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  1. #41
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    i should say that we've had no help from dh's parents. they're divorced and although his mum is generous with what little she has, she can't afford to give much help (but we never want/expect it anyway!). i think she gave dh $2k when we moved out towards setting our place up, maybe $1k for our wedding. she's constantly frittering money away on unnecessary gifts, presents, stuff for ds. we wish she'd just save it for herself as she needs to take care of herself more. dh's dad has zero and we get nothing from him, not even a bday card for ds. it got me down for a while but dh said he expects nothing from his dad, is just happy enough to catch up once or twice a year. his dad has financial probs so better we don't get involved. then we'd feel obligated to help out. it's better this way.

  2. #42
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    This thread is so interesting! I'd never even considered the idea of parents paying for home deposits or anything like that. I'm 100% on my own when it comes to that stuff, as is DP. It just wouldn't happen. I've never felt hard done by with my parents not helping me, the thought hadn't occurred to me! Everything I've done has been on my own - mind you I haven't travelled, had a wedding or anything. I saved my own deposit & bought my house 10 years ago. There's no way I'd get help with things like groceries, cars, expenses. I think it's a lovely concept of families helping each other out, it'd be lovely to be able to help DD when she's older - as long as we've taught her good saving habits too.

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  4. #43
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    From my family, no. Mum has six kids all up and will help where she can but she doesn't have the $$ to be giving any significant aid to us and I've not liked to ask. My dad still has teens at home so he doesn't have anything to spare though did spend a couple of grand on our wedding reception which was nice.

    PIL has helped massively. They kept us afloat last year when DH had no income as he had to stay home with me. We would have lost our house if not for them.

    They've also in the past paid for things for the kids. DD needed grommets and we couldn't afford to go through private so were languishing in the public system when they decided to help us out to get her sorted quickly.

    We've told them we would like to pay them back but it will probably take us 20 years. I have suggested they lessen DH's inheritance by the amount they've given us and I think that's now the plan.

  5. #44
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    My parents helped us pay for a new rental bond but we paid them back. That's about it.

  6. #45
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    I have amazingly generous parents. Both my mum and dad grew up very poor - when my dad left home he owned one pair of pants and and two shirts.

    By the time I went to uni my parents were much better off and they paid for all of my uni.

    Since then they have helped DH and I out a lot of times, but we have always paid them back. Dad was an accountant so he kept very good records of the borrowings.

    For Christmas and birthdays we always get very good gifts and usually something we need for the house like a piece of furniture etc.

  7. #46
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    Quite alot. 1st car from my dad (2nd hand), cash from both my parents towards our wedding, my mum gifts cash everynow and then towards stuff for my kids, MIL gave us cash for our business. Plus all the free board we got during some periods when we didn't/couldn't rent. My dad also said he would go guarantor for us for a mortgage. I feel lucky.

  8. #47
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    I never wished my parents would gift money, but I wish they had been more understanding.
    We lived in a house that they owned, DH worked in real estate and finance at the time and helped them acquire it cheap, and with good rates. It got nearly 100k increase in valuation a year after they owned it. So DH worked his **** off getting them this amazing deal. We rented it off them at market price (~$500 p/w) , and our rent included a landscaper every fortnight. They canned the landscaping after a while but didn't drop that amount off the rent. Nearly a year later, hubby lost his job. We did what we could while he desperately searched for a new job. Went really far into debt as we struggled to pay anything. Kept on top of rent and buying food and that's about it. Got to the point one week where we had a choice of rent OR food (had 3 small kids and one due in a few weeks). We chose to feed our children, stuck to plain rice and sausages, so nothing extravagant. And got the rent in nearly a week late. They evicted us.

  9. #48
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    Lots. My mum is a pensioner and still gifted us $10,000 in savings towards my first house with dh.

    Mil and fil (separated) paid about $10,000 worth of bills when DH got retrenched when DS was on life support. We now live with mil rent free. But we also do heaps for mil too. Gardening cooking etc she wasn't doing that before. Fil also leant us a car before we got finance for one.

    My dad has also bought me a car. My family is selfless. And caring.

    Every week my mum even though she is only on carers pension for my brother will bring groceries over for me and my family. My mum has the biggest heart. I hope within the next year or so we can buy her a house ❤️

  10. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    I hope within the next year or so we can buy her a house ❤️
    Will you buy her a house outright? Tell me your secret!? Do you own now?

  11. #50
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    @Ahalfdozen oh that's so sad! I can't believe parents would do that to their kids .

    My family view it as "our money". Like it's all one big pool. We all have separate bank accounts etc and manage our own lives. But if I pay too much for something my dad takes it like he's been personally ripped off even though it's my money. I have to hide my receipts if I have bought chicken over $9 a kilo . Not worth the argument. So although it's incredibly annoying having everything scrutinised the pool works both ways. If I got into trouble I know I'm covered. My brother in laws business failed and my dad paid out hundreds of thousands of dollars in debts so they weren't declared bankrupt.

    I hope I'm in the same position to support my kids when needed


 
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