+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 63
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,472
    Thanks
    1,743
    Thanked
    1,236
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger
    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPrint View Post
    Hello, just curious why you were wanting a boy? Do you already have a girl(s)? Or just a preference?
    I'm just wondering as I have two girls and we are going to start trying for a third and in all honesty I am hoping for another girl.
    I have two girls also and am expecting our third. Everyone assumes we really want a boy this time around but actually I'd be over the moon with another girl. I love having girls!

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Mama Mirabelle For This Useful Post:

    PinkPrint  (03-05-2017)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    5,338
    Thanks
    5,293
    Thanked
    5,085
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by zelda View Post
    Look, I know someone who got told girl and she had boy but that's the ONLY instance I know of and I have a fair few friends with kids both IRL and online. It was also about 10 years ago. I'd assume the scan was right and start dealing.

    I'm sorry you're feeling this whether it be your first or your fifth or whatever. I have been lucky enough to get what I wanted both times but (particularly for my first) I had a definite preference for what I wanted and I would have been disappointed to not get it. Contrary to popular opinion, that doesn't make me any less grateful for my babies health. Honestly, one has nothing to do with the other.

    Gender disappointment is real. It can have devastating effects if not dealt with. I hope the path to accepting your baby girl is not a long one and you can find a way to get excited by her arrival soon.
    This 1000x. I experienced gender disappointment with both boys. Telling somebody they should be grateful is the least unhelpful thing and just adds to the guilt we already feel. All she asked was if the scan could be wrong.

    Op, with both boys it was very obvious they were boys from about 16 weeks. If the sonographer had a clear view of your baby's crotch then I would say the scan is probably right. Hopefully you have support to deal with your feelings but also be kind to yourself, if you're genuinely disappointed, I've found with both boys that it slowly fades and you love them once they are here.

  4. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to HollyGolightly81 For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (31-05-2017),Chippa  (31-05-2017),Gentoo  (03-05-2017),ilovegiraffes  (31-05-2017),LouLaa  (07-05-2017),Mama Mirabelle  (03-05-2017),sarahjane914  (31-05-2017),skydancer  (08-06-2017)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked
    114
    Reviews
    0
    Skylah you should be thankful to have a child and considering a lot of people can't have one ....it's sad that you are not happy.

    You obviously had a child to easily so not appreciating the blessing.

    I was sad for you to read this post.

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Butterfly Baby For This Useful Post:

    dani251  (03-05-2017),magicmashie  (03-05-2017),Stephie91  (31-05-2017),StillHopeful1  (03-05-2017)

  7. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    5,338
    Thanks
    5,293
    Thanked
    5,085
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Baby View Post
    Skylah you should be thankful to have a child and considering a lot of people can't have one ....it's sad that you are not happy.

    You obviously had a child to easily so not appreciating the blessing.

    I was sad for you to read this post.
    What an awful thing to say. I'm sad to read this post as you obviously do not know the many reasons someone may experience gender disappointment.

  8. The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to HollyGolightly81 For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (31-05-2017),atomicmama  (03-05-2017),babyno1onboard  (03-05-2017),Chippa  (31-05-2017),DT75  (08-05-2017),ExcuseMyFrench  (03-05-2017),Gentoo  (03-05-2017),gingermillie  (03-05-2017),ilovegiraffes  (31-05-2017),lauzie  (03-05-2017),LouLaa  (07-05-2017),Mama Mirabelle  (03-05-2017),MrsBMum2be  (02-06-2017),PinkPrint  (03-05-2017),Renn  (03-05-2017),sarahjane914  (31-05-2017),skydancer  (08-06-2017),smallpotatoes  (03-05-2017),TheGooch  (03-05-2017),Trytryandtryagain  (03-05-2017),Yogis Mumma  (03-05-2017),zelda  (03-05-2017)

  9. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    231
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked
    377
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Baby View Post
    Skylah you should be thankful to have a child and considering a lot of people can't have one ....it's sad that you are not happy.

    You obviously had a child to easily so not appreciating the blessing.

    I was sad for you to read this post.
    Oh ffs.

    Where did she say she wasn't thankful? Where did she say that she did not appreciate the blessing? Once again, gender, a baby's health health and fertility have nothing to with each other. Each and every one can present a set of difficulties to different people.

    Lets try support rather than judgement shall we people?

  10. The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to zelda For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (31-05-2017),atomicmama  (03-05-2017),DT75  (08-05-2017),ExcuseMyFrench  (03-05-2017),Gentoo  (03-05-2017),HollyGolightly81  (03-05-2017),lauzie  (03-05-2017),LouLaa  (07-05-2017),Mama Mirabelle  (03-05-2017),Meld85  (02-06-2017),Redcorset  (03-05-2017),sarahjane914  (03-05-2017),TheGooch  (03-05-2017),Trytryandtryagain  (03-05-2017),Yogis Mumma  (03-05-2017)

  11. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked
    114
    Reviews
    0
    Seriously people on this site have 13 attempts and can't have a child ...I have so many friends who would be happy with 1 baby not 4 and then not happy because of gender inequality. I am pretty fixed on this as have spoken to too many women who have 3 girls but want a boy and have 4 boys but want a girl...I just think it's wrong. Be thankful and happy. ..

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Butterfly Baby For This Useful Post:

    magicmashie  (03-05-2017)

  13. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    871
    Thanks
    246
    Thanked
    596
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Baby View Post
    Seriously people on this site have 13 attempts and can't have a child ...I have so many friends who would be happy with 1 baby not 4 and then not happy because of gender inequality. I am pretty fixed on this as have spoken to too many women who have 3 girls but want a boy and have 4 boys but want a girl...I just think it's wrong. Be thankful and happy. ..
    One persons journey is not another's. You're right, in an ideal world everyone would be perfectly happy with whatever gender they got because having a baby of any sex is a miracle. But that's not how it works in the real world.

    Some of the PPs who said "why do you want a boy?" well why wouldn't she? They are awesome. The fact that you have 2 girls and are hoping for a 3rd girl makes me think that perhaps you would get GD if you found out you were having a boy as you seem to have a preference for girls? Don't get me wrong, girls are fabulous too, I have one girl and two boys and love them all equally, but parenting boys vs girls is so different, it depends what you invisage for your life and that's where GD can creep in.

    To the OP, it's highly unlikely they got the scan wrong at 20 weeks, like others with boys have mentioned their boy bits are very visible at that gestation.
    Last edited by Mod-Degrassi; 04-05-2017 at 07:50. Reason: Mentions another forum

  14. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to GingerKat For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (31-05-2017),Chippa  (31-05-2017),Gentoo  (03-05-2017),sarahjane914  (03-05-2017)

  15. #18
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    595
    Thanks
    1,300
    Thanked
    1,264
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I've just been through gender disappointment too OP.
    Harmony tests have stated we're having a girl, and I'd ALWAYS just wanted my first to be a boy. No rhyme or reason why.
    Anyways, I googled 'gender disappointment', downloaded some podcasts on it, and have grieved the loss of my expectation/ want (not over the miracle). I've never not been appreciative of my blessing regardless; just allow yourself to go through the process you need to. (I'm now beyond excited for a mini-me! I just wasn't initially; I get it)

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to MUG81 For This Useful Post:

    Yogis Mumma  (03-05-2017)

  17. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    908
    Thanks
    1,233
    Thanked
    732
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Just another one wanting to reassure you OP that contrary to what some judgemental people may say from their lofty towers of self-righteousness, gender disappointment is not something you can help feeling, nor should you feel ashamed of it. Everyone goes into TTC with ideas about how their future will look, and what their child will be like. And when the reality turns out to be the opposite, it can take a while to get your head around it and build a new picture of your future.

    I desperately wanted a girl both times and - you guessed it - ended up with two boys. Both were confirmed early by NIPT and, like you, I initially held out hope that there was the slightest chance they were wrong. But as others have said, with time you get used to the idea and start getting excited again. And when they arrive, you love them regardless of gender. I''ll always be a little sad that I didn't get my little girl, but in no way am I sad about having my two boys.

    Give yourself time to process it, and don't pay attention to anyone who tells you that your feelings aren't legitimate.

  18. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Gentoo For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (31-05-2017),LouLaa  (07-05-2017),MUG81  (03-05-2017),sarahjane914  (03-05-2017),SuperGranny  (01-06-2017),twinklify  (03-05-2017)

  19. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    486
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked
    87
    Reviews
    0

    Default Been told girl at 20 week scan wanting a boy

    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post

    Some of the PPs who said "why do you want a boy?" well why wouldn't she? They are awesome. The fact that you have 2 girls and are hoping for a 3rd girl makes me think that perhaps you would get GD if you found out you were having a boy as you seem to have a preference for girls? Don't get me wrong, girls are fabulous too, I have one girl and two boys and love them all equally, but parenting boys vs girls is so different, it depends what you invisage for your life and that's where GD can creep in.
    Yep that is correct. I am concerned I may have gender disappointment if we end up with a boy, whether it's because girls are all I know right now. That's not to say I wouldn't be grateful for a boy. Thats why I asked why she would prefer a boy so I could see someone elses reasonings so maybe I could get on board and feel the same way if we fall with a boy.

    I didn't ask it in the tone of why do you want a boy like it is a bad thing.
    Last edited by PinkPrint; 03-05-2017 at 08:40.

  20. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to PinkPrint For This Useful Post:

    Emma1217  (27-07-2017),GingerKat  (03-05-2017),Mama Mirabelle  (03-05-2017)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 31
    Last Post: 10-01-2011, 13:53
  2. Been told girl after 3 boys
    By Natalieena in forum Baby's Gender
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-01-2011, 20:18
  3. Been told girl after 3 boys
    By Natalieena in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-12-2010, 22:41
  4. can any of you tell if boy or girl on 24 weeks scan
    By 1tpreg in forum Baby's Gender
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 12-11-2010, 12:14
  5. 18 week scan, did they do yours?? I just got told its a 20 week scan NOT 18!
    By Jamaica in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 29-10-2008, 20:16

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Baby Car Seats and Infant Car RestraintsBuying a baby car seat? Check out our 'go-to' links here!
FORUMS - chatting now ...
ok or too young?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
IVF Babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017 #3pregnancy and babies through IVF
Delightful DecemberConception & Fertility General Chat
Hey!Introductions
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›