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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by shellzand View Post
    They grew up struggling and did not want us to have the same experience. My in laws are just as amazing and selfless.
    Wow! You have generous parents. This is why we want to help our kids - bc we haven't got any ourselves. We look around at pretty much everyone we know with a house and they were given financial help.

  2. #12
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    When I started uni they let me use one of their cars, when I got my first job while studying they purchased me a car and I paid them back. They offered me some of that money when I blew up the engine and needed to fix it.

    Both parents and in laws contributed to our wedding, my parents paid for cake and cars and my dress and my in laws paid the bar tab.

    Both families are super generous with their helping us but I'm one of three and my husband is one of four and neither family is particularly well off to provide large financial assistance.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by ivyninja View Post
    On the other side, the IL's are overseas and we actually send money sometimes to MIL and DH's grandmother as they are not well off and when there are health issues etc they can struggle a bit to keep up. I imagine the level of support we need to provide is going to increase as MIL gets older as DH is an only child.
    We also occasionally help out the IL's too. They don't ask for money, but SIL recently admitted she deposits money into MIL's account fortnightly to help them out with groceries. Apparently the other day they were extremely tight for cash (SIL told DH), so we deposited some money in MIL's because we were able to (DH had a big pay week at work). Living on the pension and still paying rent is ridiculously tough

  4. #14
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    My parents paid for half of my college tuition and our wedding reception. They loaned us $30,000 deposit so we could get the house we wanted, which we are paying back without interest. But they are very generous people, always spoiling us and whenever they come to visit (about once a month) they buy our dinner etc. When my daughter was born, they bought her nursery furniture. My in-laws are still paying their mortgage and don't really have it to give, but they often still buy us dinner etc when we are with them. We live a distance away, so seeing our parents doesn't happen as often as it does for some people.

  5. #15
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    Nothing.
    Both are widowed a long, long time.
    We try help them out.

  6. #16
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    My parents gave me my first car. I am the youngest of 6 kids so nobody got given big sums of money but they have always helped us out when asked.

    My parents took me travelling to North America and Europe to where my mum was born and that planted a seed for me to travel.

    My husband is from Ireland and has lived here since 1999. My in laws live overseas so we don't get much help. My husband had a lot saved up when we met. His dad gave us $7k as a wedding present and about $5k when we went to Ireland 5.5 years ago.

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    3bubbys  (28-04-2017)

  8. #17
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    My parents ZERO EVER despite being well off. But then I have never asked either, because I learnt from growing up that money ALWAYS has expectations and ties and is used as a means to control others.

    My inlaws, who are farmers, have been great, even though I detest my MIL with a passion and we have nothing in common, and I have struggled for years just to remain civil because she is such an idiot, she is good to her son (my DH)..... so she pays our kids private Lutheran school fees, which is a HUGE thing. The inlaws are staunch German Lutherans and want all the grandchildren to go to the Lutheran school...So I suck it up a lot and be as nice as I can to her, despite her constant snipes, because 15K in private school fees is kinda worth it. In return my DH fixes their farm equipment for free, helps out on the farm for free and I send DH and the kids to have lunch with them every Sunday, although nothing was ever discussed... it just seems reasonable.

    The finance manager at the kids school called me once and said that the inlaws had decided to take over the paying of the school fees.... nothing was ever discussed with me or with DH.
    I thought, well, nothing is ever "free" what are they after...
    The finance manager smiled and said "Guess who she is living with when she is OLD!!!!?"
    Last edited by Rachel3072; 28-04-2017 at 09:45.

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  10. #18
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    Default *Spin off* How much financial help have your parents/IL's given you?

    Nothing/no help from either parents.

    We don't ask, but we've never been offered either.

    How do I feel about it? In terms of my parents, perfectly fine, as I know they show generosity where they can to charities and helping others etc.

    As for my in-laws, they're quite well-off, but very tight with their money. Each to their own. However, I will be absolutely honest and say, I feel miffed, as FIL cannot help himself but make derogatory passive aggressive comments to us. For example, we sold our home and rent instead due to our transient lifestyle because of work commitments. FIL now thinks we're losers compared to Dh's siblings as they all have a home etc, but we plebs *only* rent. He loves to tell us how proud he is of the others and how well they've done and how sensible they are, every time he sees us. He has no clue about the cost of living metro (he is country, as are dh's siblings) and definitely has no clue to the cost of mortgages/deposits nor what it's like to buy a house, only to have to move 6 mths later etc.

    So if I'm honest, it irks me in terms of the in-laws.

    As a whole, I was brought up to work hard for yourself and not rely on the hand-outs of others. I was paying my parents board even when I was at highschool and only doing a part-time job. I bought my first car, lived overseas on my own at 18 yrs and bought a house (pre-marriage/kids) when I was 25yrs, so I guess I don't know what I'm missing (in terms of a leg-up, as I've never had it).
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 28-04-2017 at 09:46.

  11. #19
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    Default *Spin off* How much financial help have your parents/IL's given you?

    My parents were big on home ownership so matched our deposits, and encouraged savings early on but we still had to pay the mortgages, they bought me a second hand car for my 18th , DH parents will always "lend" money to any of their kids if needed but they charge the interest they would be claiming if the money were in the bank
    Last edited by Elijahs Mum; 28-04-2017 at 09:48.

  12. #20
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    *Secretly wish I could print out the other thread and leave it around the in-laws*
    Snicker..

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