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  1. #21
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    My parents and my FIL split the cots of our wedding reception 15 years ago ($5000 total), FIL lent us money for our first bond 20 years ago which we repaid but beyond that and generic stuff like picking up the bill at a family dinner we've received no extra assistance. My parents have helped my sister at times when funds have been tight and she rents a property from them for a little less than market value. But for the most part my brother, sister and I have done things for ourselves.

    By the same token, we each know that if ever we do genuinely need their support they would be more than willing - and the security of knowing that is invaluable. I'm not talking a house deposit necessarily but they probably would do that (or similar lump sum) in certain circumstances. More if there's a change in circumstance and all of a sudden we couldn't pay the bills - they would definitely help out. Dad has expressed that he wishes he could do more for us now rather than us wait for an inheritance but we tell my parents it's their money to use for themselves. Dad had only recently retired after decades of long hours and we just want him to relax and enjoy, not worry about leaving us an inheritance.

  2. #22
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    @Mod-Uniquey

    Oh hon, as a fellow renter that kind of snide and pretentious attitude makes my blood boil.
    Last edited by Mod-Degrassi; 28-04-2017 at 11:18.

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    Mod-Uniquey  (28-04-2017)

  4. #23
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    BH-KatiesMum is online now Community Manager
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    to you all.

    I am so blessed.

    My parents never had much so growing up we never had any money etc ... but by the time I went to Uni they were a bit more comfortable. They bought a small flat for me and my sisters to share and supported me through Uni.

    DH's parents were significantly better off and have helped us enormously - and its made a huge difference to our financial situation. I never forget how lucky I am that they (both my parents and DH's) have been so wonderful.

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    Mod-Uniquey  (28-04-2017)

  6. #24
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    Thanks hon, I omitted the snide comments he says (out of respect for DH, not that he reads bh, but ykwim). It does get you down, that's for sure.

  7. #25
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    My dad paid my first house deposit, stamp duty and legal fees. As a single mum this was life changing. I have since sold that house and bought a farm with DP. All of it has been made possible because of my dad and I am so grateful.

    A few years ago my mum got an inheritance and she and my step dad gave each of their adult children some money. With my portion my mum specified that it was for a safer car (I was driving an old Volvo at the time). She wanted me to upgrade to something with airbags. So I bought a newer Volvo (still second hand though).

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    Yogis Mumma  (28-04-2017)

  9. #26
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    This story best sums up my situation. When I was young and had just moved out of home I ran out of money and it was a couple of weeks till pay day. I told my mum and she transferred some money to my account. When I was doing my grocery shopping the jewellery shop next door had a 50% off sale and I fell in love with a hold bangle and bought it. I then had to ring my mum and tell her I had spent all the money on the bangle. Her reply was "well you have to buy these things when you find them. I will transfer some more".

    I always pay it back and I have gotten much better with money but still run out occasionally and they have my back.

    I too have been given an "early inheritance" and they have also helped me avoid mortgage insurance.

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    Yogis Mumma  (28-04-2017)

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    oh forgot to add, my parents staunchly disagree with lenders mortgage insurance so they went guarantor for our home loan. they did the same for my sister also. they're no longer guarantor for her and i'm hoping we can get it removed on our home loan asap!

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    Yogis Mumma  (28-04-2017)

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    I have received minimal financial assistance from my parents in my adult life...they very strongly encouraged independence and saving for what you want. I took a gap year after leaving high school and worked full time for 6mths before going travelling for 6mths. My parents gave me $1000 for my 18th birthday towards my trip. I worked part time and paid my uni fees as I went (still living at home for the most part). At 21 I bought my first house with a small saved deposit and the FHOG, the first yrs were a bit hard but I survived and I still have the house now. I've never had a car loan, I save til I can buy what I want.
    I would have to be pretty desperate to ask for financial help from a relative tbh. I have told my parents to be SKIDS ☺ Spending the Kids Inheritance...they have worked hard and have earned it, they should now enjoy it in retirement. I have no expectations to receive an inheritance. My parents gave my brothers and I $1000 each from my pops inheritance but invested the balance for their retirement .

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Uniquey View Post

    As for my in-laws, they're quite well-off, but very tight with their money. Each to their own. However, I will be absolutely honest and say, I feel miffed, as FIL cannot help himself but make derogatory passive aggressive comments to us. For example, we sold our home and rent instead due to our transient lifestyle because of work commitments. FIL now thinks we're losers compared to Dh's siblings as they all have a home etc, but we plebs *only* rent. He loves to tell us how proud he is of the others and how well they've done and how sensible they are, every time he sees us. He has no clue about the cost of living metro (he is country, as are dh's siblings) and definitely has no clue to the cost of mortgages/deposits nor what it's like to buy a house, only to have to move 6 mths later etc.
    I could have written this but this ^^ is my parent not inlaws. Constantly b*tches behind my back how we don't own. Yet they have been given an INSANE amount of money by their well off parents, including their own deposit and they are quite well off themselves but have not even offered a cent to help out.

    So I'm such an embarrassment bc I don't own, yet they have been given constant handouts themselves and won't help me Riiight. I'm actually extremely hurt by the whole situation (there is a whole backstory and history, I'm not some spoiled brat lol) and really what spurned my thread. Even 5k would be wonderful, but nope!

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    Yogis Mumma  (28-04-2017)

  16. #30
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    My parents paid for half of my uni fees (I paid the other half working pt through uni).

    ILs gave us a lump sum towards house deposit.

    ILs paid husband's uni fees in full.

    Wedding was paid by my parents and ILs 50/50.

    I consider my PT salary since having kids an ongoing gift from parents and ILs as they look after the kids so I can work. I would not have returned to work until kids were school age otherwise (personal preference only).


 

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