying... Help!

    Hi all. I am brand new here. I'm still getting my head around all the acronyms you all use! Haha.
    I am newly married (since Jan) but we've been together for about 6 years. Just moved in to our new house and our money is pouring in to that. I feel emotionally ready for a baby, but I've just been offered to start a 2.5 year course at work and I feel stuck! I really don't want to wait the 2.5 years to start TTC, but I also don't want to regret taking up the job opportunity.
    Also struggling with dealing with potential judgement from family/friends who will no doubt have comments that we've fallen pregnant so quickly after getting married.

    Should we wait a year to save more money??

    I know it's ultimately our choice, but Any advice or ideas from you all?

    Looking forward to participating more on these forums you all seem so lovely

  2. #2
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    Honestly - there is never a right time. There is always something that means that you should wait - money, job opportunity, other stuff ....

    for mine, you should go for it when you are emotionally ready ... and dont sweat the other stuff too much. What will be, will be


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    I had things I wanted to do in my career and I've gotten most of them done now. I'm 29 so I didn't want to wait any longer. For me, age was definitely a big factor. How old are you? Being in that position at 25 vs being in that position a 35 is very different.

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    Hetty - I am 27. I know many of the things I want to do in my career will still be possible post-baby, but obviously it becomes a lot harder..

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    27 is so young..do the job save and then after 2 years look at trying to fall pregnant as of you are financially secure everything is less stressful.

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    Default Don't know whether to start trying... Help!

    I dont think 27 is too young.

    I also dont think anyone can really tell you if you should start trying sooner. There will always be something. Job, travel, courses, money.

    Some people never feel ready. But you should be at least comfortable and ready emotionally and financially

    I postponed trying till 31 and there were moments i regretted it. I still wish i tried a lil earlier. But i also regretted being too rigid in my early 20s and not travelling enough then.

    I would suggest taking some time to think about this and spend some time on the TTC forums. I know when I started trying I was so ignorant about the world of TTC. I just thought id try and be pregnant within 2-3 months and that was it. This may be what happens in your case but it doesnt happen all the time.
    Last edited by Simil; 03-05-2017 at 18:20.

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    Default Don't know whether to start trying... Help!

    I agree with @Butterfly Baby.

    I've been there, and I am really glad I waited until my career and finances were sorted. Obviously if you want five kids it's different, but if you want say, two, or even three, as long as you have no issues you have plenty of time and given you have this opportunity.. well, I was in the same situation and I waited.

    When I was 27 or 28 I went and got an AMH test to check my egg reserve, you may want to do that. It's just a blood test. Just a suggestion. When I was in your position I thought I should find out so if my egg reserve was low, I wasn't going to put it off. It doesn't tell you egg quality but it's good to know if you have a healthy egg reserve. And of course it's just one test and you could get all sorts of other things tested, but this was what I chose to do after a bit of reading.
    Last edited by Hetty; 03-05-2017 at 17:58.

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    Default Don't know whether to start trying... Help!

    Double post
    Last edited by Simil; 03-05-2017 at 18:18.

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    Have you thought about the early years? Do you want to stay home or will you return to work? In which case, do you need to save for your maternity leave? Or will your partners salary support you as a family?

    If the course is 2.5yrs, then you're only just over a year & a half away from starting. Could that be a good timeframe for planning/saving/last hurrah etc?

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    Can you do both? Baby and course?

    Many new parents study, I know I did, while pregnant, then with a newborn (and a toddler), then back at work full time.
    Many people told me not to do it, I'd set myself up to fail.
    I just graduated and with HDs in all my subjects...

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