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  1. #1
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    Default *Spin off* How much financial help have your parents/IL's given you?

    As an adult?

    My parents have never offered up money for a house deposit or anything huge (we are striving to save for a house deposit, but still way short of what we need), though they've helped out on a few important occasions.

    They paid for my wedding reception (we paid for everything else), which was enormously helpful. When I was 20 my car got stolen & written off - they helped out by paying out about 1.8K remaining on my car loan so I could get another loan for a replacement car. Also, once my dad paid for me to do an MYOB course which was worth a few hundred (his offer, I didn't ask him to fund it).

    I am the type that would rather struggle than ask my parents for money, though if the time came that they wanted to offer us help to get into the housing market I believe I'd be comfortable accepting said offer.

    As for the IL's, they are battlers and pensioners, so they aren't able to offer financial assistance even if they wanted to.

    If you've never received any financial assistance from your parents/IL's, how do you feel about it?

  2. #2
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    Default *Spin off* How much financial help have your parents/IL's given you?

    We have on occasion asked MIL and FIL for money. I'm talking like a few hundred for a bill that we pay back the next pay day. I think we owe a little bit to FIL still for something but not 100% sure.

    My parents, I never borrowed a significant amount of money. In fact, she had an excel spreadsheet going of money I owed her (my share for take out, if I borrowed a dollar for the bus etc) since I got my first job at 14.
    Last edited by Ahalfdozen; 28-04-2017 at 09:56.

  3. #3
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    We've never asked or expected financial assistance but my in-laws have been extremely generous.

    For our first house deposit, we were gifted an early inheritance (that's what ILs called it) so we didn't have to pay mortgage lenders insurance. We had saved a lot but would have had to pay the extra if not for the support.

    Hubby and I weren't keen at first as we didn't want to feel indebted to them but they've been great about it. They said we'd be getting the money one day (when they pass) so they'd rather see us 'enjoy' some of it

    When hubby and I lived overseas, my father in law gave us a $2000 'emergency fund' so that if we ever needed cash, we didn't have to ask (so thoughtful). Thankfully, hubby and I are good with money and were able to return it when we moved back home.

    My inlaws are very generous and thoughtful and we are very appreciative...but we're carefully not to accept too much!

  4. #4
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    None whatsoever from DH's side. A little bit from one of my parents with general living expenses as a teen, none from the other.

    We have paid for everything and done everything for ourselves. We are proud of that, but I won't lie - I really wished we could have had just a tiny bit of help with our deposit, particularly since one of my parents could easily help me but chooses not to (which hurts bc they have had a tonne of financial help from their parents). But anyhoo, it is what it is.

  5. #5
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    We recently returned from living overseas and around the same time my dad bought a new car and gave us his 'old' one (less than 5 years old and valued around 16k). He didn't really need a new car and I think it was a bit of an excuse to get himself a new one as well as a reward to us for 'coming home' (they were afraid I'd stay away forever). We are extremely grateful as we couldn't have afforded anything nearly as nice after spending our entire savings on relocating.

    I imagine when it comes to the point we are ready to buy a house we will probably ask for help with part of the deposit, but in that case I would expect it to be a loan rather than a gift.

    On the other side, the IL's are overseas and we actually send money sometimes to MIL and DH's grandmother as they are not well off and when there are health issues etc they can struggle a bit to keep up. I imagine the level of support we need to provide is going to increase as MIL gets older as DH is an only child.

    So we have both sides of the spectrum.

  6. #6
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    Nothing significant. I put myself through uni at 20 while working a FT job. We were both working FT and saved for our wedding & first house deposit. My parents are well off, they put my younger sister through uni & supported her to live etc while at uni (she didn't work) but she's the 'smart' one and deserved to go to uni.

    My husband had more support from his parents but still not a lot really. I believe they did help him out a bit while he was at uni and helped pay for a professional wardrobe (suits) for when he started work after graduating.

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    my parents loaned me $2k when i moved interstate alone. they were repaid from the proceeds of the sale of my car which i left behind.

    we received $16k wedding gift from them which we put towards our house deposit. note this is what they paid towards my sisters wedding whereas we self funded our entire wedding and hence received the money as a gift instead.

    they also paid off an old $5k debt for me. again, it was equal to what my sister received.

    my mum also gave me $1300 towards a new fridge when dh (then dp) and i first moved in together.

    that's all the help i've received. like there's probably been smaller bits and bobs along the way, but these are the bigger ticket help things we've received.

    i don't want/expect anything else. that's been a huge leg up as it is and we work hard for everything else we have!

  8. #8
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    My parents have been very financially supportive. Every time we go and visit them they cover all expenses and refuse to take a cent from us. Mum takes me shopping and still buys me whatever I need or want and refuses to let me pay. Every time they come to visit dinner or take out is on them. They gifted us 100k so that I could invest into the company I work for, I am now partner because of them. They will give me whatever I need, such selfless, amazing people. I bought my first house at 21 because my mother had been putting money aside from my part time job for me and my father guaranteed the loan, although I had the deposit my income was not sufficient. Love them to bits. They grew up struggling and did not want us to have the same experience. My in laws are just as amazing and selfless.

  9. #9
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    None as an adult. We don't need the help so I'm not bothered. We've bought our properties, paid everything for our wedding, never lived with family as an adult so no free rent.

    While I think it's wonderful that parents help out their kids I think it's a fine line between a bit of a boost and doing things for them.

    I would love to match savings for a deposit or allow our children to live rent free in one of our investments but I would expect them to be working towards independence and a career.

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  11. #10
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    My parents and in laws have helped us enormously and we are extremely grateful. My parents bought me my first car and paid for our wedding. My in laws helped DH by contributing towards the deposit for the first house he bought which we initially lived in when we got married and now own as an investment property. My Dad, brother and FIL all work in the construction industry and worked on our current house for free.

    Non financially we have a family dinner at our parents' houses with each of our families once a week which means we don't have to cook twice a week. Both my mum and MIL look after DD1 one day a week each so that's two free days of childcare.

    Honestly the list could go on and on. They help us in numerous ways every day. If I run out of groceries mum is happy to drop them off for me, if something breaks in our house I never need to call a repair man because if DH can't fix it either my dad or FIL will. I know we are privileged to have this kind of support and I don't take it lightly.

    I think though that what I'm describing is the norm in our culture/ religion. It's the whole idea of the village. If someone in your family needs help you help them if you can, which is how I will raise my children. When our parents get older we will return all of their kindness by looking after them and having them live with us, the idea of putting them in an old age home is totally off the table. Your parents help you and then you help them, that's just normal for us.


 

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